Well, crap!

[xsethx]

Okay, so tonight went south, very fast. My girlfriend called after getting off of work to tell me we needed to talk. She fessed up that she hasn't felt that spark for the past few weeks and it's been difficult and is starting to doubt things. I understood, felt like it was a natural possibility, and asked her to try to hold it out 3 more weeks, because I'll be home and spending 5 very long days with her and then talk and judge how we feel then. We're not gonna talk til Sunday so she has space to consider what I said and wrap her head around things. I'm not sure what to think, whether I should be optimistic, pessimistic, neutral what. Maybe looking for any good stories that had a similar bump that I can share with her? I just feel like once we see eachother, it's going to change everything.

[Silviar]

I wish I had some good stories, but I think your response was very good - adjusting ot LDR spark versus SD spark is hard, and she's gotta learn to deal. And honestly, at least she knows when she'll see you again.

[Čternity]

Can you email her an e-card and let her know how you feel? Give her some encouragement and supportive words in the card to keep going? You don't want to over do it but maybe a different card every few days to lift her spirits - I use ones LFAD links to https://cards.lovingyou.com/?mdb=gallery&cat=ldr

[LadyMarchHare]

Maybe something's been up on her end that's wearing her down and giving her negative thoughts? I know a few times situational stress or depression will leak into other aspects of your life, relationships included. Plus if you guys have been together before, it may just be a matter of seriously missing that aspect of the relationship.

At this point I wouldn't look too far into it since it's not sounding like a breakup impending, just more that she needs a little help getting the flame going again for her while you're not within arms' reach. Stay positive, stay supportive, assure her you love and care for her, and maybe do what Eternity suggested. Just little things to try and get her to smile through the next 3 weeks.

[annamorgan]

Just give her time, I'm in a state of mind like that right now, so I know how she feels. I agree with your decision, it will be easier to talk about it in person.

[xsethx]

Thanks guys. I'm getting away for the weekend to get my mind of things and talk with her again in a few days and see how she feels, whether she can hold on the 3 weeks or calling it quits now. I just have a feeling if she calls it quits, I'll go there when I go home and she'll feel that spark again.

[Bluestars]

I think we both have felt that occasionally. In fact, my boyfriend has told me that once and I flipped a lid and got horribly upset (not the way to handle it!). He really just wanted to be able to talk to me about it, and we worked it out. It all goes back to the distance for us. Whenever we are in person, everything is rainbow-colored, but sometimes it is hard for us to remember that what we have is special.

I do not know your exact situation--whether or not you have always been LDR or if you were originally CD--but maybe this is the case for her? Sometimes my boyfriend will feel like this when we get to much into a routine, so maybe you could try spicing things up? Try to surprise her and do something different. We mostly talk on the phone, but when we feel this way webcamming more often can help. But really, you just need to stress that you will be home in three weeks. Like I said before, visits have saved our relationship; they are what keep us going.

Good luck!

[paulawriteslove]

Get your mind off of things and don't over analyze!

[xsethx]

Thanks guys. I said hey briefly online lastnight to tell her the story of how I just outran a tornado on my drive yesterday and to say hope she was having a good day, was really considering my points and could we talk on Sunday. So that's the plan. I've talked to one of my best friends who was in my girlfriends position but said once the visit happened, it was aamzing and it got easier each time after. On Sunday, I'm going to continue to stress that it's only 3 weeks and we've been together for over four years. I was also considering just writing up a few of our amazing fun or rmantic memories just as a reminder of how great things are when we're together. I just have a feeling that if we break it off, I'll go up in 3 weeks and she'll say what was I thinking and want to get back together because of how amazing things are and last year when we were on "a break" the feelings never really left for us. I just need to come up with something to say when she asks how can I make it 3 more weeks feeling like I'm not being how I should and not feeling the spark 100percent?