Guys... help me understand you!!

[tresdynamiques]

So, I know the courtship period is intense and men like to chase and woo women and all that. I know most of you operate very differently than we do.

My BF and I had our first meeting a little over a week ago and it was perfect. He was perfect to me... he was everything I hoped for and then some. He was affectionate, loving, tender, sensual, and there wasn't a moment I was with him that I didn't FEEL that he loved me.

My question is, do yall get... "comfortable" once you know you've got it in the bag? He's been dealing with some stuff this past week and I know that, but the timing is terrible because he's so quiet. When we do talk, nothing has changed, but I don't know if it's just work/stress/roommate stuff or if he's settled in and doesn't feel the need to talk to me constantly anymore... or, worst case, it was all fake. I have pretty bad anxiety and major trust issues, which he has never balked at whatsoever; he's been nothing but supportive and loving and encouraging. I'm trying to focus on what makes sense but my anxiety is throwing me curveballs. I've lived most of my life believing that men fake emotions and if they don't chase you, they don't want you.

Gentlemen... how did your post-meeting LDRs work out? If you pull away, why do you do it?

[kittyxuchiha11]

Not a guy obviously, but just want to point out that every relationship calms down and gets 'comfortable' in it's own time. In the beginning its very normal to talk lots and lots because you're getting to know each other but after a while that's bound to calm down as well you know each other now and don't feel the need to constantly talk. Just because someone isn't putting in the effort to be there every moment of every day doesn't mean they don't love you or care about you any less. Also, people of course go through busy moments of their life where they don't have much free time, so with a combination of the two i can understand why you might be worried but try not overthink this too much

[VividMind9]

Can't speak for everyone, but it's kind of a balance situation. Think of how draining it would be to constantly chase after someone forever. After a while, it can become draining. One major thing that makes these efforts last is reciprocity. Giving the sane amount of effort you expect to receive. If it's really something you need, I suggest having a conversation with him about reciprocity, and how important that is to you, and then giving what you expect to receive! Of course life situations come into play, stress, etc. However having those guidelines is a great starting point, as it allows you to communicate in ways that are fulfilling to the both of you.

But honestly, every guy is different. As with everyone, we all have our wants & needs in a relationship.

[Chris516]

So, I know the courtship period is intense and men like to chase and woo women and all that. I know most of you operate very differently than we do.

My BF and I had our first meeting a little over a week ago and it was perfect. He was perfect to me... he was everything I hoped for and then some. He was affectionate, loving, tender, sensual, and there wasn't a moment I was with him that I didn't FEEL that he loved me.

My question is, do yall get... "comfortable" once you know you've got it in the bag? He's been dealing with some stuff this past week and I know that, but the timing is terrible because he's so quiet. When we do talk, nothing has changed, but I don't know if it's just work/stress/roommate stuff or if he's settled in and doesn't feel the need to talk to me constantly anymore... or, worst case, it was all fake. I have pretty bad anxiety and major trust issues, which he has never balked at whatsoever; he's been nothing but supportive and loving and encouraging. I'm trying to focus on what makes sense but my anxiety is throwing me curveballs. I've lived most of my life believing that men fake emotions and if they don't chase you, they don't want you.

Gentlemen... how did your post-meeting LDRs work out? If you pull away, why do you do it?

In defense of your SO. You said yourself, that he has been dealing with stuff. So, He definitely isn't thinking about whether it feels 'comfortable', or whether he 'has it in the bag'.

Give him some space, and don't think of hounding him about his lack of communication.