Finally!

[erwin1973]

I think if you have never met its difficult to get him to commit to the relationship yet. Me and my SO have agreed that after we met irl we will see what we want to do with it.
Maybe he is thinking the same and that is why he is not that committed right now, maybe he just dont want to invest much in something that might not work
I think you whould wait and meet him and if you 2 decide to go for a relationship express your feelings and what you need to make it work.

Im by no means any expert in this so dont take my word

The irony is, that if you don't invest, it will never work. I understand that some people like to wait until meeting in real life, but taking a non-committing approach is, in my opinion, not the best way to make a possible relationship work when you meet. You have to put in at least some real effort to show. But that is of course only my opinion.

[ThePhoenixRises]

I think that investing into the relationship is definitely okay - as long as BOTH people don't have their expectations set too high. It doesn't matter how long you have been talking or how in love you think you are - I just don't believe that you can 100% know until you have physically met. No-one can ever predict how the chemistry will work. As I have said in previous posts, most of the time the feelings do translate to real life and it is wonderful and amazing, but I can kind of see what Onlineguy84 is saying and I do think that this is a sensible approach. I am not an expert either - but I am a realistic and logical person so I think that is why I was so cautious myself before I actually met my SO in real life. In saying this - if someone meets a wonderful person online - I say go for it, meet, have fun, because you will regret what you don't do, rather than what you do. I think that it is always worth trying and seeing what will happen

I guess what I am saying is be cautiously optimistic, go into it with an open mind and an open heart and the first meeting and subsequent days spent together will clarify everything in relation to how the feelings develop etc.

[Reyhoney]

Third day and he’s still non chatty. He texted me a little just nothing special, telling me how hungover he was... I was really excited about potentially meeting up at last but this is starting to really take its toll on me, and it’s starting to be more of a worry than something I enjoy and fun.

I don’t know what to do. Talking hasn’t helped change things for more than a few days at a time. If this is how emotionally draining this is now before meeting and committing, how much more emotionally draining will it be later!?

[Redheart14]

I'm guessing no tickets have been booked yet?

[Reyhoney]

I'm guessing no tickets have been booked yet?

No, his boss is coming back on Monday and that’s when he’ll notify him then book them. I think we should just do it and get it over with and stop thinking about it any more. This is driving me crazy.

[ThePhoenixRises]

Third day and he’s still non chatty. He texted me a little just nothing special, telling me how hungover he was... I was really excited about potentially meeting up at last but this is starting to really take its toll on me, and it’s starting to be more of a worry than something I enjoy and fun.

I don’t know what to do. Talking hasn’t helped change things for more than a few days at a time. If this is how emotionally draining this is now before meeting and committing, how much more emotionally draining will it be later!?

I can only speak for my own situation, but it was the same for me before the first meeting - very emotionally draining and there were times that wondered why I was doing this and also I wondered (more in the initial stages) if I should continue on or not. Then after meeting - a whole different set of emotions came into play but the feelings of being emotionally drained went away mostly. This is because we met, we got along, and after our first meeting things evolved more into discussing our future plans, planning the next visit, etc. Again, this is only my situation but it definitely became emotionally easier after the first meeting.

Hang in there, you will soon know if he has been approved for his time for the visit, you will then meet and the meeting in itself will answer a lot of questions. The first meeting resolves a lot of the emotional rollercoaster. It isn't so long now so try to stick it out. I can honestly say that my partner and I were a little less communicative leading up to our first visit. A mix of nerves, expectations, and lots of other stuff comes into play. It can be quite a normal feeling although that doesn't make it any easier to go through!

[Reyhoney]

I can only speak for my own situation, but it was the same for me before the first meeting - very emotionally draining and there were times that wondered why I was doing this and also I wondered (more in the initial stages) if I should continue on or not. Then after meeting - a whole different set of emotions came into play but the feelings of being emotionally drained went away mostly. This is because we met, we got along, and after our first meeting things evolved more into discussing our future plans, planning the next visit, etc. Again, this is only my situation but it definitely became emotionally easier after the first meeting.

Hang in there, you will soon know if he has been approved for his time for the visit, you will then meet and the meeting in itself will answer a lot of questions. The first meeting resolves a lot of the emotional rollercoaster. It isn't so long now so try to stick it out. I can honestly say that my partner and I were a little less communicative leading up to our first visit. A mix of nerves, expectations, and lots of other stuff comes into play. It can be quite a normal feeling although that doesn't make it any easier to go through!

I think maybe that’s a really good idea for us now, to try to communicate less since everything we do or say could set one of us off. I’m definitely having my nerves go all over the place and I read into everything he does or doesn’t. I know he cares, and maybe we are just friends with potential and I just gotta wait and see.

[Reyhoney]

I want to thank everyone who has commented and gave such amazing advice, you’ve no idea how much I truly appreciate it! You all are so wonderful and understanding and you completely and fully get it and I’m so so grateful to have this community.

I wish your journeys go great and you all get to be with your honeys sooner than later, and I hope from all of my heart that whenever you do look for advice, you find plenty of good reassuring ones, like you’ve reassured me.

[Redheart14]

I want to thank everyone who has commented and gave such amazing advice, you’ve no idea how much I truly appreciate it! You all are so wonderful and understanding and you completely and fully get it and I’m so so grateful to have this community.

I wish your journeys go great and you all get to be with your honeys sooner than later, and I hope from all of my heart that whenever you do look for advice, you find plenty of good reassuring ones, like you’ve reassured me.

Hopefully you get the good news Monday that you've been waiting for

[Reyhoney]

Hopefully you get the good news Monday that you've been waiting for

I hope so Red! I have looked up some flights and sent him the dates and times and asked if they could potentially work and he said he will talk to his boss but they probably could work! I feel like once we both book them I’ll feel really good about it all, to feel like there’s a resolution.

We are going to meet in another city, he’ll fly from Sweden to the US, and I’ll fly from my state to the other state. He will be paying for the Airbnb I think, but should I offer to pay half?

[Redheart14]

You could offer to do that. Or you could offer to cover food instead. Each person does it differently. With me and my fiancé it was whoever flew paid for flights and the other covered everything else. So if I flew I only paid for flights and my fiancé covered food and other little things. In saying that, we live in the same country so staying with each other was cheap as we stayed at each other's houses. I guess seeing he's flown an international flight, that'd be more expensive than the domestic flight for you. If you feel you should pay half, then by all means offer. If he says it's fine then maybe cover the food and other little things.

[Reyhoney]

Yeah I will ask if he’d like me to pay half with him, and definitely pay for food or activities we do or at least take turns doing it. Otherwise I would be really uncomfortable and honestly don’t want to give him a reason to possibly resent me later.