Post Visit Depression: Does it get Better?

[Jelly_Taco]

So me and my SO started out not being long distance, but due to my mom getting married, I had to move almost 400 miles away. We try to see each other at least once a month, and it's actually turned out to be almost every other weekend, which is pretty cool but not expected. But everytime he leaves, I get really really depressed. Like, stay in my bed all day, not talk to anyone, constantly crying depressed. It even interferes with schoolwork sometimes. I'm not really sure how to cope. And I've TRIED the whole "find a new hobby" thing, and it never works out. He just left yesterday and I still burst out crying at random points. This could last from a day or two to an entire week. Does it ever get easier? People try to help and cause just say "Oh, but just think about the great times you had together while he was here!" Every time I do that I just cry because he isn't here with me to do it again. I just miss him. I hate this so much but I love him more. Any advice that actually seemed to help?

[Allurial]

Everyone is different for some people a hobby is enough and for others it takes forcing yourself up out of bed and doing something. Running, going to the gym, doing some physical. As someone who is diagnosed with moderate/severe depression and refuses to take any sort of medication, all you can do is pack yourself up and move on. If you aren't motivated to get better yourself or you don't have the drive yourself you just won't get over it, yeah its not easy and yeah you'll still cry at the beginning. It takes time and a true determination, it's not something you can exactly half ass. People will say to go see a professional, but sometimes thats just not a good fit for people or its not an option financially and the best support is yourself. You are young, and school should be your priority think long term goals and yeah maybe you see him in those long term goals but your education really needs to take the front and center right now.

[R&R]

You are in control of your emotions and once you realize that, you will be able to take control. You can get up each morning and think to yourself, it IS going to be a good day and I WILL get though it without crying. Yes, you may have to work at it at first but it is possible. Focusing on other things does help, but being able to function without these breakdowns is certainly possible.

My daughters (21 & 22) have both been in LDR's. My youngest isn't now but my oldest still is. She last saw him in July and she will see him again in January. When I picked her up from the airport after her visit, she hugged me and cried for a couple of minutes and that was it. Why? Because she knows she will see him again, they would still text and talk on the phone that night and probably Skype, they would still be in communication. Yes, it's hard that he isn't right there next to her but she also knows he hasn't disappeared from her life forever. Your attitude is going to make ALL the difference in how it goes after a visit.

[differentcountries]

I usually set this up very routinely. I plan for nothing to happen the day after I leave, because I know I will be tired and I might cry. Also, SO and I will not be in touch apart from a few texts (we arranged this, so it is not like we are "avoiding" each other, it is just easier like that). I often travel from Saturday to Saturday, which means that the day after I come home, I go to church on Sunday. So it kind of puts things into perspective. I usually light a candle for SO in church, to include him in the prayers. I find that it helps my returns and missing him.

Another thing I do, is that I eat a lot. It sounds weird, but often we enchance our moods by neglecting our bodies. So I drink, eat and move as much as I can. I give my mind inputs like I journal, watch tv or read the newspaper. I typically take withe me food items and tea from his country - this visit, SO also got me his best choice in vitamins and he follows me up like a doctor to make sure I take them every day lol I try to eat enough proteins to keep my blood suger stable. I take a hot bath and just soothe myself. Then after a while, I feel ready to go into the world again. And we go from texts to Skyping and I feel ok with having him "on the screen".

Does Post visit depression get better? Not in itself, no. I can still cry or feel down beaten. But I remind myself of the love that is the cause of all this pain, and that being apart is temporary. There is most likely a way to end this. And then I remind myself that, to make closing the distance a good thing, it must not be rushed. I need to focus, in my daily life, on improving my life which is also improving our lives, so that I can afford visits and stay healthy and in time pay for his immigration to me and our then visits to his country (which will be double the expense when he joins too).

[Rezie]

I think it gets better. At least for me. Obviously the duration of the visit, how often you see each other and when you will see again will have an effect. But I think it gets better. It becomes normal. Not sure if that is a positive thing but for me after the meeting the feeling was a bit like after a holiday. Eventhough part of you is is sad to leave the destination but one part of you is happy to stay in your own bed and go back to normal.

I recommend making some fun plans post visit so there is something to look forward to.