Feeling disconnected

[sunnymess54]

Whenever there is a long stretch of time between our visits I feel completely disconnected from my SO. He says we are fine, he's happy, he loves me, he loves being in this relationship etc. I love all that but on my end I always feel like when we are apart waiting for our next visit we are more friends than in a relationship.
We text majority of the time but we are both busy (i work overnights, he works days/ evenings) so most of our conversations are small and spaced. It makes me so depressed that I feel like we aren't as close as we used to be, it makes me miss him more. I don't understand how he doesn't see how things have changed.

Anytime we have visits I am always soo stand offish that first day/night. I always have all these mixed feelings of seeing him and instantly getting those butterflies and also feeling just overwhelmed with how I feel about him but also feeling like I have to get used to actually being his girlfriend again and telling myself its OK to hug him etc because for so long my mind has kind of twisted into friend mode per say ..its stupid and it probably doesn't make since to anyone else at all. I just wish I could get my mind to shut off!!!

My question is how does everyone else stay connected, keep the lovey feelings between visits so your not feeling like you're just friends?

[R&R]

Whenever there is a long stretch of time between our visits I feel completely disconnected from my SO. He says we are fine, he's happy, he loves me, he loves being in this relationship etc. I love all that but on my end I always feel like when we are apart waiting for our next visit we are more friends than in a relationship.
We text majority of the time but we are both busy (i work overnights, he works days/ evenings) so most of our conversations are small and spaced. It makes me so depressed that I feel like we aren't as close as we used to be, it makes me miss him more. I don't understand how he doesn't see how things have changed.

Anytime we have visits I am always soo stand offish that first day/night. I always have all these mixed feelings of seeing him and instantly getting those butterflies and also feeling just overwhelmed with how I feel about him but also feeling like I have to get used to actually being his girlfriend again and telling myself its OK to hug him etc because for so long my mind has kind of twisted into friend mode per say ..its stupid and it probably doesn't make since to anyone else at all. I just wish I could get my mind to shut off!!!

My question is how does everyone else stay connected, keep the lovey feelings between visits so your not feeling like you're just friends?

My SO and I have been together 3 1/2 years. We love each other and there are "lovey" times, but for the most part we have moved to that comfortable stage of our relationship. We talk about our day and future trips and plans. We should be closing the distance within the next 12 months (I have to finish school first). When we're living together, it really moves into comfort level. My SO is my friend, not just my lover. He is there for everything - fun time to boring times, romantic times to casual times. A relationship encompasses so many things and a good portion of those are the every day things and not the romantic ones.

[sunnymess54]

That was comforting, thank you!😁. Sometimes I forget that a relationship isn't all about romance. You have to be friends first etc. Every relationship gets to that comfortable place. In a CD relationship I don't think we think so much about how comfortable it has become versus being in a LD relationship where all we do is have time to do is think.

[erwin1973]

That was comforting, thank you!��. Sometimes I forget that a relationship isn't all about romance. You have to be friends first etc. Every relationship gets to that comfortable place. In a CD relationship I don't think we think so much about how comfortable it has become versus being in a LD relationship where all we do is have time to do is think.

Correct, I am happy my girl is also my best friend. At the moment, I do have some personal problems and she is always hearing me out about it, making me feel less down, or even better than that. After that, there is time for the casual, day chat. How are you, what did you do, how's your daughter, how's my son...
And if there is any time left, we take it a step further (sometimes 2 steps too...)
Most important is, in my humble opinion, that the love stays and that you feel comfortable with your SO. Missing is good - that means you care about your SO. I understand it's difficult with different dayschedules, especially if the time difference is not that big (we have a 6-7 hour time difference).
If you ever feel down, just talk to him about your feelings. May be there is something he can do for you.
Also, what I do, is that regulairly (how do I write that?) I write my lady a loveletter. By hand. And then it gets by regular mail to her. We share photo's, too, on chat. Lots of them. That helps us feel close.
Mind that what works for one couple, does not nessicaraly (??) work for another couple. My SO and I have many things we think the same about.

Sorry for my messy English today, I'm tired and not feeling too well and it's not my first language.

[sunnymess54]

Our time difference is only two hours @ 2500 miles apart. Thankfully closing the distance in September if it all works out as planned.
I wish my SO was a bit chessy or more lovey dovey and did sweet things like writing me a love letter or even buying a sweet card but he's not that type, heck I was surprised that he was the first one to say I love you lol.

He is my bestfriend and he supports me through all my anxieties and insecurities. I guess we just hit that comfortable spot and with the distance it feels worse and it more noticeable then if we were a CD couple.

Thank you for your input. Its very much appreciated!

[Loveyoumore]

I understand completely how you feel. I feel this way at times then we face time & i feel connected again. Face time definitely helps with feeling connected while apart. Right now im not for certain when we will see eachother again is making me a bit low & frustrated today. Love isnt always romantic like the movies...its blah boring day to day at times. My guy isnt just my guy...he is a freibd...lover & my boyfriend. The distance (time spent apart from each other physically, not just geographical distance) does make you have weak days or moments. Its normal to feel low, weak, or depressed at times in a LDR. Hang in there hopefully tomorrow will be better for the both of us.

[Redheart14]

Our time difference is only two hours @ 2500 miles apart. Thankfully closing the distance in September if it all works out as planned.
I wish my SO was a bit chessy or more lovey dovey and did sweet things like writing me a love letter or even buying a sweet card but he's not that type, heck I was surprised that he was the first one to say I love you lol.

He is my bestfriend and he supports me through all my anxieties and insecurities. I guess we just hit that comfortable spot and with the distance it feels worse and it more noticeable then if we were a CD couple.

Thank you for your input. Its very much appreciated!

you have a rough date to close the distance. Focus on that and how great it'll be. The little things will get you through

[Chris516]

Whenever there is a long stretch of time between our visits I feel completely disconnected from my SO. He says we are fine, he's happy, he loves me, he loves being in this relationship etc. I love all that but on my end I always feel like when we are apart waiting for our next visit we are more friends than in a relationship.
We text majority of the time but we are both busy (i work overnights, he works days/ evenings) so most of our conversations are small and spaced. It makes me so depressed that I feel like we aren't as close as we used to be, it makes me miss him more. I don't understand how he doesn't see how things have changed.

Anytime we have visits I am always soo stand offish that first day/night. I always have all these mixed feelings of seeing him and instantly getting those butterflies and also feeling just overwhelmed with how I feel about him but also feeling like I have to get used to actually being his girlfriend again and telling myself its OK to hug him etc because for so long my mind has kind of twisted into friend mode per say ..its stupid and it probably doesn't make since to anyone else at all. I just wish I could get my mind to shut off!!!

My question is how does everyone else stay connected, keep the lovey feelings between visits so your not feeling like you're just friends?

Do you keep the communication going between visits? I call my SO every day, to every other day. It doesn't matter if nothing has changed. I call her anyway.