Screwed up and want to fix it .....

[Demetri]

Hello everyone i wish i wold of found this site 2 weeks ago.... Im needing some advice i have never done a LDR before and i started talking to a wonderful woman in new jersey and im in indiana.. We have met she came to visit me and my kids twice we seemed like the perfect family . then we started arguing alot i kno the distance was killing me and all i wanted was to have her near me everyday and i kno it got to her as well .. I let things get to me and i accused her of having another man and in my heart i kno it wasnt true we had made plans for her to move in august everything was perfect then this and now she wont talk to me i kno i messed up and it wasnt true but how can i show her that i kno i messed up and really want to fix it and build our lives together ? Im so lost its unreal HELP

[Rezie]

All you can say is that the dstance got to you, apologise and tell her that you trust her. Then it is upto her. Trust is the most important thing in LDR and you told ter she is not trustworthy so could be that she is not willing to give you another chance.

[Arkads]

Give her somedays and then apologize if she doesnt accept then you really cant force or do anything because you accused her of having another man and didnt trust her.

[R&R]

You've accused her of cheating, not because it was true but because of your own insecurity and inability to communicate. It leads me to wonder what your other arguments were about before you accused her of this.

This exact situation happened to me with my ex. I was his first LDR, I went out to visit multiple times and flew him out here once. Then he started getting insecure and jelaous. He'd start little fights here and there about stupid things. It eventually built up to him stating he didn't trust the guys around me and about being faithful. Needless to say, I ended that relationship. No one wants to deal with that and generally it's not just a one-time statement that leads someone to ending the relationship......it's the final straw.

She may talk to you again, she may not. In my situation, about once a year he contacts me and says he's sorry again and I reply telling him to move on and learn from his mistakes. I would say that you need to take this as a lesson learned, truly understand what was done and do some self-reflection.

[Demetri]

Amazing how you jumped right to its my fault without asking what lead up to the fight and fyi it was our first fight i can see this is a place of blame not advice

[R&R]

Amazing how you jumped right to its my fault without asking what lead up to the fight and fyi it was our first fight i can see this is a place of blame not advice

We can only go by the information provided to us.

Actually, I did ask what led up to it , "It leads me to wonder what your other arguments were about before you accused her of this.""

You say this in your first post "then we started arguing alot"
Which contradicts what you now say: it was your first fight.

Blame? Your quotes "I let things get to me and i accused her of having another man","i kno i messed up and it wasnt true"- I think that states why she stopped talking to you and it's pretty clear why.

Advice: Learn from this and move forward from it.

[Rezie]

Amazing how you jumped right to its my fault without asking what lead up to the fight and fyi it was our first fight i can see this is a place of blame not advice

So you ask advise. Later say we didnt ask the right questons. And you yourself said you screwed up and her cheating is not true. People in here give advice and sometimes it's harsh truth. We can only answer based on what what information is written down since we don't know you or your relationship.

[Honour]

We're creatures of judgement. We can be open-minded, and go on what you've written, but no more. You made mistakes and you're paying for them. That's life I'm afraid... now just gotta move on from it all.