The girl my boyfriend used to like.

[Laika]

Hello, Im writing here because i need an advice on a girl my boyfriend used to like.

My boyfriend used to like This Girl before we started going out.. but after that she told him she loves him, wrote things like if he still had sexual thoughts about her and so on.. (she had told him before all This that she didnt love him and suddenly When we are dating she does)..

My boyfriend stopped talking With her because I felt she would ruin our relationship since she kept texting him (asking if he wanted to skype with her, watch her play games)and she dealing With stuff mentally such as cutting, her saying she wants to kill herself and so on, which made me ask him to because I couldnt handle that..

he Havent spoken to her since This, but since shes in the clan/guild in the game we play I daily have to see her and have to sometimes see her trying to talk to him in game..

The reason why im writing is because I feel insecure With her being in the guild With us and my boyfriend asked if he should ask her to leave, but said no..

Am i being childish? Just keep having a weird feeling in my stomach whenever i see her type in the guild.

[kittyxuchiha11]

Have you asked your boyfriend's opinion on how he feels about her? I assume he told her that he's happily with you and doesn't want to be with her, and if so then your boyfriend has done everything within his power to set things right with her. She obviously sounds like she's going through a really hard time just now, and sure her saying she's going to kill herself, especially if it's to your boyfriend in a way to manipulate him then that's really toxic and not cool at all. It isn't your boyfriends job to stop her doing that, she needs to get professional help obviously, but people who are in these situations often need the support of their friends and as someone who's just looking in on this is seems you've sort of taken that support away from her by telling him not to talk to her. If she's still saying sexual things which are very over the line of friendship then i understand your concern, but if she's just reaching out to him to talk to him as a friend I feel this is a little bit unfair. You shouldn't dictate who your SO talks to, if you both agree she makes you both uncomfortable then you move on and remove her from your game.
Basically, if she's just trying to be his friend then there isn't any real concern is there? If not then you and your SO need to talk about it and decide what to do together. Talk to him about how you honestly feel about this.

[Laika]

Thank you for your reply.
He agreed with me that she would affect our relationship in a bad way because of everything she's going through.

I'm obviously not going to decide who he should talk to and I've made that clear to him that he can still do whatever he wants to obviously, but because of the way she spoke and typed to him then it made me feel uncomfortable and insecure specially since he once really liked her.

I agree that it's unfair of me if she was just going to talk to him as a friend.
'
I asked my boyfriend before if he still had feelings for her which he denied, he sees her just as a friend and nothing more, but because she loves him it makes me uncomfortable when she's been asking if he had sexual thoughts about her etc. (My boyfriend said no and that he was happy together with me and loved me)

The reason I told him to think about whether he should continue talking with her was because of my fear of her being able to manipulate him in a way because of her suicidal thoughts, her cutting which he have once seen some pics of (She had scars there)..

She is currently getting professional help.