America to Morocco

[beth.irby@gmail.com]

Hi, I'm new here. My boyfriend and I have been communicating for about a year on WhatsApp. He has given me an ultimatum. Either I go to Morocco for Christmas or it's over. I don't know what to do. I still wonder if this is a scam. But would he communicate with me for a year if it were a scam? Does anyone have any advice? Also does anyone have any advice about traveling from America to Morocco?

[Reyhoney]

Sounds so much like a scam I’m so sorry. Yes he could keep it up a year cause he is living his real life in the real world and can hide so much while just keeping you on the phone.

I would think a thousand times before traveling there alone. Be careful.

[beth.irby@gmail.com]

He's never asked me for money. :-( what kind of scam could it be?

[erwin1973]

I don't think you want to know... but it has nothing to do with your money. I so hope I'm wrong. But take Reyhoney her advice, please.

[Reyhoney]

Not all scams are about money. He could want a green card, or sex, or both.

Do you talk about who would move to whom?

Another thing to consider, giving an ultimatum is a really big red flag to me. No one who genuinely cares for you would do that.

[beth.irby@gmail.com]

He wants me to visit him there. Morocco will not give visas to Moroccans to come to America. So, he wants to do a CR1 visa and come here. I was supposed to travel there this past June but I chickened out. So that's why he's giving me the ultimatum. His family was very upset because they had prepared a room for me to stay in their home. At least this is the story that he's giving me

[Reyhoney]

How old are the both of you?

Without giving too much information about myself, I’m from this same region so I know these men like the back of my hand. It all sounds ridiculous. Why would they be too upset about preparing a room for you that you won’t even use until Christmas!?

I’m 100% sure this is all a scam.

[beth.irby@gmail.com]

I'm 30 and he's 26. I'm a teacher and my salary doesn't really support random trips to Morocco. So, I got a second job to help pay to visit him. We are very different and I am a Christian and he is a Muslim. My father is a pastor and is very worried. When we talk he sounds like he does love me. He sends me pictures of his family videos of his niece.

[Reyhoney]

I’m just getting a very bad vibe about him, I don’t know him or know what you both have, but what he is saying isn’t adding up to me.

Like the ultimatum thing, pushing you to spend money you don’t have, but says he loves you?

And the whole family is upset you’re not going after preparing room. Maybe your dad has the right to worry. Traveling to the Middle East when you’re foreign woman from a different religion is tough.

What’s a CR1? Is that a spouse visa?

[beth.irby@gmail.com]

Yes it's a spouse visa

[Reyhoney]

Do you love him? I can’t tell you what to do, but I’m your age and I want to help if I can, even with just words. I would proceed with caution with this guy.

What is your gut telling you? Are you noticing red flags or things that don’t add up? What does he think about you being Christian?

Have you talked about you moving to Morocco just to test him?

[beth.irby@gmail.com]

I love him very much. I know that sounds crazy. I have talked about living on Morocco and he says there are more opportunities for us in America obviously but if his Visa was approved he would want me to live with him in Morocco. He would also like to explore our options in France. My gut tells me he's legit but now I'm starting to question things. Why the urgency? Why do I have to come in December? I even asked him if he would pay for me to come and he replied with "you know I'm not working." According to him that is common there.

[Reyhoney]

These sounds like even more red flags to me. How does he expect anything to happen if he doesn’t work? Is he even looking for work? Could you afford supporting him?

[beth.irby@gmail.com]

He worked as a security guard for a while but that was a temp job. He has recently applied to the police academy. (That's the only way I know how to describe it.) He played professional Hand Ball for a while as well which made me think this was all to good to be true but he just continued to talk to me for a year now. I have so much debt I could never support him on my own.

[ThePhoenixRises]

I wouldn't even be discussing a spouse visa without meeting him first. No way.

I do not react well to ultimatums myself. If my guy had told me to come by a certain date to meet, or else it is over, I would have walked away. Someone who loves me should be understanding if I can't afford the money (or the time!) to come visit. It should be an exciting time, not a stressful one. I would advise caution and I wouldn't even think about trying to support him. He needs to get a job first, there is no real reason why he shouldn't be working to help save up money for visits too.