advice please

[erwin1973]

Initiate.

[snow]

Well, here's a perspective.

What if he really does get consumed by his art and he needs a wake up call to get out of it?

What makes me say this is that as soon as you text him, he texts you back. So why don't you just text him? Like, I don't understand the issue. If he was ignoring you, it'd be different, because then he chooses something else over you, but what if he REALLY does get busy? I mean, I don't know. I just feel like if he is good about responding, why don't you message him more often?

My husband was VERY seldom the first person to initiate contact. Each day I had to send him a message. He would not be the first and to this day, 9 out of 10 times, I text him first, but I would not let it become days before I texted him because I wanted the connection too. You can want your SO to be as involved as you, but it might be a personality thing.

Maybe I am too optimistic (husband has been super sweet all day ) but I just feel like you are playing games and that's never healthy.

[erwin1973]

I didn't look at it from that point of view, actually.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Well, here's a perspective.

What if he really does get consumed by his art and he needs a wake up call to get out of it?

What makes me say this is that as soon as you text him, he texts you back. So why don't you just text him? Like, I don't understand the issue. If he was ignoring you, it'd be different, because then he chooses something else over you, but what if he REALLY does get busy? I mean, I don't know. I just feel like if he is good about responding, why don't you message him more often?

My husband was VERY seldom the first person to initiate contact. Each day I had to send him a message. He would not be the first and to this day, 9 out of 10 times, I text him first, but I would not let it become days before I texted him because I wanted the connection too. You can want your SO to be as involved as you, but it might be a personality thing.

Maybe I am too optimistic (husband has been super sweet all day ) but I just feel like you are playing games and that's never healthy.

I don't think she is playing games. Having to always initiate the convo makes me feel like the other person is answering just to be nice (my LD ex would answer just to be nice, as I found out after he told me he wasn't happy in the relationship). Personally I feel like if the person really cares about you, they will initiate as well. I don't see initiating through a personality perspective because if I see that my communication is one sided for the most part, the guy isn't super interested. Granted everyone is different, but it seems like the habits in the relationship have changed. I'm sure your husband didn't just stop initiating suddenly, so you got into that routine. If your SO and you are evenly initiating, then they stop, that is a red flag.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Super stupid. He even change his dp on whatsapp and posted a status but he never texted me for 3days now. That's it. I don't want to text him. I want to talk with him with this issue but I think it's useless. I just have to move on and be happy.

Not texting for three days (barring an accident or emergency) is unacceptable.

[jen.me]

Well, here's a perspective.

What if he really does get consumed by his art and he needs a wake up call to get out of it?

What makes me say this is that as soon as you text him, he texts you back. So why don't you just text him? Like, I don't understand the issue. If he was ignoring you, it'd be different, because then he chooses something else over you, but what if he REALLY does get busy? I mean, I don't know. I just feel like if he is good about responding, why don't you message him more often?

My husband was VERY seldom the first person to initiate contact. Each day I had to send him a message. He would not be the first and to this day, 9 out of 10 times, I text him first, but I would not let it become days before I texted him because I wanted the connection too. You can want your SO to be as involved as you, but it might be a personality thing.

Maybe I am too optimistic (husband has been super sweet all day ) but I just feel like you are playing games and that's never healthy.

Well that is your opinion and I respect that but I'm not playing games here. It's just that the feeling of always initiating a conversation make you feel that your SO doesn't have a care for you. Yah I understand that he is busy but is it always like that? every minute, every hour, everyday? that he has no time to check on you? If you are still alive or what? Lol

[snow]

Well that is your opinion and I respect that but I'm not playing games here. It's just that the feeling of always initiating a conversation make you feel that your SO doesn't have a care for you. Yah I understand that he is busy but is it always like that? every minute, every hour, everyday? that he has no time to check on you? If you are still alive or what? Lol

You know your SO better than me. I just feel like if you are the one to initiate, why don't you?

Like I said, I am 99% of the time the one who initiates and if I wanted to play games when we were still LD, I could have waited and seen how long it would have taken for him to message me first, but why? I wanted to talk too, so I messaged him first. It's just silly to not initiate a conversation if everything is great afterwards.

You do you, just playing devil's advocate here.

[jen.me]

I don't think she is playing games. Having to always initiate the convo makes me feel like the other person is answering just to be nice (my LD ex would answer just to be nice, as I found out after he told me he wasn't happy in the relationship). Personally I feel like if the person really cares about you, they will initiate as well. I don't see initiating through a personality perspective because if I see that my communication is one sided for the most part, the guy isn't super interested. Granted everyone is different, but it seems like the habits in the relationship have changed. I'm sure your husband didn't just stop initiating suddenly, so you got into that routine. If your SO and you are evenly initiating, then they stop, that is a red flag.

Thanks!
I already texted hin yesterday but never got the chance to talk for long since he was about to sleep since his been tired on the hospital all day taking care of his mom who got an infection.

I texted him a few hours later, its morning by then there just to say good morning, he did reply and send me a video as always of him doing this
🙈🙊🙈🙊🙈🙊, it's cute

I don't know if I should bring this issue now. It seems ok and normal between us but something is strange. He didn't say sorry for not texting me like he used to before.

[NewToLongDistance2016]

Thanks!
I already texted hin yesterday but never got the chance to talk for long since he was about to sleep since his been tired on the hospital all day taking care of his mom who got an infection.

I texted him a few hours later, its morning by then there just to say good morning, he did reply and send me a video as always of him doing this
, it's cute

I don't know if I should bring this issue now. It seems ok and normal between us but something is strange. He didn't say sorry for not texting me like he used to before.

I really hope everything works out. Keep an eye on his behavior.