Feeling neglected.

[bgoodell12]

Lately there has been a big struggle between my SO and I. He just got back from basic in Dec. , and we spent the whole Christmas break together (3 weeks) it was so nice to be around him all the time. But he left to go back to school in January, and it was harder than ever to say goodbye to him.

After 2 years of an LDR, I finally decided i'm going to move out there and go to school. This is a huge change for me, because I've never moved away from home, and I'm very close with my parents. The thing is, i'm happy to do it. Derick has way too many obligations to move, and there is nothing really keeping me here in my home town anymore. I'm ready for a new experience, and to meet new people, and of course to be with Derick again. But at the same time, he doesn't understand how scary it is for me. He's moved around his whole life, and bounced back and forth between his separate families, and already has his life completely established in Colorado. Moving 13 hours away from the whole thing I know, scares me. I need his support and understanding. He needs to be there for me, and I need reassurance that everything is going to be okay. I've told him this, and for some reason I just keep feeling neglected.

Since he's gotten back to Colorado, he's so busy with everything that I never even hear from him anymore. I feel like I have to nag him to want to call me, and want to do nice things for me. I think this is partly because
1) I'm moving there in 3 months.
2) We've been together for the past 3 weeks

I just don't feel like he's fully committed to this LDR anymore, even though we'll still have to be in one for the next 3 months.

[JoMarie]

As soon as I read this the first thing that came to mind is that everybody has a different way to deal with things. I'm wondering if the lack of attention has to do with him preparing himself to finally be with you for good? Maybe it scares him that you won't feel the same once you're for good. Sometimes guys pull away from what scares them rather then to get as emotionally involved as girls do. I'm not sure, but it's a possibility.

[folclor]

I know what you mean about the move. =/ I'm planning to move from Texas to Canada eventually (which could mean next year or two years from now or...who knows?) but the idea is frightening. I've never moved before, either, and my boyfriend constantly did when he was young, so I sympathize. *hugs* Maybe you can find an easier way for communication? Does he like using computers? Possibly a messenger/webcam situation?

[MadMolly]

I act sort of like this after a visit. For the last few months, I've been VERY slack on keeping up contact and being a good conversationalist. Eventually we just decided to not talk on the phone so much as I just wasn't in the mood for chatting recently! This is because right after a visit, I feel sort of "meh" about everything and there's nothing I hate more than getting back on the phone/IM after he leaves because it's a reminder that we're back to the old distance thing. I usually leave it a week or so before I start to talk again. :P Also he's moving here soon so we're talking less and "planning" more (unless of course when we visit eachother, which is all awesometimes). I guess maybe he is like that in a way. He might just feel very comfortable because he knows you're moving there so he feels more relaxed and confident in the relationship and therefore doesn't put as much effort in! (Which I'm not saying is a good thing, lol!)