Just need advise.... or someone to talk to who understands what I’m going through...

[Kayy1225]

Help! I need some advise or someone to talk to!
I have been with my boyfriend for two years now and it hasn’t been the easiest! He is away A LOT for work! He works as a welder/oil fielder and his hours vary quite frequently! But the past week or so his phone broke and he’s been on the clock since Monday and it is now almost Friday so he hasn’t been able to make it to Verizon to get a new phone! So he’s been borrowing a friends to talk to me but obviously it’s his friends phone so he can’t have it always! So needless to say I have barely spoken to him and it’s really getting to me! It is hard being in a relationship where you don’t get to see each other! It’s even harder when you relying on speaking and that is slowly taken away from you too!
There are studies that say the oil field industry has a high percentile rate of ruining relationships. I really don’t want to be a part of that statistic! I am very strong and believe greatly in my relationship!!
I think I more so just need someone to talk to and tell me everything will be okay! It’s just very hard for me right now and I have told him how I feel and he takes it personally and is now upset and feels he is to blame.... I know he can’t help the hours he is forced to work! And I know he can’t help his phone broke, I just feel like it’s so unfair!!!!

[autumn1790]

You can talk to me, I've been in a similar situation..

[hmrambling]

Welcome to LFAD!

There are studies that say the oil field industry has a high percentile rate of ruining relationships.

So does the law enforcement, so does military, so does emergency medicine...

Relationships take 2 willing individuals, regardless of their career. I was a correctional officer and had long term relationships. I am an Army Veteran and had long term relationships. And I currently serve as a medical advocate for sexual trauma survivors, and I am in a long term relationship now.

Yes, distance is hard. I understand what you're going through.

Here is advice from my own experience that I offer to folks who get caught up in waiting for the next text from their partner:

Are you a student? If yes, go to school. Focus on school.
Are you gainfully employed? If yes, go to work and be present at work.
Have friends? If yes, spend time with them. Enjoy yourself.
Have hobbies? If yes, spend time on your hobbies.
Have family? If yes, spend time with them.
Have interests? If yes, spend time on those things you are interested in.
Have internet? Read about the stages of relationships so that you will be knowledgeable about how relationships grow.
Exercised today? If not, go for a walk or jog or bike ride. Get active.
If you answered no to all of the above, change your life so that you can answer yes to some of these things.

Be a whole person so that you can be a whole person in a relationship. Become a priority and have a great relationship with yourself. Do not rely on your partner to complete you. Be a complete person whose partner is a positive addition to your life.

[Kayy1225]

Thank you for lending and open ear! It’s just harder most days than others. He works in a dangerous environment and not getting to hear from him makes me nervous!!