Question/Survey

[SashaBL]

Ok, this is not really a formal survey, I am just curious about two things:

1.What do you consider to be a happy ending for your LDR? Do you expect the end result to be marriage and a family (if you are able to close the distance and still get along and in love), or marriage and family don't really matter to you, as long as you are together? I realize reply to this question can very much depend on where you are in your life, as well as your age, past relationship experiences, and culture. If you don't mind, would you also indicate your age range? i.e. Teens, 20s, 30s etc.
2. Is there anyone out there who is actually content with not having a plan to close the distance? Or, to put it another way, anyone willing to stay in an exclusive LDR with the possibility of seeing your SO a couple times a year for the rest of your life? If not, where do you draw the line?

Thanks!

[autumn1790]

My ideal happy ending is just to be together...in the same city, same place. Not saying goodbye for days and weeks. Marriage and kids can happen somewhat down the line after that.
Heck no for me...I hate the distance and can't wait for it to be over. Some people can live like that...not me.

[Rezie]

What do you consider to be a happy ending for your LDR?

My happy ending is that we are both happy. In dream world it would be that we are together in the same place and we are both content there and not hoping to go "back home" and we have created a home together and we are happy. But I would also consider it a happy ending if we didn't make it and we could both look at each other in the eyes and say we tried everything but it just didn't work for us. Not having any type of "what if" feeling.

Is there anyone out there who is actually content with not having a plan to close the distance?

I'm sure there are. I was content with LDR for several years without a real plan to close the distance. Then became a time when I wasn't happy with it anymore. Not everyone wants to share their life with someone so having a partner to go on holidays and spend time together every now and then can be enough. I personlly wouldn't want to be in an exclusive relationship like that.

[C.C.]

I'd not want to rush the marriage but it's important to me and something I'm looking for with a partner in general. Happy ending is a bit vague. I'd be happy whenever we'd close the distance too. Especially since both me and M are family oriented and I'll know that if we work well it's going to happen.

As for the second question no, no way.

I'm 21 basically, btw.

[hmrambling]

1.What do you consider to be a happy ending for your LDR? Do you expect the end result to be marriage and a family (if you are able to close the distance and still get along and in love), or marriage and family don't really matter to you, as long as you are together? I realize reply to this question can very much depend on where you are in your life, as well as your age, past relationship experiences, and culture. If you don't mind, would you also indicate your age range? i.e. Teens, 20s, 30s etc.

I just turned 42. I've had long term relationships in the past, and I learned from them. I had a very unhealthy LDR relationship, which was the one that originally brought me here to the forums. I learned a great deal in that year that I was in that LDR. Primarily, I learned what holding on to an LDR where I was 1300 miles away from someone who was not really emotionally available for a relationship looks like. So I committed to not do that again, and I stepped away from all romantic relationships and worked on developing my real live social network and support network. I learned that I really needed to be a healthy person with my own hobbies, interests, and friends so that I could be a complete person before I even considered another relationship. I actually laid out a dating plan with goals that I followed so that I could have realistic expectations. Having established all of that, I consider a happy ending for my LDR if we continue on long term with a healthy relationship where each of us maintains her own hobbies, interests, and relationships with each of our respective families. I do not want an enmeshed relationship where we are joined at the hip. I want a relationship where we work together as a team and are caring toward each other. While we are currently engaged and have closed the distance, but that's not the end. She still has a house in her city and I still have a house in my city. Each of us go back to our respective houses. I'm getting mine ready for sale and she hopes to sell hers as well. Because we each have houses that we go back to, we don't spend a lot of our weekends or holidays together. So while closing the distance is the happy ending for a lot of people, it is not for us because we each still go back to our houses and so we still spend a lot of time apart.

2. Is there anyone out there who is actually content with not having a plan to close the distance? Or, to put it another way, anyone willing to stay in an exclusive LDR with the possibility of seeing your SO a couple times a year for the rest of your life? If not, where do you draw the line?

I would not have been willing to continue a long distance relationship with never having closed the distance. To me, a person who never wants to close the distance is emotionally unavailable.

[Kerry92]

I wouldnt say I wish for a happy ending to my LDR as that just sounds fairytail but realistically I wish for us to be together. To be living together in the same city having closed the distance and to be embarking on our new shared life with each other.
As for not closing the distance...I am sure there are people out there who are happy and content with that and good luck to them, I wish them all the luck in the world as long as they are happy. As for me hell no!..the distance is killing me and I can't wait till we can close it.