Advice for Dealing with the Tough Days When Loneliness Sets In

[mjbf35018]

Hello All!

This is a general question....like all long distance couples, I have days where I can't stand being apart from my partner. I love him very much and, in general, I've been doing okay with our LDR, which we started about 3 months ago. Most days I'm very content...I'll text him or call him if I'm feeling lonely and I'm able to combat the sadness of being apart fairly well by keeping busy. However, some days are much harder than others, and sadly today has been one of those days. All I can bring myself to do is cry and daydream about when we will be together again...and to make matters more difficult, he is working so I can't reach out to him. I've noticed that these days happen more often when he is busy and I am not, which, of course, is perfectly okay, but it makes it harder because I can't even text him to ask for help.

So, I was wondering how other couples in LDRs combat the "lonely days." Are there any tricks of the trade that help you out in days when the distance is extra challenging to manage?

[Allurial]

Instead of thinking so far head plan little things to do each week when you are both free, even if its only a short Skype date. That way you have something in the near future to focus on rather then daydreaming about something that could be months away. It's great that you have tried to keep busy, that definitely helps out a lot but we all get a couple of rough days here and there. I recommend keeping a journal or writing him letters that you either send or keep to yourself. It'll give you something to do and a way to vent about how you are feeling. Good luck.

[snow]

You have to live your own live and find things you can do when he is busy or else you will just go crazy. Find a hobby, find something you can learn or work on.

What I used to do was go run and work out. This way I actually did something healthy for my body while he was busy. It helped me get my mind off of it and motivated me to do more. I also biked before I moved to a very hilly location. Being outside and breathing some fresh air also helped get a more positive outlook on the distance.

[Harlequin]

I'm one of those people who has a really hard time trying to stop herself from thinking a million years into the future, so I feel like I fall into that daydream a lot. Like the others have said, the trick is to keep busy. Throw yourself into your life and try to focus on the here and now. If you feel like you need to think about the future, find something you can do now that will help you then. I, for example, am looking at online job opportunities to get an idea of what's available, that way I have a plan for when my husband and I close the distance. I also work on finding house listings, sorting through and packing things, and touching up furniture. I make sure to spend time outside, socializing, and just doing things that I enjoy.
There's also nothing wrong with crying it out every now and then. Just don't wallow in your misery, you know?

[Honour]

I usually play video games that occupy my mind. Challenging ones. Or I just play something relaxing that calms me down, and passes the time in the same manner. Helps me forget what I don't want to think about.

[hmrambling]

Are you a student? If yes, go to school. Focus on school.
Are you gainfully employed? If yes, go to work and be present at work.
Have friends? If yes, spend time with them. Enjoy yourself.
Have hobbies? If yes, spend time on your hobbies.
Have family? If yes, spend time with them.
Have interests? If yes, spend time on those things you are interested in.
Have internet? Read about the stages of relationships so that you will be knowledgeable about how relationships grow.
Exercised today? If not, go for a walk or jog or bike ride. Get active.
If you answered no to all of the above, change your life so that you can answer yes to some of these things.

Be a whole person so that you can be a whole person in a relationship. Become a priority and have a great relationship with yourself. Do not rely on your partner to complete you. Be a complete person whose partner is a positive addition to your life.