I need your advice

[erwin1973]

I am not going to write what I think, because then I'll be blocked. Whatever we give you for advice, you're not listening to us anyway. So I say: do what you want, you've been doing so ever since you started this thread.
Good luck, Izzy.
This is my last post here. Bye.

[IzzyBloom]

I am not going to write what I think, because then I'll be blocked. Whatever we give you for advice, you're not listening to us anyway. So I say: do what you want, you've been doing so ever since you started this thread.
Good luck, Izzy.
This is my last post here. Bye.

Don't come back, please. You've been incomprehensive and rude since the very beginning.
You've brought negativeness when I did things you don't think I should have done, you haven't said a word when I've done things you think I should have done.

[Allurial]

I can promise you no one here would think it’s a good idea to contact her in 15 days asking to be friends. Especially since we’ve all been pretty persistent that she needs her space to heal. You’ve constantly said this as well but yet somehow have been talking a lot. You need to give her the space she wants and needs, the space you’ve been struggling to give her this whole time. The advice that has been echoed this whole time still stands though - go seek professional help. You’ve admitted the relationship is over - now is a great time to work on yourself so that this won’t happen again.

If your Ex still wants to be friends she will find a way to contact you when she’s ready, as of right now you have no control over the relationship you two have. Honestly that’s for the best don’t try and take control - after all you are the one who messed things up so she should be the one to reach out when SHE is ready. Without any added pressure from you, however I’m with Erwin as well. I’ve said enough, it’s up to you to go get the help you need which after 11 pages of this I hope you realize would be an good idea. We aren’t professionals just other people with similar experiences and stories. Best of luck, I hope you find happiness and the answers you seek.

[Lio]

Izzy, you're the rude one. By always having anything to say to the advices we gave you. We listened to you, told you what we think is the best to do, however you never listened to any of us, and even called one of us "clueless" - and if I was her, I would not help you more as she did. And Erwin's post about you telling how to treat our partner says what almost all of us think. How can someone who "behaved like an asshole" towards his girlfriend tell us what to do, when he doesn't listen to our advices ?! That must be a complete joke. You didn't show us any will to change.

[erwin1973]

You've been incomprehensive and rude since the very beginning.

[The Doctor]

Ok for starters IzzyBloom, what kind of person would come here, ask for advice? and then just because they don't agree with what everyone is saying here. Then begin to say that the people here are the ones in the wrong? Yet you have proven with post after post that you are clearly the one who is bordering on stalker levels now. Just leave the girl in question well enough alone as it's clear they don't want anything to do with you. Walk away from this forum, leave and never return.

We only help people that also want to help themselves and also actually want to take our advice on board. Instead of twisting things to 'suit you'

[Littlewhiteflower]

This is also my last post on this thread.

When I first came on this forum, I came here to seek advices and I received advices I did not agree with. Just like you. I thought that my SO was the problem, because I did not want to understand that I might have been the problem. It was frustrating for me to read the advices of other people who did not seem to understand what I was going through. It's only through therapy and work on myself that I started having an happier relationship and that I started being happier with the person I am today, because the problem wasn't my SO. It was me.

You don't need to see a psychologist during 10 years. I know those services are expensive and not all covered by insurances. You could just go see a social worker for a few times. That's what I did and as my means were limited, I consulted her a few times and made the rest of the journey on myself by myself. I don't know everything about relationship. Honestly, even after 2 years with my fiancé, I still learn every day about myself and about my relationship. I'm not an expert. I'm far from being perfect. I have trust issues, self-esteem issues and anxiety issues, but I'm working on them and that is honestly all that matter. My SO has been understanding during this work I was doing on myself, but I did not count of him to solve them. He is not in my life to fix anything that is wrong with me. He is in my life to be by my side.

You seeked help on this forum, but you refused to hear us. We all said the same thing. We all told you to give her time, space. We told you to let her breath, but you did not follow our advices and you replied harshly to many people here. I remember once you asked someone if he had already "been broken up or have been about to break up with his SO?". I found this comment innapropriate, because he was trying to help you and you refused to hear it by telling him indirectly, "Who are you to tell me what to do or what do you know about relationship to tell me that".

If we are on this forum, Izzy, it's because at some points, we needed advices. We all went through ups and downs with our SO. No relationship are perfect. I went close from breaking up with my partner. He asked for space. I gave him space and we are engaged today. That's why I told you many times to give her the space she needed. If we are on this forum, if we give advices, it's because we think we have the experience to help others. I don't reply to threat I don't think I can help.

You need to go ask for some professional help once you're ready to get this help. There's no point paying for a therapy if you refuse to hear what the therapist has to tell you. There is no point asking us for help, if you insult those who helps you. It is like if you try to stop smoking. There's no point trying to quit when you know deep down that it is not what you want to do. If you don't have the will to change, you won't change. I tried to convince my SO to quit smoking many times. He stopped, a few days, but started again, because he did not want to hear me. I had experiences. One of my relatives suffered from a tongue cancer which killed her. I told him many times that, but it is only when he got sick that he understood he needed to change an habit that could kill him. What I'm trying to tell you here, is that the desire to improve yourself has to come from within you. I can write you a novel here, but if you're in the denial, it won't change anything.

The last thing I want to tell you is: Don't contact her anymore. Don't ask her to be your friend. You need to move on. You cannot move on in 15 days. I'm sorry, but you can't and if you can do it, it's because you were not really in love with this woman. It take time to turn the page and to say, "yes, we can be friend". Let her come to you. This relationship is already damaged enough. The only thing you need to do now is work on yourself and accept what happened. You need to learn from this experience and grow up out of it. There's no need to force communication. You want to ask for friendship when you asked her to block you. It does not make any sense to me and you need to see it yourself to understand what we are trying to tell you.

I wish you the very best, dear. If it did not work with her, it's because it wasn't your destiny to be with her and someone better might come in your life one day.
Keep believing in life and try to be happy.

[erwin1973]

I remember once you asked someone if he had already "been broken up or have been about to break up with his SO?".

Yeah, he told me that.
I think it's best we leave this thread for what it is. We all tried our best, and we sad what we thought would be in the best interest of OP. It's up to him now. I'm sorry it didn't work out for him.

[IzzyBloom]

Guess what, guys.

She's been hiding her 'romance' with him all along. Her parents are really mad. He is 10 years older, married and has a kid.
I'm shocked. I had a good reason tho to block her and definitely get over her.