Long distance relationship

[Maria Sima]

I have been with my partner 2 years he lives an hour and a half away we have been seeing each other every month. I’m now pregnant with his baby six months he said he is excited wants help and apparently looking into getting a place with me. I had my first scan last December he never came I was not happy we had a massive argument he said he couldn’t get time off work he’s been in job 3byeers now . He cand to the second scan with me he seemed happy he was gonna have a baby with me in January this was. we arranged to meet this weekend he never messaged me morning he was meant to come down I had to ask him if he was coming down he said not coming no reason I call him I asked him why he said because of snow there was trains running we had aregiment then hung up phone I called him back we spoke normally I asked him does he care about me and unborn child he saying yes I saying I need to see you more often he saying yes I do care why would you think I don’t care I said I don’t see you enough I asked when am I seeing you again he saying he can’t meet me week later he has cousins wedding apparently to go to only knew about That this week he saying week after 17th of March I said I hope so haven’t seen him since January 31st nearly 5 weeks since I seen him I’m thinking to end it it’s not first time he’s cancelled meeting me it’s happening 4 times before he also has stopped texting like he did before two weeks ago he didn’t message me for 3 days I’m very sad and lonely at the minute as I don’t know when I’m going to see him again he makes promises to meet then cancels any advice please

[Lio]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Firstly, you may not agree with this : I don't know if English is your first language or not. It is not mine, and this is the same for many members of the forum. It would be easier for them if there was more ponctuation, and maybe dividing your post in a few paragraphs. I think it would be easier for them to read it, as it would be more clear than 4 periods in 18 lines. Clearer posts encourage members in reading them, then in giving their opinion.

Now about your post. I usually think, one thing at a time. For example in a long distance relationship, I think that before thinking about making babies, it's important to close the distance. Many couples in a LDR would think so, as the distance is more important than yours with your partner - example, my girlfriend lives 9000 km away, we wait for some months until we can meet again after one visit ends, and in our situation this is not a good idea at all to have a baby. So, closing the distance is a must do, before the question of becoming parents. Your situation is different, as the distance is way shorter.

However, I think your partner could be more commited than he currently is. It may be nice to make babies, but if he's not there for you to show he's committed, to care for you (you're now six months pregnant, he should be more present in my opinion), then there is something wrong. Even though I can understand the reason related to work, for example. But making promises of meeting, then cancelling, is not a serious behaviour at all. Same about not messaging nor calling you for days. Communication is very important in LDRs - then couples have their habits about it.

I would recommend you to have a deep talk with him, you should let him know about your feeling. And, asking him how it's going about him looking into getting a place with you. Make sure this is something he will fulfill - or any promise of meeting, but he has to do anything to show commitment.

Good luck.

[robinbond]

Hello there, It is very difficult to be in a long distance relationship. I agree with your post that before making babies you need to close the distance between your relationship physically and mentally. You need to have a good chat with him about your relationship and tell him that what are you thinking about your bright future. I know this is a tough time for you and you need to cope with it. There are also professionals who are expert in guiding you and suggest you to take a good step to cure your relationship. I have heard positive reviews about martine-voyance from my friend who helps to cure relationship. I think you can also take the help of them.