I think I am becoming paranoid
I met my boyfriend in Boston when i was doing an exchange program. I spend two months with him there, and they were the most amazing months of my life. This was during summer so he was working (he was not in college) , he had an ice cream truck and I used to go to his work every day after my classes, and when he was not working we used to do other activities and I really enjoyed every second of my life. I really could tell that we were both in love, he showed me his love in every single way. His texts, the way he tacked to me, he gave me different presents. Before I came back to my country he even gave me a ring (a promise knote ring) promising that he would do anything because he wanted me as his girlfriend forever. He used to always tell me that he never felt this way towards anyone, that i was his one and only, all those kind of stuff. I believed him because he really proved it with all his actions while i was there in Boston.
One important thing is that I really believed that our love was real, so i opened myself to him to the point that I lost my virginity with him, I felt that he was the indicated.
At the end of august I came back to my country, and we decided to continue the relationship. We wanted this to work, we did not want to finish the relationship, we believed that our love was so strong and not even time, not even distance, no one could break us apart. I was scared because I knew this was going to be hard and specially for me since he was going to return to college, and I was going to be at home doing nothing and bored.
We have been in a LDR for 2 months (ONLY TWO MONTHS) and this has been really hard for me. Since the first week of his college everything was different, he started going out, drinking, partying. But we still, talked, facetime, he was able to divide his time for his friends and social life and for me. HOWEVER, during the past 3 weeks this has changed, I really feel that he is not as interested as he was, he spend more time out and when we facetime is not the same. I've talked to him about this before, i asked him how he was feeling if he felt he wanted to continue this relationship. I also told him how i was feeling that I've been feeling down and crying because i miss him more and more. He apologysed for making feel that way, he told me that he knew that he was always around people, and he told me that everything he wanted was me and that he never want to lose me.
Sometimes I feel that he is full of words now, because now he does not show me that he wants and loves me, he used to do that before when i was in Boston. The biggest problem is that I'm always at home, while he is out, and I'm becoming crazy. I am starting to beleive the worst things, I'm extremely jelaous about everything, I create dramas inside my head to the point that i start crying for hours thinking that doesn't love me anymore and he is putting his popularity and parties over me, one night i even thought he cheated on me, but he is not capable of doing that. I know him and his friend have told me that he always talks about me and he is so dedicated to his relationship, but right now i don't feel that.
We we started the LDR it was fun, we talked for ours, we played, we have done everything. Now we rarely talk, he takes a long time to reply my messages. I think like Im losing my mind, I don't know what to think, who do I believe: my mind or his words? I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
One last thing is that I'm applying for college to go back to Boston in spring of 2018, but I do not know if it worth it.
One important thing is that I really believed that our love was real, so i opened myself to him to the point that I lost my virginity with him, I felt that he was the indicated.
At the end of august I came back to my country, and we decided to continue the relationship. We wanted this to work, we did not want to finish the relationship, we believed that our love was so strong and not even time, not even distance, no one could break us apart. I was scared because I knew this was going to be hard and specially for me since he was going to return to college, and I was going to be at home doing nothing and bored.
We have been in a LDR for 2 months (ONLY TWO MONTHS) and this has been really hard for me. Since the first week of his college everything was different, he started going out, drinking, partying. But we still, talked, facetime, he was able to divide his time for his friends and social life and for me. HOWEVER, during the past 3 weeks this has changed, I really feel that he is not as interested as he was, he spend more time out and when we facetime is not the same. I've talked to him about this before, i asked him how he was feeling if he felt he wanted to continue this relationship. I also told him how i was feeling that I've been feeling down and crying because i miss him more and more. He apologysed for making feel that way, he told me that he knew that he was always around people, and he told me that everything he wanted was me and that he never want to lose me.
Sometimes I feel that he is full of words now, because now he does not show me that he wants and loves me, he used to do that before when i was in Boston. The biggest problem is that I'm always at home, while he is out, and I'm becoming crazy. I am starting to beleive the worst things, I'm extremely jelaous about everything, I create dramas inside my head to the point that i start crying for hours thinking that doesn't love me anymore and he is putting his popularity and parties over me, one night i even thought he cheated on me, but he is not capable of doing that. I know him and his friend have told me that he always talks about me and he is so dedicated to his relationship, but right now i don't feel that.
We we started the LDR it was fun, we talked for ours, we played, we have done everything. Now we rarely talk, he takes a long time to reply my messages. I think like Im losing my mind, I don't know what to think, who do I believe: my mind or his words? I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
One last thing is that I'm applying for college to go back to Boston in spring of 2018, but I do not know if it worth it.
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