Hey. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. We met through friends and then I went back home (200km away) and continued to talk. After two months of that, we couldn't deny that we wanted more so we met up again and began a physical relationship as well. We see each other almost every two weeks. When they honeymoon stage faded, I noticed him get more comfortable and make less effort to talk and engage during our time apart. He has his hobbies and they keep him occupied. As he became less engaged, I became more self conscious.. Wondering what is wrong. I fight through that all the time now (and there are less bad days than good!). I was going to move to him after a job opportunity came up, but having pets was making it difficult to find a place to live.. And I own property. I ended up turning it down and continuing work where I am. He's got stable work but hasn't finished mastering his trade ticket. He's not very financially responsible, which is something that worries me moving there because I have so much stability where I am. He doesn't want to move to where I live (small town). I worry now about our relationship as we get closer to our 3rd year doing this that he will not make a commitment to his work/finances/to the relationship. I want to get married and have atleast one kid. I feel like I would feel more comfortable with the instability of moving if he appeared to be more committed something in his life besides his hobbies. I feel as time goes on, he is getting more comfortable in this and doesn't seem fazed by continuing going long distance. He does want to finish his trade, to get married, have kids, be together. I just think he is settling, where I want more.
I don't want to be a nag. I do encourage him to do his trade stuff. I talk about finances (I'm pretty good with money). I do talk to him about my feelings every once in awhile. I just feel like the longer it goes on like this, the less he must care about us/the future.
Do you get down on the relationship's direction? Should I give him an ultimatum? Am I wasting my time? Should I just move there and go into the instability?
I don't want to be a nag. I do encourage him to do his trade stuff. I talk about finances (I'm pretty good with money). I do talk to him about my feelings every once in awhile. I just feel like the longer it goes on like this, the less he must care about us/the future.
Do you get down on the relationship's direction? Should I give him an ultimatum? Am I wasting my time? Should I just move there and go into the instability?
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