Money! How! Who! Etc

[erwin1973]

She hasn't been signed in here since shortly after posting, so she hasn't even see the replies yet. I hope she does before she leaves for the trip.

It would make sense to check for any answers about your trip, before you leave.

[Harlequin]

It would make sense to check for any answers about your trip, before you leave.

Not that OP is going to do this, but we've had all sorts of people come here, post something, and then never log in again. It's kinda weird, but it happens.

[erwin1973]

Not that OP is going to do this, but we've had all sorts of people come here, post something, and then never log in again. It's kinda weird, but it happens.

Yeah...

[TaraMarie]

That's mean lol
You don't want him to waste money either.

Yep, it is mean. But I would still do it. He's being worse IMO

[Rezie]

Your posts together have me really worried about you Your SO is being unreasonable and I see you taking on more than you know you reasonably can or should. I think you have every right to be upset with him.

My SO has been unemployed for the past few months and I have a stable job, so it made sense when I offered to pay for the major expenses (hotel, my transportation) and he covered food and incidental costs during our trips. He still paid for his ticket when he came to see me in February and felt really bad that he couldn't contribute more when we met up in a third city. He will be paying for his own ticket when he comes to see me later this year. That's responsibility.

I'm aggravated with your SO for being aggravated! That's not right at all. What is his financial situation like?

This is the key. IN this cace the poster offered. Partner can't assume you will pay. I can't be plannig an awesome roadtrip across europe that I can't afford and sent the bill to my boyfriend saying that he makes more. I have to be prepared to pay my share unless he offers. The trip should be happening now...what did you do?

[Rezie]

Not that OP is going to do this, but we've had all sorts of people come here, post something, and then never log in again. It's kinda weird, but it happens.

This is really annoying. This is one of the most supportive forums out there and I feel somewhat invested and interested in how things work out since most threads seem to be real and not trolled.

[erwin1973]

This is really annoying. This is one of the most supportive forums out there and I feel somewhat invested and interested in how things work out since most threads seem to be real and not trolled.

Still, OP didn't show up any more after posting the question. And we have no idea what she did, if she read it, took advice or not... Annoying as you may find it, fact is that OP didn't respond any more and we have no idea what she did. I find that annoying. She could at least let us know what she was going to do...

[differentcountries]

SO, you make the same amount of money, none of you have much savings, and your SO expects you to pay everything on your visit besides food? Even for parts of his ticket? That sounds very weird.

We usually split things so that I pay about 2/3 and may SO pays 1/3. This is the way we did it when we rented together.
Sometimes I pay expenses, and he does not pay any cash or card, but he/his family/his friends will provide free or discounted place to stay, taxi/transportation, food etc. Sometimes I pay everything. Like when he came here, I payed all his expenses and even gave him pocket money (which he was not that happy about, but I knew he did not have any money as it was months after his seasonal payment).

Money is something we have talked about and that often makes my SO feel bad (not a real man). He has taken on an all year job to earn more/to earn 11 out of 12 months instead of 9. He was in really dire straits last year because he took on a military loan. On my last visit, he payed 90 % of everything except my ticket. I know he really saved up to make that happen and he even chose a place that was not that cheap. I have learned to spend less money/have lower financial expecations so he he can get the feeling of being "the man". I feel we have finally reached some kind of equilibrium when it comes to money. We both realize that we cant afford to see each other as often as before. By using less money we can also pay off debt and save for the future.

I wonder if your SO is not being very truthful about what he earns or how he spends his money, if he is expecting you to pay for most even if that was not the deal up front. If he is short on cash, I would suggest he pays if on his own credit card - for sure it is very rude to expect you to pay until you are almost broke.

[erwin1973]

I don't understand... OP asks a question, and never logs in after that... I just don't understand???

[snow]

I don't understand... OP asks a question, and never logs in after that... I just don't understand???

The trip was on Thursday, it's Sunday. They are most likely hanging out and dealing with this problem in person.

[erwin1973]

Yeah. Probably. Or fighting over it. Or not. Or she didn't go. I'm just curious to know if she ever read all the advice and everything. May be I am too nosey. :P

[Moon]

I don't understand... OP asks a question, and never logs in after that... I just don't understand???

It happens a lot here, try not to make sense of it, it'll just drive you nuts!

[80anthea]

I think sometimes people just need to write stuff down somewhere. They aren't even too bothered by the responses they get, just the process of writing it out in the open can be cathartic and help you problem solve yourself. I don't tend to do it on here but I do journal and sometimes by writing things down it can help me see things aren't as bad as they seem or help me see other solutions.