Feeling angry, jelous, and upset that my so will visit her friend instead of me

[chanceatlove68]

do I have a right to feel this way? We have been together for over a year and she has come to visit me twice but next month she will go to visit her best friend and we have to wait until march next year to meet again. Every time she brings this up i start to feel upset and jealous but I havent said anything about it. I guess I just want to vent

[R&R]

do I have a right to feel this way? We have been together for over a year and she has come to visit me twice but next month she will go to visit her best friend and we have to wait until march next year to meet again. Every time she brings this up i start to feel upset and jealous but I havent said anything about it. I guess I just want to vent

It's important to realize that just because we are in a relationship that this doesn't mean that we don't maintain our friendships with others. I haven't see my SO since last November. Last week, I drove 6 hours each way to go visit a friend of mine for 4 days. If my SO got upset because I choose to maintain friendships, even long distance friendships, our relationship would not last.

Why don't you find something for you to do during that time? Spend time with your friends; especially ones that you may not have seen in awhile. Take this time to do some things for you while she does things for her. It's important to maintain your individuality. She must be very excited to see her friend and that is something that you can be supportive of because you love her. Don't make this about you or your relationship because it's not - it's about her having some time with her best friend.

[Allurial]

You say she has come to visit you twice, have you gone to visit her? If it's a best friend she rarely gets to see it's understandable to want to spend time together I often choose my best friend over my boyfriend simply because she has been in my life longer and I don't get to see her at all once school starts. It's normal to feel upset over the fact that you won't be able to see her but unless you two had concrete plans that she was going to visit you then its honestly her choice what she does.

[chanceatlove68]

Thank you for the responses. She has seen this friend only 2 weeks ago but she just left to study in another country. I guess for me I have no friends and no social life so I just focus on her. In my mind if I would travel it would only be to see her. I guess I just focus on my own feelings

[Rezie]

I personally think that you are entitled to feel however you want. It's just how you handle the feeling. You may feel hurt but before saying anything outloud or showing her you are upset you should think about it.

She is entitled to have friends, she wants to spend time with them. Friends are important and LDR partner shouldn't be the only social contact. So if you really think about it then yiu might see that what she is doing is healthy. As for you. Try to meet new people and make new friends. Get a hobby

[Sakuu4]

I also went to America to see a friend of mine that I hadn't see since one month only, but I wouldn't say "instead" of visiting my so. That is something that I would have done regardless and it was not only to see this friend, but also to see a new place and a country where I never was before. So maybe she is doing it for the whole experience too and not "only" to meet someone.

Also, did you talk about who is/where are you gonna move eventually when you close the distance? Maybe she thinks that this is one of the only occasion she will have to go there :/

[Honour]

I have a dear friend in Germany who I'm planning to visit next year before Brexit takes place. Because of what's been personally happening between me and my SO and for reasons out of our control, I've prioritised to go and see him for a good few weeks to meet for the first time. My friend and I will meet after I've been to see my SO. Again, I wouldn't say I'd go and visit my friend "instead" of my SO, it's just that circumstances have changed and I have to do something I'd not originally planned for. Your own personal circumstances, and your SO's, will be different I'm sure, so I would say it's down to circumstance. And in agreement with Rezie, everyone'll react in different ways to things. So long as you cope with it, you're allowed to react in this way if you want. Just don't let it drag you down.