Handling LDR depression ?

[mpmuffin]

Well me And my boyfriend just started a LDR about a month ago. We are both in college but, I attend school about half the day, get home and eat, and then go work at a veterinary clinic. What be does is attend school for only anhour a day and the. Goes home to do nothing. So the problem here is that my SO is beginning to feel that all he does is think about me because he has nothing to do and so he feels it's affecting him and getting depressed because he misses me so much. So he thinks that being a little more serious and less lovey dovey and like me calling him instead( he says he feels like calling me every hour just cause he misses me) in order to make things better on him. But since I spend most of my day busy I dont want that because I'm scared that due to not talking as much maybe we don't progress in this LDR thing. I know the obvious thing for him toget better s for binturong something to do but I have no idea how long that will take him and I'm also a bit scared of wha if he tries to find confort in someone else because he has like no friends there. Any comments or opinions or suggestions ??? Please help.

[Edyn]

I would suggest that he definitely needs to find something to do. Maybe he could find a job to keep himself more occupied?

[pytsip]

I take it he's the one who left? If that's the case, give him time to adjust. Eventually he'll find friends, and it won't be as hard on him. I think at this time, maybe if you talked with him about your concerns with him placing the responsibility on you.

At the same time, encourage him to go out and meet people, don't think about how the people he meets might replace you, because obviously he cares a lot about you, but you need to let him know that it's ok to meet people and that for this time apart to go quickely and for each of you to somewhat enjoy your time instead of living in depression, that you both, not just you, but both of you need to have other activities, other friends etc. Maybe encourage him to get involved in on campus activities, maybe join a fraternity if his school has those, or do intramural sports, etc.

[Silviar]

Well, if he feels like he's doing nothing, then I would suggest he get a job, volunteer, or find an absorbing hobby that makes him happy. There's nothing you can make him do, he has to decide ot do it himself. All you can do is be supportive and encourage him.

A relationship progresses day by day, no matter how much you spend time together. It's what you do with that time that matters.

[XX, Lexi]

Before my SO started working and going to school, he was the same way. All he would do all day was sit around and get mad at me whenever I wanted to go out with my friends. It was a mess before he started working and such.

I would also suggest that he either get a job, if he doesn't have one already, or find a hobby, perhaps volunteering. That's an easy way to make friends. There's really nothing you can do, hun, just gotta push him and hope for the best.
Best of luck<3

[Mio]

Maybe he can try to find a part time job. And never forget to make an effort on communication during the day, like texting in your break or something, so he feels that you are thinking on him.

[Zephii]

Ask him to do something or make something for you, so he feels useful

[giraffessssssss]

He should try to join a club or something at his school. That way he'll keep busy too. Other than that. All you guys need is time to adjust.

[paulawriteslove]

I think he needs to find something to do while you're busy. Maybe get a job or hang out with friends?

[Élan]

My situation is quite different, but I've been feeling like your SO lately. I've kept myself busy by studying, picking up a hobby, seeing friends.... but I just feel so blank and unenthusiastic when I do it because he's not here with me. If trying to stay busy and finding hobbies/friends don't work for him, he could try seeing a counselor. Most schools offer counseling services for free. I felt a little reluctant to schedule my appointment, but now I am looking forward to it. I agree with everyone else that finding a hobby or a job is the best strategy, but counseling is a possibility if that doesn't take away his sadness.