first time meeting - advice

[easymangos456]

i found this site last night while trying to find someone i can relate to, but i can’t find anything that explains my situation.

i’ve been speaking to this guy for 5 months and he’s honestly the nicest, kindest person that i’ve ever talked to (not that i have much experience) - two days ago, i decided to go and meet him (it was scary because i took 2 trains to get there and had NO IDEA where i was going). anyway i stayed over and these 2 days were honestly the best that i’ve ever had, i’ve never smiled so much and this was just what i needed after having a really shit time with other things recently. when i was packing to go, i started crying and i feel so stupid because i’m not an emotional person and i’m such an ugly crier - i feel as though i’ve ruined things before they’ve even started really. i don’t even know why i was crying, i think i was happy for the time we’ve had together and sad that it had ended and i had to go back to my normal life. he told me that he’d had such a good time with me but he’s sad because the last thing he’ll remember with our first date is me being upset. after that i stopped crying and carried on enjoying our time until my train journey home where i cried more tears than i’ve ever in my life.

i just don’t know what to do and i wanted to just let it out and maybe get some advice or just some support. i really like this guy and i’m so annoyed at the world for the situation that we’re in - it’s so hard. i’m feeling really emotional now, sitting alone without him, and my chest feels really heavy. i’m scared for our future and i just don’t know what to say to him. if anyone has similar experience or can offer me any advice or guidance, i would appreciate that so much, thank you.

[autumn1790]

My only advice is don't be ashamed to cry, and I really hope he didn't make you feel ashamed. Your SO is supposed to be the one you can truly be yourself with, so if he makes you feel bad for being yourself.... (Not saying he did, but I really hope he didn't.) Long distance is tough, it sucks, but it really can work. I've known my dude four years long distance, been together 3.25 years. Allow yourself time to grieve and miss his presence, then pull up your boot straps and get back to life. Plan the next visit! It can work!

[easymangos456]

My only advice is don't be ashamed to cry, and I really hope he didn't make you feel ashamed. Your SO is supposed to be the one you can truly be yourself with, so if he makes you feel bad for being yourself.... (Not saying he did, but I really hope he didn't.) Long distance is tough, it sucks, but it really can work. I've known my dude four years long distance, been together 3.25 years. Allow yourself time to grieve and miss his presence, then pull up your boot straps and get back to life. Plan the next visit! It can work!

i’m just finding it really difficult to be away from him because he’s the first person that i’ve ever met and i’m new to these feelings that i’m experiencing, the distance just makes it more confusing - i really enjoyed my time with him and he seems amazing, i really hope it works out for us as it’s working for you!! i really appreciate your time, thank you so much!!

[beester]

Never be afraid to cry... these are real emotions... and you should never be afraid to show them. The world is better because of feelings and emotions like this.

I'm a 41 year old male, and I said good bye to my girlfriend just a couple of days ago. When we said our goodbyes in the airport I was the one crying.. I don't feel ashamed because of this, because it's my real feeling at the time. I felt hurt, a bit lost, sad that we had again to say our goodbyes...

It might become easier, or it might not, but never feel ashamed about your emotions. Keeping it in is not healthy. Also whether you are 12 or 102... if you feel in love, the emotions remain the same whatever your age. Rationally you can think all you want, but feelings are feelings. Be happy that you have them. Live would be so much less without these.

I really hope for you that it works out... Keep your chin up and start planning for a next visit?