2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back

[MushuChicken]

Okay, so if ya'll would like some backstory, you can check out my Intro on the intro forum, or Facebook Freak-Out.

The guy and I have had some deep moments, some lovely moments. Great conversations. A nice video chat with more to come, hopefully. I made myself into one of his dreams once, which in and of itself isn't particularly significant. But, it means that I am, at the minimum on a friend level,in his bubble. It really felt/feels like....we are becoming quite close.

So, today he is talking about wanting to visit a particular place in the States. And, he's going on about...no one from home will come with him. And, he doesn't think he could come on his own. Then, he talks about how he'd like to visit with someone here in the States, and then he can show that person around the UK and France and wherever else. And, internally, I'm screaming, "Ask me, ask me, ASK ME." But...he never does, and he kind of drops the topic. So....I pick it back up. I say, "So you didn't think for a second about someone you might know in the US who could go on this adventure with you?" He sheepishly (or maybe he got caught and was trying to humor me) said "Well, I wanted to ask you." but he didn't want me to feel obligated to something or have to worry about work or have to travel a long way. Now side note, this is the guy that a week and a half ago said maybe I could use my vacation time this year on a trip to Europe....but now, he's worried about my work? Moving on...

Anyway, I was upset because he didn't seem particularly bothered by the idea of us being mere hundreds of miles apart and NOT seeing each other. He saw us meeting as a convenience thing.

The conversation rolled along, and then the idea of me visiting Europe popped into the conversation. We've talked about it before, and now he says something to the effect. "Yeah if you were in the area, I'd want to meet." Just meet. Not spend time together. Not get to know each other. So, at this point, I'm pretty sure he doesn't have feelings for me after all.

But, then after this conversation, we had some more lovely talk. He advised me that I am 1 of 2 people that know certain things about him, have seen certain things about him. He asserted how much he trusts me. BUT...he still hasn't admitted any feelings toward me.

Am I being unreasonable? Oversensitive? Does he maybe not like me like I thought he did? All of the above?

Guys, your opinions count too.

Gals, did you ever reach a point in your pre-LDR where you felt it just probably wasn't going to happen?

[R&R]

We can guess and speculate but the only one who can give you the answers you want is this guy. If you want to know if this friendship has the potential to be more, than ask him what he thinks. It's better to know the other person's thoughts before you get too vested.

Throughout my life, many of my closest friends have been guys. It's possible he only sees you as a good friend and someone he can open up to but has no real feelings other than friendship. All of the signals he's putting out there are only showing friendship and really nothing really romantic. So, I'd say to just ask him.

[autumn1790]

Agreed with R&R. Ask him. Being uncomfortable talking honestly about big issues doesn't bode well for a strong relationship imho.

[MushuChicken]

Thanks ladies for your responses. We spoke early this morning. But nothing was asked/cleared up.

We can guess and speculate but the only one who can give you the answers you want is this guy. If you want to know if this friendship has the potential to be more, than ask him what he thinks. It's better to know the other person's thoughts before you get too vested.

Throughout my life, many of my closest friends have been guys. It's possible he only sees you as a good friend and someone he can open up to but has no real feelings other than friendship. All of the signals he's putting out there are only showing friendship and really nothing really romantic. So, I'd say to just ask him.

Exhale. The idea of broaching this topic with him...or any guy really...makes me a little nauseous.

I totally understand your perspective. I will say there have been some personal things said and moments that I haven't really discussed here that give me a bit of hope that something could be blossoming. But it's a lot of "maybe it means something, maybe it means nothing" stuff.

Again, a lot of it is between us. But I'll give an example. A couple days ago, he told me, I was the only girl he had been talking to.

Again it could be significant. It could mean nothing. It could just mean he has no one else to talk to.

Agreed with R&R. Ask him. Being uncomfortable talking honestly about big issues doesn't bode well for a strong relationship imho.

I get what you're saying. I will say though in our defense... we are two very shy, introverted, socially awkward people. Which can be GREAT because we get each other's personalities in a way most people don't. But yes... it makes talks about the big issues a bit difficult.