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Dealing with unforeseen circumstances

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    Dealing with unforeseen circumstances

    My SO and I have been together for about six months now and we were planning on having me fly to her for a visit next week. Unfortunately due to some crazy stuff in her life it looks like that is no longer going to be possible. Due to her situation it's also a lot harder for her to keep in touch and I've only had very limited time to talk to her the last couple days. We used to talk everyday but since this all has happened it feels like I'm not a priority for her. I understand that she needs to try to get her life back in order and I want to be there for her but the lack of communication makes it hard.
    Luckily I can get the plane ticket money back as travel credit so it is possible to move our visit back a few months.
    Should I wait and see how things look in a few weeks? I'm just overwhelmed with all this and I don't know how I should move forward. Thanks in advance for any help.

    #2
    Whether together or apart, life if always going to have unforeseen circumstances. The best laid plans can be totally changed or dropped due to things that happen. That's just life. It's how you deal with them that makes or breaks a couple.

    You each have to figure out how, as individuals, you deal with upsets in life. Some people prefer to withdraw and handle it on their own while others prefer help from those closest to them. There isn't anything wrong with either of those ways. However, each person needs to understand their partner and be there if they want them to be or to step back if that's what is better. It can be hard when you are a "fixer" or want to be there and your SO is one who likes to handle it alone.

    As an example, I didn't see my SO for 15 months. Due to unforseen circumstances, we were unable to have any visits for awhile. Even after things were cleared up, other visits fell through. Life was happening for one or the other of us. Plans to move to Texas together have been changed 3 times. We adjust to the situations and continue to move forward.

    Flexibility is important. Being able to adjust to circumstances is important. Nothing in life stays consistent. Right now, you'll adjust to less communication. When her situation changes, you may see an increase in it again. The best you can do is be there for her as she needs you and make sure you are living YOUR life and not just waiting for you phone to ring or for a text to pop up.
    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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