I meet a girl online and have been talking for over a year. Everything was going good we said I love u an talked every day. She started school full time and works full time and everything slowed down. So because she is so busy I been putting in the extra effort and trying to send nice text in the mid day and another at knight to make her day better. Then her ex started showing up and I been getting jelous. She says nothing is happening between them but I got upset that he through a party at her place. She got mad at my concern. So I dropped it and droped the jelousy. But I talked to her and apologized for how I acted and she said I was being clingy. And I feel like she has started drifting away and I don't know what to do.
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Have the two of you established trust over the past year? Maybe she thinks that if you are texting her and that she is not initiating contact that equals you being clingy. Clear communication about how often the two of you have contact might resolve this. -
I trust her just not her ex. She says that she trust me.Comment
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If you trust her, then what is the problem? If she trusts you and you trust her, there should be nothing to worry about.Originally posted by Overthinker92 View Post
Distance means nothing when someone means everything.
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I trust her. When I say I don't trust him I mean that I don't trust him not to hurt her physically or mentally. When they hangout outside of work he is drinking and Im to far away to protect her.Comment
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That's one of the most BS, cop-out answers out there. Why would you trust someone's ex, or any other stranger, for that matter? It takes two to tango, my friend, and if you're uncomfortable with him around her, you don't trust either.Originally posted by Overthinker92 View PostOur separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert EinsteinComment
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Here's a news flash, women are perfectly capable of handling themselves without your 'protection'. Whenever I hear a guy say that, things like "controlling", "dominant", "insecure" and other not so nice words run through my head. Just sayin'.Originally posted by Overthinker92 View PostOur separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert EinsteinComment
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she doesn't need you to protect her. she is a big girl that can look after herself. statements like that makes you sound like a controlling misogynistic jerk.Originally posted by Overthinker92 View PostComment
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I'm old school about relationships. It's the man's job to protect those that he loves. Yes some woman can take care of them selves but a woman that has is about 80lbs smaller no defense training against a drunk guy can still get hurt or worse. I'm here for advise not to be bashed for wanting to protect the girl I love.Comment
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If you can't stand the answer, don't ask the question.Originally posted by Overthinker92 View Post
And being old school about relationships, I am like that, too. But 'protecting her against a drunk ex' is not part of that. If you're so worried about that, tell her you're uncomfortable her going to her ex when he is drunk because he might get violent. It's up to her then. She's not a bird you keep in a cage. She's a person with her own free will and her own wishes and needs. Protecting is something else than controlling. I think you mix them up.
You want advice? Stop overthinking and try to be reasonable.Last edited by erwin1973; October 5, 2017, 05:50 PM.Distance means nothing when someone means everything.
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I'm not sure why I'm even responding since my blood pressure rises form this thread. has the ex physically abused your girlfriend so you have a reason to worry he will physically abuse her or do you just assume that other men want to hurt your property? maybe she is drifting away since she doesn't agree with your "old school"/neaderdahlian views on relationship?Originally posted by Overthinker92 View Post
My advice is to either let her do her thing and trust her or break up since you can't handle her relationship with her ex.Comment
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