This site is exactly what i needes. My boyfriend of 6 months and i just started this long distance thing. Im in california and he just moved to dubai 1.5 months ago for a new job. Ive been feeling really sad lately.again. this past week its more heartbreak because i miss him so much. Basically we just text but i got him to call me last week for the first time since he moved..but that was only for 5 minutes due to work. I asked him on sunday if we could Skype because i missed him and i just felt its was gonna be "that week of " of just pure sadness. He said sure, but now its friday and we havent skyped. He is constantly hanging with his new "buddies" and i feel he should be able to make time to video chat his girlfriend for an hour. I didnt hear from him until today (friday) when i texted him hi after i woke up crying cuz i just miss him too much. How do i express my real feelings to him without coming off needy or making him feel like theres a major issue. I have all these discouraging thoughts in my head that i cant help. I just miss him and that turns into "is he faithful, he's drinking with his new friends,whats gonna happen..etc" he seems to be doing just fine over there while im the emotional wreck, but i tell him im fine cuz i dont want to come off weak. Ive cried twice in front of him about this move. Should i tell him how i really feel or stick with the im fine, which he seems to by or he just doesnt want to deal with the issue. Cuz i honestly dont know how he feels. I told him i loved him and he said "thank you". I didnt expect him to say it back, but he's been gone for 1.5 months now and i dont know how he feels now. I asked if me saying i love you was appreciated or not, he said he would get back to me. He never did. He was the one that said communication is important and we can talk about anything, but whenever i bring up feelings i feel like he sidesteps the issue.I dont know what to do..my mind is spiralling out of control with worry. Any input would be appreciated.
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"He's just not that into you." I hate to tell you, but when you tell someone you love them and they say "Thank you," it means he doesn't love you back. If he missed you, he would call and he would break his neck to Skype with you. Men make time for what's important to them. No, he's not a wreck because he doesn't care as much for you as you do for him. Want some advice? Let him wonder what YOU are doing for a change. Do not text him. Do not call him. DO NOT tell him you love him or bring it up again. If he cares, he will contact you. Do NOT make first contact. Relationships are sometimes like a dance. You move forward, he moves back. You move back, he moves forward. Let's see if he moves forward now. Let us know what happens. -
I agree with alecat to a degree. I wouldn't necessarily think it means outright he doesn't return your feelings for him, but I would take his every action with a pinch of salt. Some people can be fine close distance, then moving long distance can totally wreck a relationship, because it's not for everyone. I would do what alecat suggests, and see if he puts in the effort to contact you. If not... then you'll have your answer for sure.Comment
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You say he's drinking - I suppose you refer to alcohol - and he's in Dubai.
I happen to know (i.e. I just looked it up) that to buy and drink alcohol in Dubai, you need to have a license for that. I reckon it's not cheap, either.
For the rest I go with Alecat14 and Honour.
Distance means nothing when someone means everything.
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How long is he going to be in Dubai? Have you guys talked about how you'll get back together? If he hasn't at least mentioned it, that really makes me wonder how much he wants this relationship...sigpicComment
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Foreigners can drink in hotels and private clubs without a license. Buying alcohol to take home you need the card.Originally posted by erwin1973 View Post
Anyways, when moving to a new place it is new and exciting and it's easy to get wrapped up in that. The one staying at home doesnt get the new and therefore it feels different. My advice is to build your own independent life. Get a hobby, meet new people and let him miss you. Don't send love dovey texts, tell him all the awesome new things you do. If his communication doesnt get better then you have your answer. If he wants to be in contact and call you then he would do that. Saying thank you after an I love you doesnt sound promising.
Has he gone there for a set amount of time or forever? What type of relationship agreement did you do?Comment
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Honour, I did not say he had NO feelings for her. I said he did not love her. I'm sure he has some feelings for her, but if she keeps acting the way she is, she will kill any feelings he has. If he cares, he will show it as long as she takes a step back and makes him work for it. Men do not like things that come too easy. Make the man work a little and keep some mystery.Originally posted by Honour View PostComment
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I can't even.... I agree with taking a step back but in my opinion it has nothing to do with being too easy or mystery. I personally think that taking a step back will give him time to think. Moving abroad itself is an adjustment and then adjusting to LDR. So taking a step back will give him time and space to think and her time to build her own life and not be thinking about him all the time. I don't agree with this cosmopolitan article type evaluation about men. After 6 months you don't play games. Adults call someone if they want to and settle in their relationship if they want to be in one.Originally posted by alecat316 View PostComment
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What I said was MY opinion and my thoughts, not yours. I said I merely agreed with some of what you said, it did not mean I was referring to what you'd originally said. Kindly re-read what I said before making assumptions. And I have to say I agree with Rezie, I find your generalisation about men a little stupid. Not everyone is like that, and not everyone wants "some mystery." Some people prefer to be told straight up. Don't assume everyone is the same, because they're not.Originally posted by alecat316 View PostComment
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May be I am not a man, then? Though, last time I checked I was.Originally posted by alecat316 View Post
I don't like generelazitions... They can be very offensive.Distance means nothing when someone means everything.
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Do the mystery thing with Nordic men. You'll get far
Really far
Last edited by C.C.; August 20, 2017, 08:42 AM. Reason: I know not all of them are like that. Just many many of them and it's a funny comparison.Comment
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