I need your advice

[autumn1790]

Goodbye is a pretty final word to use...you might want to think your words through more if you really want her back. Text messages can be interpreted many different ways.

[IzzyBloom]

Goodbye is a pretty final word to use...you might want to think your words through more if you really want her back. Text messages can be interpreted many different ways.

Yeah, well... we've been also talking after that.
I told her if there is still a tiny chance for us to work it out (I know she still wants me deep down), then she should let me know and we will Skype and talk about the origin of our problem. Then I said "I'll be here".
Man... I will never be so demanding to any of my girlfriends. I didn't know it was so frustrating for her. If we still date someday after this... I will believe in God.

Thank you everyone, I will keep you guys updated

[erwin1973]

If I may give you a small piece of advice - and it is not always easy to do this... - if you ever feel the urge to be demanding again, put yourself in her position, how would you feel if someone is asking you the same question over and over again. Again, I know it's difficult, but it might help.
Good luck, I hope it works out with you two.

[IzzyBloom]

If I may give you a small piece of advice - and it is not always easy to do this... - if you ever feel the urge to be demanding again, put yourself in her position, how would you feel if someone is asking you the same question over and over again. Again, I know it's difficult, but it might help.
Good luck, I hope it works out with you two.

What drove her away was me complaining about the same little details for years... until she gave up. But yes... I will try to put myself in her position and love her for who she is.

Thank you, Erwin.

[erwin1973]

My pleasure.

[IzzyBloom]

My pleasure.

Guys... I keep talking to her more than I should. And she just ignores me. I feel like I'm going crazy again. Why doesn't she just block me or tell me to leave her alone instead of having me wait? She is not in love with me anymore. She is really mad at me. What am I even waiting for? it's been 5 days since she told me to give her time.

[Littlewhiteflower]

She told you to GIVE HER TIME. If she is ignoring you too, it means "leave me alone". You don't need a drawing at your age. Stop sending her messages. Especially if she ignore you. At this point, it is almost called harassment. Leave her alone. she told you she is not in love anymore. the only thing you can do is move on and you can't move on if you keep sending her messages. Yes she might come back. But it's not going to happen before a while or it might never happen...especially if you don't leave her alone as she asked you. Let her breath.

You need to seek help honestly. You pushed her away and it's finished now and you're still pushing her even more by attempting to talk to her. When someone decides it's finished, there's nothing you can do. You're lucky she hasn't ghosted you. She told it to you words for words. You'll have to accept it but at this point, I think you need help. Sorry.

[IzzyBloom]

She told you to GIVE HER TIME. If she is ignoring you too, it means "leave me alone". You don't need a drawing at your age. Stop sending her messages. Especially if she ignore you. At this point, it is almost called harassment. Leave her alone. she told you she is not in love anymore. the only thing you can do is move on and you can't move on if you keep sending her messages. Yes she might come back. But it's not going to happen before a while or it might never happen...especially if you don't leave her alone as she asked you. Let her breath.

You need to seek help honestly. You pushed her away and it's finished now and you're still pushing her even more by attempting to talk to her. When someone decides it's finished, there's nothing you can do. You're lucky she hasn't ghosted you. She told it to you words for words. You'll have to accept it but at this point, I think you need help. Sorry.

Do you really think it's finished when she sends me pictures of US. And I ask her if she misses those times when I used to make her feel like a princess and she goes "Yes".
Does that seem to be finished for you?

And also when I say good morning and she says "good morning + Ismaelly" (cute name she made up a long time ago).
And when she says she likes it when I say good morning and good night to her?

Yes, I should stop talking to her. And I already did. But don't tell me it's finished because it's not. Especially since she said everything wasn't ruined yet and that I own the shell of her heart. She misses me, but she is hurt, really hurt.
I really wish I could agree with you, I would already be trying to move on. Trust me.

[Littlewhiteflower]

Then give her the space she asks for. It means you stop texting her for a while. she will come back to you if that is what she wants. Its not because you're a woman that you don't need the same space as a man. Sometimes we just need time alone to fix things within ourselves. Understand that.

It's not because someone tell me they miss those passed moments that it's not finished. Someone can miss the past and still see no future and no present with a person. She misses it because she was happy during those time. She is not anymore and she might never be again.

Saying good morning and good night doesn't mean it's not finished either. It can be just a polite way to continue to be in contact with the other without seeking more than friendship. I don't know. I'm not in her head. It doesn't mean she doesn't need to be left ALONE for a while. Sorry.

She told you she is hurt. Respect that and stop messaging her. Leave her alone. Give her space. That's what she asked for.

[IzzyBloom]

Then give her the space she asks for. It means you stop texting her for a while. she will come back to you if that is what she wants. Its not because you're a woman that you don't need the same space as a man. Sometimes we just need time alone to fix things within ourselves. Understand that.

It's not because someone tell me they miss those passed moments that it's not finished. Someone can miss the past and still see no future and no present with a person. She misses it because she was happy during those time. She is not anymore and she might never be again.

Saying good morning and good night doesn't mean it's not finished either. It can be just a polite way to continue to be in contact with the other without seeking more than friendship. I don't know. I'm not in her head. It doesn't mean she doesn't need to be left ALONE for a while. Sorry.

She told you she is hurt. Respect that and stop messaging her. Leave her alone. Give her space. That's what she asked for.

I really don't agree with you. I understand missing someone, but I don't understand telling them after breaking up. Especially if you're so hurt and mad at them. IMO, of course.

But yeah, who knows? Only she is in her head and I'll give her time. I'm so impulsive I can't control my actions sometimes.
I never thought love could make me go this crazy, jeez.
Thank you, thank you. I'm definitely the new maniac on this forum.

[Littlewhiteflower]

I don't think we can be much of help for you dear. Yes a forum is great because you can discuss issues, but you shouldn't rely on that only. I told it in a previous messages. Turn off your devices. Take a step back to think about what happened. Look at your past behaviour. Look at the behaviour you have right now. Try to understand why you feel the way you feel. It's normal to be sad or to be mad or angry or desperate. You've spent part of your life with this person it's normal. But at this point, there's nothing more you can do. She needs this space and the more you act needy and the more you seek for reassurance or the more you text her, the more you'll push her away.

We wrote over 50 messages to try and help you. Maybe you should just re-read them. Take some distance too toward all this. I feel like you're a bit overwhelmed by all this and cannot see clearly. I know you want to fix things, but you cannot fix it for her. She needs to do it alone. She needs to do it for herself.

I know it's hard. I understand. But if she is ignoring you, if she asked for space, you have no other things to do than respect her wishes....even if it makes you anxious or sad. I think you both need some alone time to let the storm behind you. You still sound fully overwhelmed by the emotions and there's nothing you can fix when both partner feel this way.

[Littlewhiteflower]

I didn't say you were maniac or crazy. I never said that on all the messages I wrote on this thread.

You can definitively miss someone even if you just broke up. You've spent part of your life with someone and now it's finished. It's normal to miss the person or what you had with this person. I think she is more hurt than mad at you. You need to let her go through those emotions though.

Just give her some space. She might come back to you as she might not. Who knows? But we cannot take a decision for her.

[IzzyBloom]

I didn't say you were maniac or crazy. I never said that on all the messages I wrote on this thread.

You can definitively miss someone even if you just broke up. You've spent part of your life with someone and now it's finished. It's normal to miss the person or what you had with this person. I think she is more hurt than mad at you. You need to let her go through those emotions though.

Just give her some space. She might come back to you as she might not. Who knows? But we cannot take a decision for her.

Yes, you can miss someone as I said, but not tell them... I think. Especially when you are really hurt with them. I honestly would have moved on if I knew for sure she doesn't want me anymore. Who knows though, I will let you guys know in a week or whenever she talks to me.
I know you didn't call me crazy, but I feel like I am haha.

I have some presents here for her I was supposed to give her in 3 months... would it be a good idea to send her them? not right now, I don't know the appropriate time. I just want her to have them.

[Littlewhiteflower]

I think you should ask her before sending them if she wants them. If she says no, then just give them to your little sister or to someone else. It depends whether or not she decides to come back honestly. If she moves on, receiving gifts will probably just reopen the wounds.

If my SO and I were to break up, I'd send him back the clothes he still have at my place and some other stuff. But I wouldn't send him gifts even if I would have got them for him. I don't know. It's just an hypothesis as I can't really tell how I'd react.

Just give yourself time. But don't send anything right now.

[autumn1790]

Yeah, well... we've been also talking after that.
I told her if there is still a tiny chance for us to work it out (I know she still wants me deep down), then she should let me know and we will Skype and talk about the origin of our problem. Then I said "I'll be here".
Man... I will never be so demanding to any of my girlfriends. I didn't know it was so frustrating for her. If we still date someday after this... I will believe in God.

Thank you everyone, I will keep you guys updated

I think one issue you have is not believing she can really have her own mind. Maybe she has her own ideas about wanting you deep down. Maybe she doesn't feel like you always treated her like a princess. I think sometimes people, especially guys (not trying to be sexist), need to feel a sense of control over a messy situation. You need to let go and realize you have no control over the outcome, and messaging her and cornering her into saying she misses you is not the way to go. You need to occupy your mind with something else...go on a wilderness backpacking trip or something, something that changes your focus and gets you away from your phone...