Finding Things To Talk About

[PianoGirl25]

My SO and I have been together for over three years now and after talking every day for over three years we kind of ran out of things to say.. How do you keep conversations going? Any tips?

[rache82]

Hi, in addition to being together for four months, my SO and I have known each other for 19 years, so though we always have things to talk about, sometimes, we are in quieter moods where we just simply spend time together over Facetime; We don't feel the need to talk and that silences are awkward. We both realise that as long as we're together each day, we don't have to always say anything; know what I mean?
Just enjoy being there with him; Doesn't always matter if you have quiet patches.
Sometimes my partner and I are just silly - we joke around and say silly things.
Hope it helped.

[Karura]

If it's a call, we don't always talk, we just stay on the call and do our own things while listening to the background noise since that is enough give us some peace, feeling just the presence of the other.
If you mean texts, we don't always have stuff to talk about, true, but besides the usual 'good morning's and 'good night's I occasionally share photos or talk about things that happened that same day. ^^

[Honour]

Maybe reduce the frequency you talk to your SO? A Skype call every other day, instead of everyday? Didn't work for my SO and I but I know some people who did that and it worked for them.

[PianoGirl25]

Thank you all!

[80anthea]

Agree with the others, try talking less but explore other forms of communication: sending stories to each other, voice recording chapters of books. Or try and do things together like cook the same meal at the same time, do an online course together, read the same book etc that way you're not just talking about your days.

[differentcountries]

We dont talk as much as we used to.

SO said this, and I feel it too: there is not much to say. We know each other very well, so we dont talk in order to get to know each other better. Of course we share little snippets of what we are doing, or are planning to do, but that does not take up a whole lot of time. Mostly we do other things.

What we do:¨
send each other emoji (sounds silly, but I really feel loved when he does it)
send each other pictures - a lot of pics about us, but also of people (or animals) that we meet, landscape, the weather and so on
I follow his workplace on Facebook, and they post a lot of pics or videos about food, scenery, music etc. I also follow his ex workplace, and the workplace of several of his mates.
We both post work related stuff on Facebook as well, so we keep track through that. Like, I attended a course and took a pic from it.
For my birhtday, he got a small girl to sing a birthday song to me (in broken English) and recorded it! So cute... Best present ever
We re-read Eleven minutes (the book) a lot, and cry. We like to cry
We love animals and sharing pics of them
We are sometimes political. I especially follow the political situation in his country.
He studies my language. I study his. We sometimes talk together in the other language (usually Turkish, as his Norwegian is very basic) - or just share phrazes. Sometimes we talk a little in German. Mosty, we use English and Turkish.
We comfort each other - he is super good at motivating people, like a personal coach. I am more like a loving Mum to him. He can sulk all he wants to me!
We try to make each other laugh, over silly things. Our humor is very overlapping. We can joke over text like we wood in a room and I know what kind of faces he would make
In the past, we have shared webpage and videos. Like, there is this Turkish humour show that we both like to watch (the Guldur guldur show). If we watch movies we talk about that.
We tell each other we miss each other. A lot
We flirt and give each other compliments or tease each other over silly things...just couple stuff
We sometimes have sex online or share explicit pics (that get deleted right away)
I travel more than him, so I show him travel pics when I can. I have an ulterior motive in making him want to move here lol

For us, just having Skype on does not work for us. I will gladly watch when his job stream from a busy evening and he is in the pic though, but it is just as frustrating as when I visit and dont get any attention!

But we are sometimes just silent over Skype. One of my favs is just looking at him, and looking into his eyes online. For some reason it feels more intimate to do it online, because there is nothing else to do (cant touch) and it can feel very raw and close

[PianoGirl25]

Thank you so much for taking some time to reply. I was very happy to hear about your experience and your relationship and it's very helpful, thank you