How do you deal with the uncertainty?

[AgentB]

Hey everyone,

So glad the forum is back up and running.

After visiting my guy in Iceland for 6 weeks in Jan/Feb, I was so happy that everything went so well. I went not knowing how things would go, but he ended up wanting to spend time together pretty much every day, and spoiled me in a few other ways. It was so nice to have the companionship and spend time together every day, and we went on some road trips together too :-D I even met both of his parents.

I also got over my fear of asking him if he wanted to come visit me in Canada - it took me until the night before I left but I finally did, and his response was "I would love to!" I told him I'm also interested in going back there to visit him this summer and he said I was welcome any time. I was so relieved about that. :-D

But, I guess this has been the crappy part... having to go home. I was definitely sad when I had to leave and I miss him a lot.

How do you deal with the uncertainty of not knowing how things will go? I'm really hoping he actually comes for a visit - I told him he's welcome to stay with me so it would be a relatively cheap trip for him. I don't want to pressure him and I haven't brought it up again since I left a month ago, I sort of wanted to leave it up to him when and if he comes. I wonder if he's going to actually take me up on my offer.

[sasad]

well, we talk an communicate with each other..

Are you both in a committed relationship? How long have you been in this? You sound like you are just friends waiting for a visit? Again, we cant read his mind and have no idea where he is att.. so ask him

[Sparkling72]

Welcome!

You get over uncertainty in a long distance relationship the same as you get over it in person. Yes, it can be a little more challenging, but if the two of you communicate frequently, openly, honestly, then the uncertainty clears. It sounds like you 2 had a fun start, and time will tell how it ends up. Do the two of you video chat or instant message regularly?

[AgentB]

well, we talk an communicate with each other..

Are you both in a committed relationship? How long have you been in this? You sound like you are just friends waiting for a visit? Again, we cant read his mind and have no idea where he is att.. so ask him

Hi @sasad!

We met in October while I was there in Iceland and kept in touch. I liked him a lot but really wanted to know if there was anything more than just a fling there, so I decided to go back in January/February for 6 weeks. During that time it definitely felt like a committed relationship! We were spending time together pretty much every day and every weekend and we were intimate. We would go out for dates, he bought me a few dinners and also invited me out with his friends, and I met some of his family.

Since I came home we talk pretty much every day, mostly messaging but also lots of photos and sometimes video calls.

I haven't officially called him my boyfriend to his face (even though I do to my friends) but he is sure treating me like a girlfriend and I treat him like a boyfriend. I think I'm afraid to bring up the definitions or ask him because... well.... I always have been afraid of talking about that kind of stuff!

[AgentB]

Welcome!

You get over uncertainty in a long distance relationship the same as you get over it in person. Yes, it can be a little more challenging, but if the two of you communicate frequently, openly, honestly, then the uncertainty clears. It sounds like you 2 had a fun start, and time will tell how it ends up. Do the two of you video chat or instant message regularly?

Hi @Sparkling !

Yes, we've definitely had a lot of fun together. I really really enjoy spending time with him and definitely miss him!

Yes, we chat regularly. Even moreso now since my long visit in Jan/Feb. I feel more solid about things and I think he does too. We talk pretty much every day even if it's just a few short messages! And I was clear about inviting him for a visit to Toronto and he said he would love to. I also expressed interest in going back there in the summer. I've just left it up to him as to when he wants to come here, because it means he has to take time off work.

[Sparkling72]

That's great!! All things grow with time and nurturing

[AgentB]

That's great!! All things grow with time and nurturing

@Sparkling72

Yes, that's true!