Going on vacation together? Should we?

[kbch12]

Hi there,

Bit of background; im 23 my boyfriend is 26. We have known each other for 2 years September and he plans to come out end of August for 2.5 or so weeks. He is a huge Disney nerd as am I and he wants to take me and him to DisneyWorld. It'll cost a fair amount for him as im currently unemployed and he'd be paying for it, and would only be for 5 days. I told my Mom today who I am incredibly close with and respect entirely, I was a little nervous about telling her our plans because I was homeschooled, he's my first boyfriend, i've never been away from her for more than 24 hours so I wasnt sure how she would take it.

She was actually great about it although she expressed concerns (which I entirely understand as she's my mother, she wouldnt be a good mother if she wasnt) her main concern is that i've only known him for 3 weeks physically (he's come to me twice) and she herself has only known him for a few days in person. She likes him a lot but obviously I never really thought about that before - she doesnt know him but what I tell her about him and what she has seen of him. If he was a normal boyfriend of 2 years who she would see frequently I dont think she'd worry so much. But I do feel rather guilty. She also made a comment that perhaps he should save that money for the future instead of spending such a lot just for us to go away for a few days and there is no rush. She says shes a bit shocked as it seems too soon as 2 years isnt all that long especially being long distance. I dont feel this to be the case so much as I know him incredibly well and speak to him daily. I think it would be good for us to do something together on our own for a few days?
It's not that we're rushing, if we dont do it this year it may not happen for 2+ years.

What do you think? Should I just put it off and just stick to seeing him at home? As my mom says I am a consenting adult and can do as I please, I just dont want to upset, worry, or hurt her when it's avoidable. Plus maybe he should be saving that money? Although he's only only coming out once this year (as im going back next year and he needs to save his vacation time and we've not seen each other since last November) so he's saving money there I suppose.

We just really want to do this together, have a little holiday away. We've never had that before and it's not some party place, it's Disneyworld and I really want to experience that with him.

Thank you!

[Saralovesjason]

Go to Disney. Make some memories, take lots of pics, I don't think you'll regret it. Your mother raises some interesting points. It's his money, this is how he wants to spend it- on memories with you. Let him. You have great character to listen and respect your mother as you do. Not that going to Disney's defies her, since she very correctly said you're an adult, but you need to do YOU, NOT MOM!

[autumn1790]

At the end of the day, it's your life, you're 23, and you have perfect right to act like the adult you are. And two years is a pretty long time for me....unless there's been major red flags, you should be able to comfortably be alone with your boyfriend of two years. (And if there are things that make you unsure of being alone with him, maybe he's not the dude for you.)
Just curious...did you homeschool through college? Not being away from your mom for more than 24 hours in 23 years of life could seem unhealthy to an outsider...obviously, it's your life, but there's a whole huge world outside the living room. (Btw, I was homeschooled preK-12.)

[Lio]

If I were you, I'd go there. It's a very rare opportunity and it may be a very good experience for your relationship. Also, from what I read, accepting to go there with him won't disappoint or hurt her. It's normal for her to be worried (as long as this is reasonable), but I believe everything will be fine. Good luck to you.

[Moon]

Keep in mind that I'm a parent of a 28 year old.

Yes, absolutely, go! No question about it. I realize that by being homeschooled, you may have been a bit sheltered, but at some point, we ALL go against our parents wishes, and disappoint them a time or two. That's OK, that's what becoming an adult is about; making your own decisions. As much as I don't get the whole Disney thing, you both have the opportunity go do something you love in a relatively safe spot, why in the world wouldn't you do it? His savings aren't really your mom's concern, and you've been together quite long enough to take a short vacation together. I think your mom probably knows this, is being overprotective, but she's not being a jerk about it by outright trying to stop you. These kinds of things can be hard on moms

But, that's your mom's problem, she needs to give you some space, and let you know she isn't upset or hurt (she will worry, it's part of the job, no avoiding that one). Go to Disney and make some wonderful memories together. Things like this are part of what makes LDR worthwhile.

[differentcountries]

If you have never been a long weekend away from your mum, it is about time!

[kittyxuchiha11]

As the others have said, go for it!

To put this into perspective, I'm very close to my mum to the extent that i'd say she's more like a best friend than a mum and i trust her more than anyone in the world. She trusts me just as much which is why of course she worries but she knows i'm grown up and can make my own decisions. From what you've said your mum seems fine about it and her concerns are her only trying to help you both in the future but that really doesn't seem to mean she's against you going at all.

Also as the others have said 2 years is a long time for a relationship and loads of people go on holiday with their SO within a few months of their relationship, so the fact you've been together for 2 years isn't a big deal. In fact, my SO and I have been planning a trip to vegas and were going to be going this March and we'll have been together 2 years this October. It didn't happen in March simply because she got sudden medical bills she had to take care of but we're definitely still planning on going eventually. Basically, you can plan a holiday together no mater how long you've been together as long as you've met and person and known you get on well it's totally fine :3