She lied to me and left me, again..
Hello,
since 15 August 2015 I have been in a relationship with my current ex. We used to see each other every 1-2-3 months. In january this year she broke up with me because she didn't want "us" anymore. Around half July this year, she told me that she wanted to try it again with me (in those 6 months we weren't together we talked a few times). Ofcourse I wanted to try again as well because I never stopped loving this girl and she was also my first girlfriend, first kiss and first time. At that moment where she told me she wanted to try again I was on holiday in Italy for 2 weeks with my friends. I booked a plane ticket to go to her for 4 weeks, which I did from beginning of August. I arrived back home at last Saturday.
When I was there some things happened. In the time we were both single, I knew that she kissed a boy, because I asked her this and she told me it. Although, I asked her many times if it was really just one boy. She said yes and she even swore on her family (!) that it was just one boy to make me believe her. When we are together in person, she goes through my phone a lot, but I let her because I have nothing to hide. I usually never go through her phone, but I did once and there I saw a conversation with a friend of hers. In that conversation she said that she kissed a boy. When I read that I was completely shocked and I didn't move. She asked me what was wrong and I showed her the conversation and asked if she lied to me. She said yes, and then she wanted her phone back but I didn't want to give it back because I wanted to read the rest of the conversation. She then started to get aggressive, hurting me with words but also physically. After a while she took her phone and deleted the conversation, also with the conversations of a few other friends.
A few hours later I calmed down a bit and asked her to explain me everything. She told me that it happened in the club where that boy kissed her. Two days after they saw each other again and they kissed again twice, but according to her it were just 2 "smacks". I told her at that moment that if there was more, it was the moment to tell me the truth. She told me there was nothing more and so I believed her. Since I arrived at home, she was being very distant, ignoring me for hours and the times she did respond, she responded in a very rude way, telling me I am not good in my head, I'm a psycho, etc. (because I asked a friend of hers on Facebook if she was with her). Two days after (yesterday), she told me that I am not a boy for her and she didn't see a future in me anymore. After that I asked her once again if it was really just 3x that she kissed that boy, and then she said no, it was way many more times. I said more than 10x? She said yes.. Before that she insulted me, calling ME a slut. After she told me that she kissed him more than 10x, she told me she broke up with me and blocked me everywhere..
I am currently really destroyed. I cried all day yesterday and I couldn't sleep last night. I woke up really many times, with a stomachache and headache. I just can't believe that she lied to me twice about the same thing. It feels like she cheated on me. I just feel so horrible and I can't process this. When she left me in January I was already devestated for months, feeling depressive, but now it's even worse, because she lied to me about a thing like that... It feels like she used me.. This was my first girlfriend, and she lied to me so many times. I am really having trust issues, and I'm already very insecure and unsure about myself.. I can't believe she did this to me..
since 15 August 2015 I have been in a relationship with my current ex. We used to see each other every 1-2-3 months. In january this year she broke up with me because she didn't want "us" anymore. Around half July this year, she told me that she wanted to try it again with me (in those 6 months we weren't together we talked a few times). Ofcourse I wanted to try again as well because I never stopped loving this girl and she was also my first girlfriend, first kiss and first time. At that moment where she told me she wanted to try again I was on holiday in Italy for 2 weeks with my friends. I booked a plane ticket to go to her for 4 weeks, which I did from beginning of August. I arrived back home at last Saturday.
When I was there some things happened. In the time we were both single, I knew that she kissed a boy, because I asked her this and she told me it. Although, I asked her many times if it was really just one boy. She said yes and she even swore on her family (!) that it was just one boy to make me believe her. When we are together in person, she goes through my phone a lot, but I let her because I have nothing to hide. I usually never go through her phone, but I did once and there I saw a conversation with a friend of hers. In that conversation she said that she kissed a boy. When I read that I was completely shocked and I didn't move. She asked me what was wrong and I showed her the conversation and asked if she lied to me. She said yes, and then she wanted her phone back but I didn't want to give it back because I wanted to read the rest of the conversation. She then started to get aggressive, hurting me with words but also physically. After a while she took her phone and deleted the conversation, also with the conversations of a few other friends.
A few hours later I calmed down a bit and asked her to explain me everything. She told me that it happened in the club where that boy kissed her. Two days after they saw each other again and they kissed again twice, but according to her it were just 2 "smacks". I told her at that moment that if there was more, it was the moment to tell me the truth. She told me there was nothing more and so I believed her. Since I arrived at home, she was being very distant, ignoring me for hours and the times she did respond, she responded in a very rude way, telling me I am not good in my head, I'm a psycho, etc. (because I asked a friend of hers on Facebook if she was with her). Two days after (yesterday), she told me that I am not a boy for her and she didn't see a future in me anymore. After that I asked her once again if it was really just 3x that she kissed that boy, and then she said no, it was way many more times. I said more than 10x? She said yes.. Before that she insulted me, calling ME a slut. After she told me that she kissed him more than 10x, she told me she broke up with me and blocked me everywhere..
I am currently really destroyed. I cried all day yesterday and I couldn't sleep last night. I woke up really many times, with a stomachache and headache. I just can't believe that she lied to me twice about the same thing. It feels like she cheated on me. I just feel so horrible and I can't process this. When she left me in January I was already devestated for months, feeling depressive, but now it's even worse, because she lied to me about a thing like that... It feels like she used me.. This was my first girlfriend, and she lied to me so many times. I am really having trust issues, and I'm already very insecure and unsure about myself.. I can't believe she did this to me..
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