My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly three years (short two months). He is a diplomat and has been on assignment in Cameroon for nearly half the time we've been together. We've made it work with constant communication and visits (especially on his side--with up to five visits a year). He has less than a year until he returns home.
I am on a similar career path. As I have waited patiently for him and supported him every step of the way, I have been working on my career development. This spring I landed a dream opportunity with the UN to also work in Africa, but in the eastern Horn region. It's temporary for only six months. It's also my first time in the field and my first real professional level position. It would be great leverage for my aspirations and could even help me find a better job when I return home.
As I write to you now, it has been six days since my arrival. My boyfriend had always been super supportive of my career ambitions and my personal development. When I told him of the news, he was excited and proud. He was particularly attentive with the anxiety I was feeling, because although it is a great opportunity, it comes with a lot of uncertainty and risk-taking. I don't intend to be in the field for an extended period (I don't think anyone really does more than a year). We discussed briefly how this would impact our relationship, and he said it work well (even if I extended for another three or six months) as we would probably come home at the same time.
He wanted to visit me before I left, but unfortunately he had a project to finish, and I was kind of being rushed to start my assignment.
Some days before my departure, he totally closed up. I would send texts and messages, but he wouldn't respond. I sent pics of my new haircut and my send-off parties, but he didn't say anything. He never even checked on me in the days leading up to the departure, not even to see how I was feeling. I found this very strange, but I didn't mention it to him then.
On my day of departure, I sent him a text to let him know I was en route to the airport and that I had packed up the place I was leaving behind. No response.
Mixed with so many emotions that day, I called him a jerk out of anger, just before the plane took off. I didn't really tell him why, but maybe he knew.
Since my arrival, I have been experiencing what is perhaps the most challenging time of my life--having to adapt to the extremely hot climate, being in a remote and underdeveloped environment, being in a place where I don't know anyone, and also tackling the demanding duties of the job. It's only been six days, but it feels like a month! I yearned for him. I wanted my best confidant to be there for me. I am still having to cope with the stress of life right now plus not having him around.
Amidst this stress and feelings of abandonment, I had been sending these mean texts to him--actually accusing him of chasing other women (using that as an excuse for him dropping off the radar and being MIA--note: we broke up very briefly last year and he jumped into a brief rebound relationship, after which he apologized to me) and wasting my time these past three years. I was just so angry--the person I wanted and needed the most wasn't there. The more I wanted him and the more I felt I needed him, the more anxious I got and the more I would send out these messages to him.
This obviously pushed him away. Without even replying to my words, without offering an explanation for his behavior, he blocked me in almost every way possible--on the phone, on WhatsApp, on Skype, and on Facebook. I feel helpless now.
Is he just angry? Is he hurt? Is he legit being shady? Is he scared that we won't be able to work with the new dynamics?
I didn't mean what I said. Deep down I'm sorry.
What do I do now? Will he eventually unblock me? What is he thinking? Is he really willing to completely cut me off like that?
My birthday is next Friday and it was always a special day for both of us. I can't think how I would enjoy that day or get by emotionally in the next six months, knowing he has severed me from his life.
It's cruel on his part to completely cut me off, knowing I am facing one of the most challenging times of my life. I want to make amends though. I want to have him there again. I still hang on to dreams of our future together.
Should I just give him (and myself) room to breathe? It's with that, I get anxious that if I give him time, he will completely forget about me and move on.
What's your take and what can I do?
Thanks in advance.
I am on a similar career path. As I have waited patiently for him and supported him every step of the way, I have been working on my career development. This spring I landed a dream opportunity with the UN to also work in Africa, but in the eastern Horn region. It's temporary for only six months. It's also my first time in the field and my first real professional level position. It would be great leverage for my aspirations and could even help me find a better job when I return home.
As I write to you now, it has been six days since my arrival. My boyfriend had always been super supportive of my career ambitions and my personal development. When I told him of the news, he was excited and proud. He was particularly attentive with the anxiety I was feeling, because although it is a great opportunity, it comes with a lot of uncertainty and risk-taking. I don't intend to be in the field for an extended period (I don't think anyone really does more than a year). We discussed briefly how this would impact our relationship, and he said it work well (even if I extended for another three or six months) as we would probably come home at the same time.
He wanted to visit me before I left, but unfortunately he had a project to finish, and I was kind of being rushed to start my assignment.
Some days before my departure, he totally closed up. I would send texts and messages, but he wouldn't respond. I sent pics of my new haircut and my send-off parties, but he didn't say anything. He never even checked on me in the days leading up to the departure, not even to see how I was feeling. I found this very strange, but I didn't mention it to him then.
On my day of departure, I sent him a text to let him know I was en route to the airport and that I had packed up the place I was leaving behind. No response.
Mixed with so many emotions that day, I called him a jerk out of anger, just before the plane took off. I didn't really tell him why, but maybe he knew.
Since my arrival, I have been experiencing what is perhaps the most challenging time of my life--having to adapt to the extremely hot climate, being in a remote and underdeveloped environment, being in a place where I don't know anyone, and also tackling the demanding duties of the job. It's only been six days, but it feels like a month! I yearned for him. I wanted my best confidant to be there for me. I am still having to cope with the stress of life right now plus not having him around.
Amidst this stress and feelings of abandonment, I had been sending these mean texts to him--actually accusing him of chasing other women (using that as an excuse for him dropping off the radar and being MIA--note: we broke up very briefly last year and he jumped into a brief rebound relationship, after which he apologized to me) and wasting my time these past three years. I was just so angry--the person I wanted and needed the most wasn't there. The more I wanted him and the more I felt I needed him, the more anxious I got and the more I would send out these messages to him.
This obviously pushed him away. Without even replying to my words, without offering an explanation for his behavior, he blocked me in almost every way possible--on the phone, on WhatsApp, on Skype, and on Facebook. I feel helpless now.
Is he just angry? Is he hurt? Is he legit being shady? Is he scared that we won't be able to work with the new dynamics?
I didn't mean what I said. Deep down I'm sorry.
What do I do now? Will he eventually unblock me? What is he thinking? Is he really willing to completely cut me off like that?
My birthday is next Friday and it was always a special day for both of us. I can't think how I would enjoy that day or get by emotionally in the next six months, knowing he has severed me from his life.
It's cruel on his part to completely cut me off, knowing I am facing one of the most challenging times of my life. I want to make amends though. I want to have him there again. I still hang on to dreams of our future together.
Should I just give him (and myself) room to breathe? It's with that, I get anxious that if I give him time, he will completely forget about me and move on.
What's your take and what can I do?
Thanks in advance.
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