Is this a red flag?

[erwin1973]

I’m done replying to anything not related to the thread. If you don’t like me then don’t keep replying over and over. It’s really simple. Stop spamming my email and other previous posters emails as well.

Then there is an 'Ignore button', as you so kindly pointed out...

Hearhear.

I'll leave you alone even if you address me personally. Thank you for being so kind and appreciating my - as some say - valid opinion. You're now the only one here with problems, you know. But I think you're cold tone tells me more about you than I wanted to know. So as said, I'll leave you and your problems where they are. Thank you again.

[Reyhoney]

I saw your first message, and didn't have time to reply - I thought about replying something like thank you for clarifying, maybe adding one more thing - and I saw this message, which made me change my mind.

We might have misunderstood each other. I firstly misunderstood and thought you weren't going to share it at all. Then you misunderstood me about the way you treat him. I agree with you, you share it with the people of your choice. What I meant is your tone. I felt it was cold, maybe it's something you could have told him in private - maybe not everyone will agree with me on that, but I would have done this, or just made sure he wouldn't contact me, if I was in this case.

You consider his message not respectful towards you. Okay. You don't want to contact him. Also okay. I've read all the replies and found his not disrespectful, yet not the nicest ever, but with a valid opinion. I understand that we react differently to this kind of message.

Anyway, this topic is also over with me. Again, sorry for the misunderstanding, thank you for clarifying, and enjoy your meeting with him.

How is you not finding his message disrespectful or not relate to me in any way? It’s about me, not about you. You’re telling me to feel what you feel? On my own thread asking for my own advice? You didn’t even reply anything that has to do with my thread. I’m entitled to how I feel, I was in no way rude to anyone. You don’t know my tone, you’re reading words on a screen.

It just baffles me! If this thread is offending you, walk away, you don’t have to reply to every thread on here, especially to argue about the way I’m choosing to take or leave an advice. It’s my choice

If I get any more harassment about it I’ll have to report them, I’ve been just adding people to ignore lists but I’m not going to sit here and be harassed non stop. Enjoy your day.

[Reyhoney]

Then there is an 'Ignore button', as you so kindly pointed out...

Hearhear.

I'll leave you alone even if you address me personally. Thank you for being so kind and appreciating my - as some say - valid opinion. You're now the only one here with problems, you know. But I think you're cold tone tells me more about you than I wanted to know. So as said, I'll leave you and your problems where they are. Thank you again.

I have noticed that you particularly love to stir the pot in other threads. Not entertaining you.

[erwin1973]

If I get any more harassment about it I’ll have to report them, I’ve been just adding people to ignore lists but I’m not going to sit here and be harassed non stop. Enjoy your day.

Looks to me you're the one who is agressive. Not me. That you are insulted by something and even after I sincerely apologized don't let it go, is not my fault. Let it go.

I have noticed that you particularly love to stir the pot in other threads. Not entertaining you.

I have entertainment enough, thank you. Be happy always. Don't fret. It will get you wrinkles. There is no way you are going to harress me. If you don't like my replies, don't read them. I think my pink avatar is pretty much recognizable.

Have a good visit to your SO and I hope you'll have a good time with him. Yes, I mean that, even if you don't believe me.

[hmrambling]

OP has ignored me, and that is fine. However I'll let it be know that I am female, and no one is to assume that when I post about my experiences or relationships with women that I am a man. Please don't assume that I am a man when I am an out lesbian. Having put that aside, it's okay that I'm being ignored for delivering an honest opinion.

I see opinions and other people sharing their experiences like this: take what you like and leave the rest. Or store the rest. Perhaps some information shared might be useful later down the road, therefore I store the rest... even the information that I don't necessarily agree with.

To recap: OP asked a question, "Is this a red flag?" and I responded that there is no stranger on the internet that could determine for me whether or not something is a red flag. I pointed out inconsistencies in her posts in this thread and other threads because I can see that OP wants to defend him in some posts, and that she is uncertain of him in other posts.

OP has written me off as rude and disrespectful (which I will not quote because OP doesn't like me quoting out of context, therefore I will respect her wishes for me to not quote.)

However as a grown adult human being, people need to realize a few things:

1. People will not always agree with you.
2. When people do not agree with you, that does not automatically mean that they are being rude or disrespectful.
3. Even if the opinion/information is critical, something may be learned from it.

I don't have to agree with you to support you. Never did I wish ill will to OP. And OP has been very liberal in bad mouthing a stranger on the internet who she assumes to be a man.

Hit the ignore button if you wish. I will not guarantee that I will always agree with every OP. If a person has a problem with hearing other people's opinions, then I am unsure why that same person would solicit other people's opinions. We've had this discussion before where we talked about how supporting someone doesn't always mean agreeing with everything that OP said. However, if that is going to be some unwritten rule around here then more people should be put on notice.

Good luck meeting the fellow who you came here to post all the red flags about, then ultimately defended all of his actions. Best luck to you OP.

[Redheart14]

Hopefully all the planning is going well. I'm excited for you.

[Reyhoney]

Hopefully all the planning is going well. I'm excited for you.

Thank you so much Red! I’m already thinking about packing my suitcase but that would be crazy right!? 😀

[Redheart14]

How many days away is it?

[Reyhoney]

How many days away is it?

12 days exactly! Gah! I’m having so many feelings now.
Would you guys like me to close this thread and just start over and update everyone?

[Redheart14]

Might be easier

[Lio]

However I'll let it be know that I am female, and no one is to assume that when I post about my experiences or relationships with women that I am a man. Please don't assume that I am a man when I am an out lesbian.

My bad, sorry about that. I thought you were a man. My apologies.

How is you not finding his message disrespectful or not relate to me in any way? It’s about me, not about you. You’re telling me to feel what you feel? On my own thread asking for my own advice? You didn’t even reply anything that has to do with my thread. I’m entitled to how I feel, I was in no way rude to anyone. You don’t know my tone, you’re reading words on a screen.

It just baffles me! If this thread is offending you, walk away, you don’t have to reply to every thread on here, especially to argue about the way I’m choosing to take or leave an advice. It’s my choice

If I get any more harassment about it I’ll have to report them, I’ve been just adding people to ignore lists but I’m not going to sit here and be harassed non stop. Enjoy your day.

Seems I have to reply at this point by point. Here we go !

1. The whole thing started with a misunderstanding, I apologized about it later.
2. We are grown-ups. You have the right to consider hmrambling's message disrespectful, I have the right to consider it not disrespectful. We both have the right to tell the way we react about it - as long as we don't overcome the forum rules. This is freedom of speech.
3. I am not telling you how to feel. I was saying that what you told hmrambling is not something we should say publicly if we don't want to make a bad image of ourselves. But if this is what you want to do, feel free to do this. I won't prevent you from doing this.
4. I didn't post earlier, and I told it here. I was not sure I would say something you'd consider as correct, or something irrelevant. I do not post for posting. If I am sure I can help, then I do. Everyone does what they think is right.
5. You are right, I am reading words on a screen. But I can make the difference between an aggressive message and a non-aggressive one. I exaggerate a bit, but I hope you get what I mean.
6. This thread is not offending me. Otherwise I would have skipped it. I have trust in the admin, she would act the right way in the forum's interest if the thread was going against it.
7. It's your choice to take the advice the way you want. It's my choice to give my opinion about it. Freedom of speech.
8. I have not been harassing you. I firstly misunderstood your message, you made it more clear then quoted my message, then we replied to each other. We quite debated and showed disagreement to our respective points.

I don't think I have anything else to say about it. You have the choice to read it or to ignore it. Just know that my reply has been written without any bad intent towards you. As hmrambling said, a disagreement doesn't mean being rude or disrespectful. If you want to add me to the ignore list, whatever the reason is, feel free to do so.

Would you guys like me to close this thread and just start over and update everyone?

You do what you think is right about it. People usually tell about their first meetings at the Visits & First Time Meetings section.

[Reyhoney]

Might be easier

I’m really sorry about all of this.

[Redheart14]

I’m really sorry about all of this.

You don't need to apologise to me.

[Reyhoney]

Just because you’ve an opinion that you can voice doesn’t mean you can hurt, offend and judge with it. These are my feelings about it. You’re free to feel whatever you want about it, it’s not like this is anyone’s thread.

Thanks and this is it.