Could use some advice please <3
Hi there,
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now, we are both very much in love, we are very well fitted for one another, have the same morals, viewpoints about everything in life, we can talk about anything and everything, he's incredibly sweet, sensitive, loving, I feel incredibly loved. He's so thoughtful as well, he always puts me first if he can and is very generous with me. He's basically everything I've ever wanted and he's my first relationship. My family love him, he doesnt drink like I dont and our ideal night in is the same - sat together watching a movie. We don't want much out of life!
However, something that has always bothered me (though I certainly dont think about it a lot, only if certain situations arise) is that he can be a bit like a child at times. I've always loved that he has a wise head on his shoulders (when it comes to important things, he is incredibly mature and level headed) he isnt afraid to be a big kid at times but -
He was playing in a store with my younger brother on his last trip (he's 9, my boyfriend almost 27) and he was being incredibly loud and running around the aisles with him, i had to tell him to be quiet and stop it because I was getting embarrassed. Most recently, (this happened yesterday) he called me sobbing because he couldnt export a video for youtube. Long story short - we are both youtubers, met on youtube and my channel got pretty big and it is now my job. However, my boyfriend always wanted that for himself and despite having an incredible dream job doing what he loves, he still has that desire to make a living off youtube and I think it doesnt help the fact that I am able to. He always says to me he doesnt know why he still does it to himself, he doesnt enjoy it and it causes him stress, but he cant let go of that desire to succeed. I've seen him in tears before because he doesnt ever get the time or opportunity to film due to living at home and people being in the house or having to babysit his niece, or he gets annoyed or frustrated and sometimes cries if he cant film after planning it out, as he feels he is wasting his weekends by not doing so. This doesn't happen all that often because he rarely uploads to youtube anymore, but yesterday he was literally sobbing at me about his computer not working (he had edited an entire video last week only to have his computer crash for a week - his dad fixed it for him but when he finally went to save/export the video, it didnt work - so it had all built up out of frustration) but his Mother heard him and came in and he basically threw the phone down to sob into his moms arms saying "it's not working I tried but it isnt, I dont know why I do this to myself". The problem is, he is the youngest - the baby of the family. His parents/mom babies him and he likes it that way. I try to deny that he is immature because he can be SO mature at times, he's always the one visiting me, sorting his flights out, traveling for over 24 hours, he always listens and talks me through things if ever I am upset, he's very logical about things but really - he can be flat out immature at times.
The thing is he can be so level headed about things but I was so incredibly turned off by that sobbing to his mother about a video, I feel really weird today about it. He has always been sensitive and i've loved that about him, but I hate it when he can be almost like a young child in that way. He is insanely close with his mother and our plan in 5 years is to have him move to me but honestly, and we've both talked about this to some degree in the past, sometimes I cannot see him being strong enough to do that. I don't feel he is a MAN, I feel I am dating a teenage boy sometimes, I don't often feel he is a strong person at all. That being said, this is really his only fault and I know nobody is perfect, so is this something I should look past? I do love him so incredibly much but it concerns me. I think if ever he NEEDED to be responsible and he had to own up to things he would. Because as I say, he is very thoughtful and wise when he has to be.
I guess i'll talk to him about it but whenever I bring anything up that bothers me, he immediately starts being down on himself and saying he was stupid or I deserve better. We always make up not long after, we are incredible together, resolving issues is something we can do quite easily, we communicate so well and just love each other that at the end of the day, any disagreements we have (And there have been a few) we always end up resolving or laughing by the end of the skype call.
This is my first relationship so I do have a hard time knowing if this is the kind of thing I should let slip and just understand is one of his faults. Thank you for any advice it means a lot.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now, we are both very much in love, we are very well fitted for one another, have the same morals, viewpoints about everything in life, we can talk about anything and everything, he's incredibly sweet, sensitive, loving, I feel incredibly loved. He's so thoughtful as well, he always puts me first if he can and is very generous with me. He's basically everything I've ever wanted and he's my first relationship. My family love him, he doesnt drink like I dont and our ideal night in is the same - sat together watching a movie. We don't want much out of life!
However, something that has always bothered me (though I certainly dont think about it a lot, only if certain situations arise) is that he can be a bit like a child at times. I've always loved that he has a wise head on his shoulders (when it comes to important things, he is incredibly mature and level headed) he isnt afraid to be a big kid at times but -
He was playing in a store with my younger brother on his last trip (he's 9, my boyfriend almost 27) and he was being incredibly loud and running around the aisles with him, i had to tell him to be quiet and stop it because I was getting embarrassed. Most recently, (this happened yesterday) he called me sobbing because he couldnt export a video for youtube. Long story short - we are both youtubers, met on youtube and my channel got pretty big and it is now my job. However, my boyfriend always wanted that for himself and despite having an incredible dream job doing what he loves, he still has that desire to make a living off youtube and I think it doesnt help the fact that I am able to. He always says to me he doesnt know why he still does it to himself, he doesnt enjoy it and it causes him stress, but he cant let go of that desire to succeed. I've seen him in tears before because he doesnt ever get the time or opportunity to film due to living at home and people being in the house or having to babysit his niece, or he gets annoyed or frustrated and sometimes cries if he cant film after planning it out, as he feels he is wasting his weekends by not doing so. This doesn't happen all that often because he rarely uploads to youtube anymore, but yesterday he was literally sobbing at me about his computer not working (he had edited an entire video last week only to have his computer crash for a week - his dad fixed it for him but when he finally went to save/export the video, it didnt work - so it had all built up out of frustration) but his Mother heard him and came in and he basically threw the phone down to sob into his moms arms saying "it's not working I tried but it isnt, I dont know why I do this to myself". The problem is, he is the youngest - the baby of the family. His parents/mom babies him and he likes it that way. I try to deny that he is immature because he can be SO mature at times, he's always the one visiting me, sorting his flights out, traveling for over 24 hours, he always listens and talks me through things if ever I am upset, he's very logical about things but really - he can be flat out immature at times.
The thing is he can be so level headed about things but I was so incredibly turned off by that sobbing to his mother about a video, I feel really weird today about it. He has always been sensitive and i've loved that about him, but I hate it when he can be almost like a young child in that way. He is insanely close with his mother and our plan in 5 years is to have him move to me but honestly, and we've both talked about this to some degree in the past, sometimes I cannot see him being strong enough to do that. I don't feel he is a MAN, I feel I am dating a teenage boy sometimes, I don't often feel he is a strong person at all. That being said, this is really his only fault and I know nobody is perfect, so is this something I should look past? I do love him so incredibly much but it concerns me. I think if ever he NEEDED to be responsible and he had to own up to things he would. Because as I say, he is very thoughtful and wise when he has to be.
I guess i'll talk to him about it but whenever I bring anything up that bothers me, he immediately starts being down on himself and saying he was stupid or I deserve better. We always make up not long after, we are incredible together, resolving issues is something we can do quite easily, we communicate so well and just love each other that at the end of the day, any disagreements we have (And there have been a few) we always end up resolving or laughing by the end of the skype call.
This is my first relationship so I do have a hard time knowing if this is the kind of thing I should let slip and just understand is one of his faults. Thank you for any advice it means a lot.
Comment