Hi Everyone,
This is my first time posting here. I really need to know how to go about what I am about to write. My boyfriend lives in VA and me Indiana. We've known each other for 12 years. He's good for the most part, but I cannot understand the lying, especially what he lies about. He hasn't been honest about who he calls---well he is for the most part. I have managed to find a way to get access to his phone records (please don't judge me), and come to find out, he calls his mom after we get through talking, especially since he and her have a close relationship. Yet he lies about not talking to her, every day, when he does. He's lied to me about other small things as well. I am a bit concerned about his lying to me about small things because it is likely he will or is already lying to me about bigger things. I talked to him about his lying about things (not him calling his mom) and he said to be honest with me from now on. That was a week or so ago when we had that conversation because I had caught him in a lie.
We have some sort of history in regards to his mother. 12 years ago when we tried to have a relationship he was in school at the time, and his mother didn't approve of us being together or considered me a distraction back then, so she gave him a ultimatum, saying that he either stop talking to me or he cannot come home, and she will stop paying for his phone (his phone bill was high due to us talking a lot) and other things she bought for him. Well fastforward years later and his mother knows about me now, but he had to hide it from her fearing how she would react if she knew him and I were seeing each other again, much less him coming to visit me. It took him coming to visit me in order for it to be "revealed" to her where he was going, who he was seeing etc. She told him that she wants to meet me and that I must be really important to him for him to come all this way to visit me.
But going back to what I was saying about the phone thing, which brings me to that, he basically keeps from me that he talks to his mother everyday. I have dropped hints that I am sure that's a lie, since when he came to visit me and he didn't tell her, he received an angry text saying that what he did was "disrespectful". I have never been in a situation like this before. Do I confront him about what I know? Is there a more roundabout way to get him to admit what he's lying to me about? Also why would he lie about how often he talks to his mother? I'm sorry if I seem all over the place, but considering the things him and I have gone through and us finally meeting, the last thing I want is us to break up.
Thanks and please do not judge me. I really need support right now.
This is my first time posting here. I really need to know how to go about what I am about to write. My boyfriend lives in VA and me Indiana. We've known each other for 12 years. He's good for the most part, but I cannot understand the lying, especially what he lies about. He hasn't been honest about who he calls---well he is for the most part. I have managed to find a way to get access to his phone records (please don't judge me), and come to find out, he calls his mom after we get through talking, especially since he and her have a close relationship. Yet he lies about not talking to her, every day, when he does. He's lied to me about other small things as well. I am a bit concerned about his lying to me about small things because it is likely he will or is already lying to me about bigger things. I talked to him about his lying about things (not him calling his mom) and he said to be honest with me from now on. That was a week or so ago when we had that conversation because I had caught him in a lie.
We have some sort of history in regards to his mother. 12 years ago when we tried to have a relationship he was in school at the time, and his mother didn't approve of us being together or considered me a distraction back then, so she gave him a ultimatum, saying that he either stop talking to me or he cannot come home, and she will stop paying for his phone (his phone bill was high due to us talking a lot) and other things she bought for him. Well fastforward years later and his mother knows about me now, but he had to hide it from her fearing how she would react if she knew him and I were seeing each other again, much less him coming to visit me. It took him coming to visit me in order for it to be "revealed" to her where he was going, who he was seeing etc. She told him that she wants to meet me and that I must be really important to him for him to come all this way to visit me.
But going back to what I was saying about the phone thing, which brings me to that, he basically keeps from me that he talks to his mother everyday. I have dropped hints that I am sure that's a lie, since when he came to visit me and he didn't tell her, he received an angry text saying that what he did was "disrespectful". I have never been in a situation like this before. Do I confront him about what I know? Is there a more roundabout way to get him to admit what he's lying to me about? Also why would he lie about how often he talks to his mother? I'm sorry if I seem all over the place, but considering the things him and I have gone through and us finally meeting, the last thing I want is us to break up.
Thanks and please do not judge me. I really need support right now.
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