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Advice Needed - To called of the engagement or not?

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    #1

    Advice Needed - To called of the engagement or not?

    hi guys,

    i need ur advice,

    its actually not my problem,it happen to my bro and his fiance.

    they met 4 years back on fb,and just say hi and bye.

    last year they met for the first time and after that they just clicked.they got engaged this january and their wedding will be next month.

    a long the way ,the girls mother is trying very hard to make my bro move to their city,but from the first before they engaged my bro always said to them that the girl have to move with him to our hometown which they aggreed to it.so she tried many ways to make him move and this make him irritated.last june he already cut off the engagement but girl side with all their promises and sorries make the engagement on again.with my bro ultimatum that after this no more stupid stunt to make him move there and the girl have to resign from her work by the end of july.(the girl is workaholic and very ignorant).
    and the girl didnt do it,she said she cant leave the job now she will leave near the day of her wedding,and the girl also said her mom didnt allowed her to prepare all the moving paper now.
    and this stunt again make him tired of her and what to cut off the engagement for sure.
    ive been trying persuade him to think about it.but his answer still no.
    me personally thing its a small mater that they can talk about it.
    and we all the big famillies spent so much already booke tickets,hotels,invitation has be sent.but still for him is a big no!!

    what do u guys think,is it really right to called off the engagement,is there no other way to save it?

    please help me guys
    thanks before
    Tags: longdistancerelationship, wedding day
    #2
    As far as I can understand what you are trying to tell (I have real difficulties understanding what you write, sorry) her mother is opposing to the wedding and moving out of her daughter, am I right? To the point that your brother has had enough.

    Well, if he has had enough, and he doesn't want anymore, you can't make him, can you? Do you want him to get married against his will, then? And get a devorce not long after? You can't make people stay in a relationship if they don't want to. You can do nothing. Sorry to say so.
    Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

    Comment

      #3
      Shes not opposed about the wedding but she kinda tricky.
      She's the one who said yes about my bro tho.

      Yeah I wanted him to be happy, I dont want to force him also.

      But in my opinion I thought that they can save the wedding tho

      Comment

        #4
        Apperently your opinion and your brothers are not the same.
        I understand you want him to be happy, but I guess he diceded he's not going to be happy with her. Sad as it is for everyone and all the work that is done.
        Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

        Comment

          #5
          The person who moves will always have to make the biggest sacrifice. Some well established couples can fall apart over not talking this part through. As well as the person moving being on board in a way, their family must at least know that they will be moving. Not all families will take the news well but ultimately it's up to the person in the relationship. Did the mother know her daughter was going to move? Or did she just assume he'd move over to be with her daughter after the wedding? Some parents don't want to lose their kids and will try and convince them to stay. I guess they need (your brother and her) need to talk this out. Either a compromise is made or they call it off. Sadly, weddings fall through all the time. You can tell your brother what to do maybe just encourage him to talk to her about all of this. Hope it goes ok

          Comment

            #6
            Sure it can be saved, but I don't see that it is really your problem to worry about. The two folks involved in the relationship need to hash it out.

            Are you from the US? Your messages are netspeak and can be hard to read.

            Comment

              #7
              Originally posted by Redheart14 View Post
              The person who moves will always have to make the biggest sacrifice. Some well established couples can fall apart over not talking this part through. As well as the person moving being on board in a way, their family must at least know that they will be moving. Not all families will take the news well but ultimately it's up to the person in the relationship. Did the mother know her daughter was going to move? Or did she just assume he'd move over to be with her daughter after the wedding? Some parents don't want to lose their kids and will try and convince them to stay. I guess they need (your brother and her) need to talk this out. Either a compromise is made or they call it off. Sadly, weddings fall through all the time. You can tell your brother what to do maybe just encourage him to talk to her about all of this. Hope it goes ok
              Her parents knows before they got engaged tho. That she need to move

              Comment

                #8
                Originally posted by hmrambling View Post
                Sure it can be saved, but I don't see that it is really your problem to worry about. The two folks involved in the relationship need to hash it out.

                Are you from the US? Your messages are netspeak and can be hard to read.
                Its not my problem ya but its kinda worried me cos they r asking for advice.

                Im asian

                Comment

                  #9
                  Tell him that moving away is hard for everyone and that he needs to have a honest, open-minded conversation with her. Instead of going "no way I won't move", ask their reasoning for it and why do they have such a hard time. Then solve it together if it's something solvable. If not, talk mutually about calling it off instead of your brother just doing it.

                  There's nothing wrong in being afraid to move or in leaving your job, etc.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    hi guys,
                    told my bro about the advices above.he sat with her fiance and talk abouit it.
                    the result is wedding still on.

                    thanks for alway gving advices and courage
                    all the best for all

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Did they decide on who is going to move?

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Yes the girl is going to move

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Thanks for the update

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