Chatting terms - need input guys.

[SimplyComplicated]

Hi guys need ur help.
Is it normal for ur SO to be online but not chatting with u?
I mean he will always chat with me in the morning and at night.
But in beetween sometimes he is online but not chatting with me, is it normal and im being paranoid or what?
Eventho afterthat he sometimes explain like I was online but busy or I was online talking to my fam.
And one more question we always chat in the morning and at night, and sometimes till late his time and I usually remind him to go to sleep and he said okay ill go now but sometimes (rarely) I will see him online till late after he told me he is going to sleep, but again if I ask him about that he will explain to me and sometimes he even showed proof but nowaday I told him to not sent proof.
Can I really trust him? Or is it only me being paranoid?

[R&R]

Hi guys need ur help.
Is it normal for ur SO to be online but not chatting with u?
I mean he will always chat with me in the morning and at night.
But in beetween sometimes he is online but not chatting with me, is it normal and im being paranoid or what?
Eventho afterthat he sometimes explain like I was online but busy or I was online talking to my fam.
And one more question we always chat in the morning and at night, and sometimes till late his time and I usually remind him to go to sleep and he said okay ill go now but sometimes (rarely) I will see him online till late after he told me he is going to sleep, but again if I ask him about that he will explain to me and sometimes he even showed proof but nowaday I told him to not sent proof.
Can I really trust him? Or is it only me being paranoid?

Just because our SO is online doesn't mean they are there to talk to us. They may be playing games, chatting with friends, or just be online but not actually near their phone/computer. My laptop is always up and running when I'm home but I'm not near it all the time. It's important to realize that our SO's have lives outside of the relationship (as we should too) and stop reading into things that aren't there. Don't become your own worst enemy.

[SimplyComplicated]

Being online I mean on whatsapp

[erwin1973]

Me too. I do have a phone, computer and laptop. Usually, all three are up and running 24/7, meaning I am online always. But I still have my own life, writing articles for a Formula 1-website, composing music, going to see my son, going to buy me my food, have breakfast / lunch / dinner, reading a book, watching a movie... Oh, and I sleep, too, sometimes. I have my own life, too, you know, and so does my lady. We have fixed times where we chat with each other. Sometimes I see my lady pop up online on a different time. So what, if she needs to chat with her sister, why should I interrupt? Or may be she is just checking the time. Who knows? Or helping her daughter with her assignments for school and looking up something on Google. Should I get anxious? No, why? She has her own life, too. Oh, and yes, I know I can be pretty jealous, and I have a abandonment anxiety. But I also can think straight, knowing that she loves me (I see that, I feel that) and I do realize she has her own life too. And no, I am not checking her all the time, if she is really off-line while we don't chat. That is creapy, in my opinion. And yes, sometimes when I say I want to go sleep, it takes me a while before I really am in bed. Or I put on some relaxing music on my phone - meaning it's on, and thus I am online.

[kittyxuchiha11]

Me too. I do have a phone, computer and laptop. Usually, all three are up and running 24/7, meaning I am online always. But I still have my own life, writing articles for a Formula 1-website, composing music, going to see my son, going to buy me my food, have breakfast / lunch / dinner, reading a book, watching a movie... Oh, and I sleep, too, sometimes. I have my own life, too, you know, and so does my lady. We have fixed times where we chat with each other. Sometimes I see my lady pop up online on a different time. So what, if she needs to chat with her sister, why should I interrupt? Or may be she is just checking the time. Who knows? Or helping her daughter with her assignments for school and looking up something on Google. Should I get anxious? No, why? She has her own life, too. Oh, and yes, I know I can be pretty jealous, and I have a abandonment anxiety. But I also can think straight, knowing that she loves me (I see that, I feel that) and I do realize she has her own life too. And no, I am not checking her all the time, if she is really off-line while we don't chat. That is creapy, in my opinion. And yes, sometimes when I say I want to go sleep, it takes me a while before I really am in bed. Or I put on some relaxing music on my phone -meaning it's on, and thus I am online.

I agree with Erwin here, the bolded part especially. The thing about the world today is we are always using technology and with messaging apps like whatsapp and such even if we just turn on our phones to check something quickly it will say we are online. I had this problem with a few of my exes actually where I would go out or be busy but still use my phone for even simple things like checking the time and then later on my partner would get annoyed at me and ask why i wasn't talking to them, I was online so I should talk to them is how they saw it. With my recent ex in fact I would stream games and because i was getting notifications on my phone and unlocking my phone to clear them it would say i was online and I would get very angry messages from her when i finally did go back online hours later saying that she should be more important than streaming games and i should have spent that time talking to her since i was technically 'online'. It's very important to live your own life and have your own space in a relationship, you guys seems to have morning and evenings set as your times to talk, so go with that, try not to think too much about it if you see him online at other times because that is his time to do what he wants. Best of luck! :3

[differentcountries]

Being online is just like having your phone turned on. It does not mean that the person in available to be in touch with you. I know that for SO, he uses his smart phone to take pictures and videos to post on his job's page on Facebook. He uses it to play games, or to check out some betting stuff that he does (nothing big, just national lottery or football bets). He listens to music and he calls or texts his family and friends. I want him to do all of that. I want him to fix his job, use whatever he needs to soothe himself and be social. He also has an erratic job (even if his hours are pretty set for a Turkish job), and I know that his boss can make him do things at pretty much any time. He is also very tired this time of year. I assume that he is doing something constructive if he does not contact me. I dont spy on him. I trust him to do whatever he needs to do, and that when he has time and feels like it, he will talk to me. We usually text in the morning before he goes to work, during his dinner break and after his shift. I also assume he can sometimes see that I am online but not available to him for various reasons. Sometimes I am tired in ways that make me comfortable doing something online, but not to talk to him. If you worry that your SO does not get enough sleep, you may address it, but try not to focus so much on his online habits. He is allowed to have his own life.

[SimplyComplicated]

Is it also normal tho for him to like & add a lot of girls pic in instagram and fb? He loves travel and he has a lot of friends tho? Most of them are travelers or bloger

[Honour]

Is it also normal tho for him to like & add a lot of girls pic in instagram and fb? He loves travel and he has a lot of friends tho? Most of them are travelers or bloger

Why would it be abnormal? You are becoming your own worst enemy like R&R said earlier. Stop being so paranoid and just chill. Or you're gonna end up ruining your relationship.

[erwin1973]

Is it also normal tho for him to like & add a lot of girls pic in instagram and fb? He loves travel and he has a lot of friends tho? Most of them are travelers or bloger

I agree with Honour here, and with R&R.

BTW, countering your question: is it normal for you to spy on him 24/7? Would you like it if he did that?
I'm sorry to say, but you act like a 12 year old.

[SimplyComplicated]

Btw he did that too tho, but he is less crazy then me.
Thanks for ur reply

[erwin1973]

Btw he did that too tho, but he is less crazy then me.
Thanks for ur reply

"He did it, so I can do it". That's child-speech. Are you?

[R&R]

Btw he did that too tho, but he is less crazy then me.
Thanks for ur reply

You are 29 years old - not 13. If he did it and you do it - honestly, you both are NOT ready to be in any sort of a commited relationship with anyone. Relationships take trust and honesty, apparently which is not an active part of this one. You will never be in a healthy, adult, functional relationship if you continue on the path you are currently on.

[SimplyComplicated]

Thanks guys for the advice and input.
Since this my first relationship I needed it all the advice and input.
And yes I maybe acted to childish or insecure cos he is really really important.
Turn out he is going back to routine after graduated master and a long holiday and travel, and he is the person to be selfish to the one he cares so sometimes he closed himself when he is busy and tired.
But he was there when I need him the most eventho he was busy or tired.
So I think its only my insecure and trust issue acting up.

Thank so much guys
Best of luck for everyone

[erwin1973]

Since this my first relationship I needed it all the advice and input.

Practice makes perfect. And I want to apologize for my previous behaviour.

And yes I maybe acted to childish or insecure cos he is really really important.

Luck is like loose sand in your hand. The more you squeeze your hand to hold it, the more it's going to spill away. In other words: give each other space and you'll both be more happy.

Turn out he is going back to routine after graduated master and a long holiday and travel, and he is the person to be selfish to the one he cares so sometimes he closed himself when he is busy and tired.

Is he selfish? Or has he learned to take care of himself? That is a difference, though if you're to clingy, it might give you the idea of being the same. Mind: I don't know, I just ask.

But he was there when I need him the most eventho he was busy or tired.

That sounds very positive. That means you're important to him.

So I think its only my insecure and trust issue acting up.

That is something you have to work on. See my previous remark about the sand.

I wish you good luck.