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Just said our goodbyes

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    Just said our goodbyes

    Hey, I'm new here. And I'm hoping sharing my story and receiving input helps me.
    So my fiancé and I have known each other for 7 years. We've been together for over a year now and LDR for 7 months. We're both originally from MN but he moved to WA last summer. So I'm still in MN and he lives in WA. We have the pleasure of seeing each other every month. Some times for a couple days, other times for a couple weeks.
    Sometimes I wonder if it's more difficult having a long time together because we begin to form a life together then suddenly it's gone. I cherish every moment I have with him. But is it weird that the longer we have together, the harder it is to say goodbye? We've said goodbye 7 times and each time seems to be harder than the last. Every time it's the same old song and dance. The night before we part, I become very sad. I cry and sometimes get angry. I even lashed out at him yesterday when he was only trying to be sweet and loving. I felt horrible.
    My son and I are moving to WA with him in the end of August, and we can finally see the end of this LDR. I know it's almost over and I try to stay positive but no matter how hard I try to do so, I still feel hallow inside when we are apart. I feel half whole and vulnerable. He's very busy with running his own business and I try to give him as much space as he needs. But the first few days are very sensitive and I really feel like I need him. He has high stress with his job. But I don't know how to communicate that I need him without adding to that stress. He works long hours everyday so we can get the money for my son and I to move with him. I'm scared to tell him how I feel because I'm afraid it will start a fight.

    Thanks for reading

    #2
    My advice would be try to focus on things you need to do before you move...and rememeber there is an end date in sight. To be frank, I'm extremely jealous of you....I've met my SO once in the entire duration of our relationship. I know it is hard for you, but it will be over soon, and it will be so worth it! Stay strong!
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      #3
      "Sometimes I wonder if it's more difficult having a long time together because we begin to form a life together then suddenly it's gone. I cherish every moment I have with him. But is it weird that the longer we have together, the harder it is to say goodbye?"
      - No, it is not weird at all. I have spent up to a month together with SO at a time, and those visits are usually followed by a period of that is very hard. I have also like you had periods where we visited every month, and looking back I wonder why that did not feel easier than it did. I did not feel super lucky lol, although I knew I was, especially compared to our last visit when we had to wait almost 1/2 a year.

      "the first few days are very sensitive and I really feel like I need him. He has high stress with his job. But I don't know how to communicate that I need him without adding to that stress. He works long hours everyday so we can get the money for my son and I to move with him. I'm scared to tell him how I feel because I'm afraid it will start a fight."
      -I often try to explain to SO (he is usually more busy than I am the days after I go home) that I miss him by sending him pictures of us. I tell him that I know he is busy, but I just want to tell him, not how much I need him, but how much I appreciated our time together. Sometimes I tell him I am so proud of him. I know he is often tired, so I tell him I wish I was with him to that I could kiss his tiredness away. That is my way of showing him I need him in ways that should not make him feel guilty for working/not having lots of time for me. Because I know he does it for our future I just describe to him what I would do to make him feel at ease if we were together in person.
      Last edited by differentcountries; June 6, 2017, 08:48 PM.
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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        #4
        You wrote: I'm scared to tell him how I feel because I'm afraid it will start a fight.
        But if you two are going to close the distance, you can't be scared of approaching him otherwise this won't work. Relationships are all about honesty.
        Of course you can't do anything, but talking should help and getting it out.
        Hope you can see where I'm coming from.

        Good luck in closing the distance.
        Met Online: 1998
        Relationship began: January 2017

        FIRST MEETING: June 2017
        SECOND MEETING: October 2017

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          #5
          Originally posted by ChrisandAly View Post
          Hey, I'm new here. And I'm hoping sharing my story and receiving input helps me.
          So my fiancé and I have known each other for 7 years. We've been together for over a year now and LDR for 7 months. We're both originally from MN but he moved to WA last summer. So I'm still in MN and he lives in WA. We have the pleasure of seeing each other every month. Some times for a couple days, other times for a couple weeks.
          Sometimes I wonder if it's more difficult having a long time together because we begin to form a life together then suddenly it's gone. I cherish every moment I have with him. But is it weird that the longer we have together, the harder it is to say goodbye? We've said goodbye 7 times and each time seems to be harder than the last. Every time it's the same old song and dance. The night before we part, I become very sad. I cry and sometimes get angry. I even lashed out at him yesterday when he was only trying to be sweet and loving. I felt horrible.
          My son and I are moving to WA with him in the end of August, and we can finally see the end of this LDR. I know it's almost over and I try to stay positive but no matter how hard I try to do so, I still feel hallow inside when we are apart. I feel half whole and vulnerable. He's very busy with running his own business and I try to give him as much space as he needs. But the first few days are very sensitive and I really feel like I need him. He has high stress with his job. But I don't know how to communicate that I need him without adding to that stress. He works long hours everyday so we can get the money for my son and I to move with him. I'm scared to tell him how I feel because I'm afraid it will start a fight.

          Thanks for reading
          My husband and I have been doing this is for five long years. He comes home Friday afternoon, leaves at two am Monday morning. Every Sunday , at dinner time, I get sad. I used to cry every time, but don't anymore. No matter how long you do this, it's HARD. And not normal. But you are in the home stretch. You can do this. Two more months. You should be excited and busy, making plans! You've got this! Good luck!
          sigpic

          I love him. Forever. And every day after that.

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