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She doesn't want to talk to me because I'm too dumb

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    #1

    She doesn't want to talk to me because I'm too dumb

    I have been in relationship with this girl and moved to her country 3 months ago and lately things are going pretty bad and she is seeking for a breakup. She gets angry over the smallest things.. for instance, I fell asleep in the evening and didn't answer her calls or messages for 4 hours and she ignored me for 3 days. She called me a liar for suddenly ignoring her and I got frustrated and told her she can contact my roommate and I did something stupid.. I showed her my google map activities to show her I never left the house and stayed in my room, I guess this was a really cringe move from my side and I behaved in a similar way before. She gets mad if I don't fill her water when we eat in restaurants and starts ignoring me for 2-3 days. Due to this behaviour, she calls me dumb f**k, stupid and she feels pathetic she has a dumb idiotic boyfriend even though I'm doing master's degree with scholarship.

    She blames me for causing all the drama but I feel like I'm just struggling to show I care. She told me not to talk to her again. What should I do? I have told her if her life is better without me, I would not bother her. I still love her but I can't be myself around her even because I feel she is very judgemental. I haven't had much experience with relationships so I've started to feel I'm dumb and I've started to feel worthless (maybe I need to work on improving my self-esteem more).
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    #2
    May be you should seriously consider if you really, really, really want to be in a relationship like that...
    Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

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      #3
      she is mean and manipulative. treats you like crap and doesnt care about you. leave her and move on.

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        #4
        You are 25, not 16. You should know and realise very well that this is not a relationship to invest anything into. She's seeking breakup? Good, you are better off her anyway!

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          #5
          If I were you, I'd break-up/stay broken up. This relationship is bordering on abusive, emotionally+psychologically. Completely unhealthy, and doesn't sound like either of you are happy. And if you don't feel as though you can be yourself around her, then I'm not sure why you'd want to be with her. We should be comfortable around our partners and not be stepping on eggshells or hiding who we are to avoid their judgment or harsh comments. If she doesn't want you to talk to her, don't. Move on.

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            #6
            You need to learn to love yourself more and not to depend your worthiness on other people. That is what this relationship is trying to teach you. Once you start loving yourself more, you'll never ever again tolerate someone else treating you like that.

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              #7
              Originally posted by TJ-LJ View Post
              If I were you, I'd break-up/stay broken up. This relationship is bordering on abusive, emotionally+psychologically. Completely unhealthy, and doesn't sound like either of you are happy. And if you don't feel as though you can be yourself around her, then I'm not sure why you'd want to be with her. We should be comfortable around our partners and not be stepping on eggshells or hiding who we are to avoid their judgment or harsh comments. If she doesn't want you to talk to her, don't. Move on.
              ^ It's not even bordering on abusive-- it is, well and fully. Gaslighting, manipulation, and derision are all emotionally abusive tactics. Abusive relationships can also take a huge toll on your self-esteem. This is not a relationship you want to put any more energy into. Get out as soon as you can, please!
              Canadian permanent residence APPROVED!
              Closed the Distance: 09/26/2019
              Engaged: 09/26/2020

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                #8
                Run, dear. This is an abusive relationship, and you deserve to be treated WAY better than how she's treating you. You're worth way more than being reduced to her emotional punching bag, and she doesn't deserve the kindness you're extending her.
                Put yourself first and get out as quickly as possible. Breaking up would be the best thing for you. The sooner she's out of your life, the better off you'll be.

                Please take care.

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                  #9
                  You’re in an abusive relationship.

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                    #10
                    Thank you for the replies everyone. Despite this, I have been tried to contact her.. through mail asking her whether she would be interested in talking and why she is ignoring me. She said I'm annoying her. I now realise its time to stop talking to her. However, I still want to let her know how much she hurt me, how much she blackmailed me by emotionally abusing me all the time.. I want to tell her this even though this might end any slight chance of being with her again. I think I'll her.

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by JohnGoober View Post
                      I want to tell her this even though this might end any slight chance of being with her again.
                      She doesn't give a flying f*** to anything you say, and you shouldn't give a flying f*** to her too.

                      I hope it really ends ALL and EVERY chance of being with that person ever again in your life, and you can cut the karmic ties and move on in your journey of learning to love yourself.
                      Last edited by ILoveYou22; October 13, 2017, 08:02 AM.

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by ILoveYou22 View Post
                        She doesn't give a flying f*** to anything you say, and you shouldn't give a flying f*** to her too.

                        I hope it really ends ALL and EVERY chance of being with that person ever again in your life, and you can cut the karmic ties and move on in your journey of learning to love yourself.
                        I second this.

                        It's better for you if you don't contact her ever again. She really doesn't care about you and hasn't for ages. You deserve better, don't stoop lower than what you are worth.

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                          #13
                          She isn't going to care, and if anything, she'll try to turn it around on you. Stop the cycle now and just cut her out of your life for good. It's understandable that you'd want to tell her how awful she's treated you, but you're not going to get the closure you rightly deserve. It'll only end in more hurt.

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