Hey guys, I'm not quite sure if this is the right place to post this, but I have been needing to vent lately so here goes.
I am not currently in a relationship at all, but I have been in LDR's before. One in particular though really broke me. She was a American girl I had met on a forum site back in junior high school. She'd come and go fairly often, but whenever we tallked we got along really well. After years and years of talking we opened up to each other more and more, and it got to the point that even though (at the time) we were both in relationships we both knew we cared for each other. We never cheated on our partners or anything though. We both agreed we didn't want that, so nothing happened still for a few more years. Eventually though we both became single at the same time, and we decided to take things further. We started having umm..."adult" webchats and opened up more then we ever did before. But even though we did this we had both agreed we didn't wanted something serious at the time, because we had both just recently gotten out of hard LDRs. That was fine for me at the time.
What wasn't fine for me was what happened after. That period of open intimacy lasted for about 4 months before she found a bf in her town. That would have been ok because of what we had agreed upon, except for she didn't just stop being intimate with me. She stopped interacting with me altogether. Within a month of them being together she ghosted me completely. Just left without a trace. I still have her on fb and other apps and I know she still uses them, because she gets posts and updates and such, but she never replies to me, at all. And it has been this way for over two years now.
I have had other LDRs before her, the others being official and serious with the hope of making them work, and they all ended horribly. And recently I have realized that it has really scared me.
I have a friend in my town who is currently in a LDR with an American, and they are able to see each other during the long weekends (close to the boarder, about half a days drive or so). I also have another friend who moved away from here to be with their SO and got married. Their LDR worked! I know LDRs can work! (Congrats to all the successful ones on here!) But I guess the combination of all the other personal LDRs ended badly (another story for another time), plus this one, with a girl who I had feelings for forever, opened up to and then was abandoned by, I just have trouble opening up to the idea of finding someone online again now. And it sucks because even though I haven't had a successful LDR, I haven't had one in real life either, and the ones I have met through the forms have actually been a better match for me than any I have found online.
I'm also a nerd/gamer, but I don't even like online games much, because I am literally afraid of making a connection with someone and then just having the cycle I have gotten used to happen to me all over again like it did with her.
I guess the point of this rant is me just wondering if I should try to get over this? If I should try to be open to LD love again or if I should just keep trying with local. Again not sure if this is the right place for this, but thanks to anyone who read my rant.
I am not currently in a relationship at all, but I have been in LDR's before. One in particular though really broke me. She was a American girl I had met on a forum site back in junior high school. She'd come and go fairly often, but whenever we tallked we got along really well. After years and years of talking we opened up to each other more and more, and it got to the point that even though (at the time) we were both in relationships we both knew we cared for each other. We never cheated on our partners or anything though. We both agreed we didn't want that, so nothing happened still for a few more years. Eventually though we both became single at the same time, and we decided to take things further. We started having umm..."adult" webchats and opened up more then we ever did before. But even though we did this we had both agreed we didn't wanted something serious at the time, because we had both just recently gotten out of hard LDRs. That was fine for me at the time.
What wasn't fine for me was what happened after. That period of open intimacy lasted for about 4 months before she found a bf in her town. That would have been ok because of what we had agreed upon, except for she didn't just stop being intimate with me. She stopped interacting with me altogether. Within a month of them being together she ghosted me completely. Just left without a trace. I still have her on fb and other apps and I know she still uses them, because she gets posts and updates and such, but she never replies to me, at all. And it has been this way for over two years now.
I have had other LDRs before her, the others being official and serious with the hope of making them work, and they all ended horribly. And recently I have realized that it has really scared me.
I have a friend in my town who is currently in a LDR with an American, and they are able to see each other during the long weekends (close to the boarder, about half a days drive or so). I also have another friend who moved away from here to be with their SO and got married. Their LDR worked! I know LDRs can work! (Congrats to all the successful ones on here!) But I guess the combination of all the other personal LDRs ended badly (another story for another time), plus this one, with a girl who I had feelings for forever, opened up to and then was abandoned by, I just have trouble opening up to the idea of finding someone online again now. And it sucks because even though I haven't had a successful LDR, I haven't had one in real life either, and the ones I have met through the forms have actually been a better match for me than any I have found online.
I'm also a nerd/gamer, but I don't even like online games much, because I am literally afraid of making a connection with someone and then just having the cycle I have gotten used to happen to me all over again like it did with her.
I guess the point of this rant is me just wondering if I should try to get over this? If I should try to be open to LD love again or if I should just keep trying with local. Again not sure if this is the right place for this, but thanks to anyone who read my rant.
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