He’s moving again & I’m in a Panic

[PhillyKitty]

To make a long story short my boyfriend and I were together for 5 years (living together, talks of marriage, the whole deal)...

Anyways he had to relocate for work (roughly 600 miles away) the same time I landed my dream job which forced us into LDR. Fast forward 6 months of LDR and the distance got the best of us. Fast forward again one and a half years later to us reconnecting at a mutual friends party. All the feelings came rushing back for the both of us. We agreed to try again but to be better and to take our time to really get to know one another in our new lives.

It’s been 9 months now of LDR take 2 and the time apart really helped us with being successful, thus far....

Sorry to ramble but I suppose I’m here for a little support and some wise words of wisdom because he has to relocate again for work and I’m worried that history may repeat itself. I don’t want the stress of a new job plus lack of a social network be the reason he shut downs and shuts me out. Furthermore, I’m stable in my career and ready to move to be with him however, with the recent move coming up he states he wants to do this alone for now. Should that have me concerned that he doesn’t feel ready to close the distance or should I be proud that he wants to tackle his issues before making the leap with me?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read.

[erwin1973]

I’m worried that history may repeat itself.

History only repeats itself when previous made mistakes are not learned from...

I’m stable in my career and ready to move to be with him however, with the recent move coming up he states he wants to do this alone for now. Should that have me concerned that he doesn’t feel ready to close the distance or should I be proud that he wants to tackle his issues before making the leap with me?

Dit you ask him that?

LDR is hard, you know that already. But it can work - only if both are willing in to put enough effort. As I understand, he is not doing enough to keep you happy - or at least the first time he didn't. Are you prepared to go through all that again? The waiting, the breaking up, and then when he comes back do it all over? And what if he has to go away for a third time?

I'm not saying here you should break up, I am just thinking out loud. I am a big fan of second chances but there are times when you have to be the wisest. I think the wisest now is to tell him your worries as you stated here, especially the last one (the one I made bold). It seems to be very important for you to stay in contact while he is away. And to be honest, communication is all you have in an LDR. Without it, what is left of the relationship, right? My opinion, of course.

But yeah, I think you should ask him if he is really ready and committed. If so, try it. If not, you have your answer.

[Redheart14]

There's a lot of advice out there on ways to manage an LDR you just have to both agree to what will work for you.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aqSZtaFL2hg