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Still afraid of cheating

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    Still afraid of cheating

    Let me preface this by saying that I have never cheated on any of my boyfriends, and I have dated a lot of men.

    Lately I've been having vivid dreams where I cheat on Judsen. I wake up and I am so stressed out from my nightmare that I'm sweating and shaking. Sometimes I cry during the dream too at the thought that I could be such a horrible person.

    I've noticed myself becoming reluctant at going out with other people for fear of getting too drunk and cheating. I know it is an irrational thought, because I am able to moderate how much I drink and the other times I have been incoherently intoxicated I never was attracticed to anyone else.

    I don't know why I'm scared so much of something that isn't going to happen. Does it mean I love Judsen less? I don't have feelings for anyone else, I don't look at anyone else, and I have never hooked up with random strangers, so why should I be terrified of cheating???

    Maybe it's the distance. I've never felt like I was susceptible to cheating before we became LD, nor have I felt this way in any other relationship. Maybe the horror stories of people in LDRs giving in to temptation have got me worried.

    Any advice besides purchasing a dream catcher?
    First date: 12.27.09
    Started the distance: 6.10.10
    Finished the distance: 8.17.12

    J & C

    #2
    I dream of cheating on Obi all the time. And whilst I have cheated on a partner in the past, the dreams are nothing like the reality.

    Most of the time dreams don't really mean anything, they are just your mind's way of processing things to help keep you sane. The scent of peppermint oil is supposed to aid dreams, as is a piece of amethyst crystal under your pillow.
    Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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      #3
      I have dreams like that too. But like Zephii said, these are only DREAMS.

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        #4
        I think it can very much be your fear of it that is causing you to dream about it. It doesnt mean at all you want to cheat on him, or you are more inclined to cheat on him, or anything negative. From what I read, you don't particulary enjoy the cheating that goes on in your dream or embrace the idea of doing it, you don't dream about anyone specific so I don't think you have to worry too much about it.
        I went and searched a bit online and this is what I got from one dream explanation website:

        Adultery
        To dream that you commit adultery or have an affair, signifies your sexual urges and desires that are longing to be expressed. Alternatively, it indicates self-betrayal of your subconscious. You may find yourself entangled in a situation that is not in your best interest, perhaps even illegal.

        Cheating
        To dream that you are cheating on your spouse, mate, fiance, or significant other, suggests feelings of self-guilt and self-betrayal. You may have compromised your beliefs or integrity and/or wasting your energy and time on fruitless endeavors. Alternatively, cheating dreams reflect the intensity of your sexual passion; you are exploring areas of your sexuality. In this scenario, the dream may actually serve as a reaffirmation of your commitment.
        From what I read, I think you just miss him a lot

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          #5
          I have never dreamed this, but I've dreamed about my SO cheating on me (wich is suppose to be one of the most constant dreams on people). Anyway, this doesn't mean you love him less or that you will cheat. You are responsible for your actions, and as you love him you wouldn't do that. Hope you can sleep better soon!

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            #6
            I have dreams like this too. I have also dreamt about Frank cheating on me. Both upset me very much but I know I would never actually cheat and Frank would never cheat either. I think my brain just likes to torture itself sometimes.
            Read my LDR story!
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