Well...I (19F) just got off a tear filled and emotional skype call with my boyfriend (16M). We found out back in August/September that we could meet this year in December for 2 weeks during our Christmas Break from school because we had finally gotten the funds to afford the trip. Everything was going to work out well to our knowledge. He was going to be coming here (the US) from Germany and my parents were completely down for it.
They have talked to and been around my BF a lot because I will frequently involve him with my family (like game nights, car rides, etc) so they're pretty familiar with him and know we are dating. The problem was his parents who are strict Muslim and don't allow dating. My boyfriend is an atheist but for obvious reasons they don't know this...there for they only think I'm a friend he met while he was here visiting America for a school trip the previous year.
He thought he could find a way around this by trying to convince them he was coming here for a scholarship program but obviously they weren't okay with this not having any information about this 'program' my boyfriend tried so many things to convince them and despite me telling him he shouldn't do this and that it's not a good idea to lie and stress himself over doing this he persisted and told me he was convinced he'd make it happen.
Well tonight he was expressing worries about it again and I straight up just told him to forget about it because I could see how much stress it was causing him and at this point it's nearly a month away from when he'd be coming and we haven't been able to book anything...so we came to the conclusion that it wasn't going to happen like we had planned.
The amount of sadness and disappointment we both feel is overwhelming. We feel hopeless. After months of being exciting and planning it's just gone...and now we're left with no idea how we are going to meet. It's like any plan we come up with we run into problems with his parents not approving. There's always the option for me to go visit him in Germany but my mom already told me she would never let me go alone and so we're worried about not having alone time together if my mom is going to be tagging along. I just don't know what to do and any advice or comforting words would be great right now.
*QUICK DISCLAIMER* We know we will be together in at least a year and half to two years because he has had plans to move to the US for years once he graduates to pursue a career here and his parents are completely supportive of it. So it's not like all hope is lost but we would like to at least be able to visit each other a few times before then, you know?
They have talked to and been around my BF a lot because I will frequently involve him with my family (like game nights, car rides, etc) so they're pretty familiar with him and know we are dating. The problem was his parents who are strict Muslim and don't allow dating. My boyfriend is an atheist but for obvious reasons they don't know this...there for they only think I'm a friend he met while he was here visiting America for a school trip the previous year.
He thought he could find a way around this by trying to convince them he was coming here for a scholarship program but obviously they weren't okay with this not having any information about this 'program' my boyfriend tried so many things to convince them and despite me telling him he shouldn't do this and that it's not a good idea to lie and stress himself over doing this he persisted and told me he was convinced he'd make it happen.
Well tonight he was expressing worries about it again and I straight up just told him to forget about it because I could see how much stress it was causing him and at this point it's nearly a month away from when he'd be coming and we haven't been able to book anything...so we came to the conclusion that it wasn't going to happen like we had planned.
The amount of sadness and disappointment we both feel is overwhelming. We feel hopeless. After months of being exciting and planning it's just gone...and now we're left with no idea how we are going to meet. It's like any plan we come up with we run into problems with his parents not approving. There's always the option for me to go visit him in Germany but my mom already told me she would never let me go alone and so we're worried about not having alone time together if my mom is going to be tagging along. I just don't know what to do and any advice or comforting words would be great right now.
*QUICK DISCLAIMER* We know we will be together in at least a year and half to two years because he has had plans to move to the US for years once he graduates to pursue a career here and his parents are completely supportive of it. So it's not like all hope is lost but we would like to at least be able to visit each other a few times before then, you know?
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