Me and my boyfriend have been together a little over a year now, and have known each other for 5 years. I've been noticing that, I'm getting irritable when we talk, it's like I don't even really want to talk to him. I have been quite stressed this year due to me starting school, family issues, etc. He knows this, and we both have talked about it and I feel awful about it. I feel very touchy when we talk, and things have been striking nerves. We do talk basically all day, meaning through actual chat, so a reply within a few seconds, and also vocally during the night. Is it because we talk so much, or what? I do like my alone time, and when I'm not talking to him, I'm usually with my mom helping out with my sister's children. So I don't usually get any alone time to myself. I know it's important to talk a lot during these kind of relationships, but I feel smothered sometimes. I feel awful though if I say I need space, because I feel a sense of guilt knowing I'm not doing anything and I should be talking to my boyfriend. My romantic feelings feel a bit off too. Back in November he did something that severely hurt me and we have talked about it multiple times, but ever since then I haven't felt quite the same. I don't always feel like being lovey dovey when he does, and I just find that to be odd. I mean I don't know much about relationships, and I do know that most of them do get to the point where you enter different stages, but how do I know if it's just a stage or just me?
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From the looks of it, you do need some time alone. With LDR you want to video, call, chat as much as possible to compensate the distance seperating you, but that doesn't mean you have to give up your alone time and talk every single moment you are free. You still want to do your own things and it's perfectly fine. It feels like because of this, you are getting suffocated and not able to breathe, therefore you are getting easily irritated. It might get a little messy or hard in the beginning if you break the habit of when you both talk and stuff in the beginning, but bear with it.
About what he did in november, not sure what he did, but it might still be bothering you somewhere in your heart. I have done things too to hurt my girl and so have she and it takes time to recover from these. This could also be one of the reason for your irritation. These kind of things is not something that can be settled immediately though. As long as you love each other, it will get better sooner or later and become just a memory of the past, replaced by better and happier memories. We are all humans after all and we make mistakes and you both have talked about it. Who knows if one day you will make a mistakes too and hurt him. Hurting each other is bad, but it's also a part of love and that's how you both grow together as lovers. The most important is that you love each other.
You can try to tell him how you feel and that you need some alone time. I think it's the better way to do it actually, since if you suddenly chat less with him or talk less, he might get many imaginations and ideas for it (like maybe you don't love him anymore etc). So maybe discuss it with him.
For reference, me and my girl had a few moments like this too. At the beginning i was using my every moment to be with her with she told me might be a little bit too much, so i toned it down. Later on it went vice versa and she wanted more time with me. Sometimes i wanted more time with her and felt she not puting enough time on me. And there was some periods where i felt i wanted more alone time and do what i wanna do, kinda just like you. So it's perfectly normal but how you go through these periods is up to you both. But no worries, love always prevails in the end (y). As long as you love each other, everything will be fine
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