Getting back together...?

[TristenLove]

As some of you may remember, I recently broke up with my boyfriend, Mic, who's stationed in Guam.

Well, we've been discussing the possibility of getting back together.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I love him, and I do miss him. But I'm thinking that I'd like to take a 'dating' approach to it rather than rushing back into a relationship.

How would you suggest doing so in an LDR?

There may possibly plans for me to go visit the week of Thanksgiving, since I'll be laid off.

[Čternity]

Did you break it off, or him, and why? (if you are happy to share that is) This maybe a good opportunity to work on whatever the issue was before making that sort of commitment again.

[agentholli]

Eternity asked what I was thinking...

[TristenLove]

I was the one who called for a 'separation', but it was a mutual break up.There were a lot things that needed to be worked on on his end. Like finalizing his divorce.

[Čternity]

There were a lot things that needed to be worked on on his end. Like finalizing his divorce.

That's pretty big. It's not unreasonable for you to want that. I'm not sure how you do 'dating' in an LDR. I'm thinking it's just being friends who talk :S I'm guessing he didn't want to resolve these things last time which is why you broke up. Is he talking about fixing this up this time before you move forward? I'm guessing that would be the minimum to go into a full LDR again? I'd probably have a 'bottom line' before I started up again.

If by 'dating' you mean seeing other people including him, I knew of one person who 'dated' but didn't sleep with, several guys including one guy who was long distance and a two others close distance but wouldn't commit to any of them until they sorted out various issues.

I guess just keep talking for the time being and see if he is willing to resolve the issues that ended it the first time around. Do things differently for a different result. Hope it works out for you. I really do.

[Silviar]

I think, if he hasn't resolved the things he needs to in the time you've been apart, that you should stay apart and not date. The divorce and the other things were big deals, not little things, and they take time to resolve - not just materially, but mentally and emotionally.

If you want to be his friend and support, offer that, but I would stay firm on not dating him until more of his issues are fully resolved. I hope it works out, and that you going by his side as a friend will really help both of you show just how much you can rely on one another.

[annamorgan]

Work through everything not as a official couple and see if that bond is still there, then worry about getting back together again.

[paulawriteslove]

I think you two need to work through your struggles slowly! Don't rush into things!