Is this a red flag?

[Reyhoney]

Halloween meetup in the US must be so exciting!

And yes it's better to face some things sometimes even if they are difficult. Sorry if I was harsh or anything with you, I do understand how anxiety works and I do feel for you. It just doesn't mean it's right or healthy approach to take most of the time. Even when you can't help it much, I feel like the acceptance of the problem is first step to take towards improvement.

Best of luck with the meet up! And do update us about how it goes.

I appreciated everything you said to me, you did it very respectfully and I appreciate that. You encouraged me! I was pretty scared and I am still a little but I’m pushing past it all and getting out of my comfort zone, this is new to me. We agreed that we are meeting with no promises, if something happens, it happens, if not well that can’t be helped and we’ll move on.

I still think if he’s kept our contact for 7 months and coming all the way here to see me, that he must feel more than he’s telling me. I’m really excited!

[erwin1973]

Still here. But you won’t hear my update believe me.

Thank you for that...

[Lio]

Still here. But you won’t hear my update believe me.

I've followed this thread. I didn't post, because I felt I was going to say something which would be irrelevant and probably not really helpful. However, many people here helped you and gave their opinions, so I think it would be fair towards them if you kept them updated - at least if the meeting is going well. If it's absolutely awful, I would understand you not to tell us a word about it. But why giving such a cold answer ? I understand that you disliked hmrambling's post on page 6 (I personally agreed to what he said), but I think this message is a bit rude. I understand you are dealing with some other problems, but it's not a reason to treat him this way in my opinion.

Anyway, I wish you to enjoy the meeting.

[Redheart14]

I thought that was more directed at the members who weren't supportive. That's how I read that. Maybe I'm wrong.

[C.C.]

I thought that was more directed at the members who weren't supportive. That's how I read that. Maybe I'm wrong.

I thought it was directed to Hmrambling specifically, too. Still not the best but she didn't mean all the members, I think?

[erwin1973]

I thought it was directed to Hmrambling specifically, too. Still not the best but she didn't mean all the members, I think?

Then she should be sending everyone a PM about how it went?

[Lio]

That may be a possibility, yeah. But Reyhoney is asking for some advices. Hmrambling gave his opinion, so did other members. When one is asking for help, they may get what they don't want to hear - even if this is for their own good. I agree that his message may not be the nicest one, yet this is a valid opinion. I think it wasn't made with the intent of disappointing or hurting her.

Then, if she doesn't want to share how the meeting went specifically to some members, she may send a private message to the members of her choice. I think it would be easier to update here or in the First Meetings section. But she will decide about it.

To be honest I reacted this way since I saw Erwin's message. I think we understood it the same way. I'm sorry if I understood it wrongly.

[Reyhoney]

My message was directed to one person (hence quoting them) And actually no, I don’t have to appreciate a rude reply. I’m not sure how quoting random lines from another thread of mine saying THIS, and THIS is helpful at all?

Read the other replies, you’ll see the difference between helpful or not. Many of them were blunt and didn’t sugar coat things but they were respectful. I didn’t find this particular reply respectful to me.

I will update on here cause I DO want to help others but I’ve already added someone to my ignore list, they can probably still read it, but I’ll never get a reply from them again.

Thank you for your reply.

[Reyhoney]

To all the other members who gave truly wonderful advice, thank you! You were hard on me but respectful and you guys gave me the push I needed. I don’t think I would be meeting him soon if it wasn’t for you.

[Reyhoney]

I've followed this thread. I didn't post, because I felt I was going to say something which would be irrelevant and probably not really helpful. However, many people here helped you and gave their opinions, so I think it would be fair towards them if you kept them updated - at least if the meeting is going well. If it's absolutely awful, I would understand you not to tell us a word about it. But why giving such a cold answer ? I understand that you disliked hmrambling's post on page 6 (I personally agreed to what he said), but I think this message is a bit rude. I understand you are dealing with some other problems, but it's not a reason to treat him this way in my opinion.

Anyway, I wish you to enjoy the meeting.

Firstly, please don’t assume things. My message was in reply QUOTING one person.

Secondly, how am I treating him? By not wanting to share something personal with him? That’s up to me to decide. Mods put the Ignore List for a reason.

Thirdly, I no longer want to make this thread about someone else. This is a forum about LDR. This is in no way related to waste a page discussing someone who isn’t the OP.

Thank you for sharing your opinion.

[erwin1973]

That may be a possibility, yeah. But Reyhoney is asking for some advices. Hmrambling gave his opinion, so did other members. When one is asking for help, they may get what they don't want to hear - even if this is for their own good. I agree that his message may not be the nicest one, yet this is a valid opinion. I think it wasn't made with the intent of disappointing or hurting her.

Then, if she doesn't want to share how the meeting went specifically to some members, she may send a private message to the members of her choice. I think it would be easier to update here or in the First Meetings section. But she will decide about it.

To be honest I reacted this way since I saw Erwin's message. I think we understood it the same way. I'm sorry if I understood it wrongly.

I absolutely agree with you on HR. I so agree that she had a point. But yeah... I'll forget about it, I guess. OP should do as she thinks is best.

[Reyhoney]

I absolutely agree with you on HR. I so agree that she had a point. But yeah... I'll forget about it, I guess. OP should do as she thinks is best.

Exactly. Yes please forget about it. Why would you ponder on my issues? I’m not asking you to reply. You’re willingly typing things.

[erwin1973]

Exactly. Yes please forget about it. Why would you ponder on my issues? I’m not asking you to reply. You’re willingly typing things.

So you ask a question but don't want a reply? That is rude to me.

[Reyhoney]

I’m done replying to anything not related to the thread. If you don’t like me then don’t keep replying over and over. It’s really simple. Stop spamming my email and other previous posters emails as well.

[Lio]

Firstly, please don’t assume things. My message was in reply QUOTING one person.

Secondly, how am I treating him? By not wanting to share something personal with him? That’s up to me to decide. Mods put the Ignore List for a reason.

Thirdly, I no longer want to make this thread about someone else. This is a forum about LDR. This is in no way related to waste a page discussing someone who isn’t the OP.

Thank you for sharing your opinion.

I saw your first message, and didn't have time to reply - I thought about replying something like thank you for clarifying, maybe adding one more thing - and I saw this message, which made me change my mind.

We might have misunderstood each other. I firstly misunderstood and thought you weren't going to share it at all. Then you misunderstood me about the way you treat him. I agree with you, you share it with the people of your choice. What I meant is your tone. I felt it was cold, maybe it's something you could have told him in private - maybe not everyone will agree with me on that, but I would have done this, or just made sure he wouldn't contact me, if I was in this case.

You consider his message not respectful towards you. Okay. You don't want to contact him. Also okay. I've read all the replies and found his not disrespectful, yet not the nicest ever, but with a valid opinion. I understand that we react differently to this kind of message.

Anyway, this topic is also over with me. Again, sorry for the misunderstanding, thank you for clarifying, and enjoy your meeting with him.