Can you prepare yourself to say goodbye?

[Talent_2]

I've been at my SOs home for 10 days and I leave him on Saturday, It's tearing me up just thinking about having to say goodbye again but I know I've got to go home. Is there anyway to prepare myself to say goodbye again? Anything to make it easier? I hate saying goodbye :-(

[LadyMarchHare]

I wouldn't think of it as 'goodbye' because that means you won't see each other again. It's more of a 'I'll see you later' sort of thing because, yes you're going home, but you'll still be in contact with him and there will be other visits.

Dwelling on it during the visit only ruins the visit because you spend more time thinking about tomorrow or the next day than today and right now, where you're in their arms and not in a plane or a bus. Just think about the now and when it comes time to part, try to remember it isn't the end, it isn't 'goodbye'.

[Čternity]

Can you book the next visit now so you have something to look forward to?

[Karringtyn]

Can you book the next visit now so you have something to look forward to?

That is what I was going to say. DO ALL you can NOT to focus on that moment of see ya later. Because you will be miserable in the last few moments with him...I always regret doing that.

[will]

My SO tweeted this the other day, and you may have heard it but...I feel like it applies or will apply soon sadly .

"Even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will."

I know that can be hard to keep in mind, but you really have to try. Like LadyMarchHare said above, my advice to you is enjoy all the time you have and try to put off being sad for as long as you can. I think its normal to be sad, but you don't want to spend the whole time you have with him being upset about leaving.

[Dauntedpoet]

Okay here is how I've done it over and over, I tell myself "I choose this life, and this love, separation is a part of it." We plan things to do in the future and have a rough idea of the next visit before we leave each other. We give each other a 'chore' to do when we get home like, text me, email me, or call me, and tell me who the most obnoxious person on the plane was. and most importantly, remember to breathe... I know it sounds trite, but it helps turn off the thoughts of leaving that can ruin a visit, just take a deep breath or two, and then find something to 'thank' the other person for, that way you will focus on them in the moment and not how you're feeling about them. Breathe, breathe, breathe

[lisaar910]

Okay here is how I've done it over and over, I tell myself "I choose this life, and this love, separation is a part of it." We plan things to do in the future and have a rough idea of the next visit before we leave each other. We give each other a 'chore' to do when we get home like, text me, email me, or call me, and tell me who the most obnoxious person on the plane was. and most importantly, remember to breathe... I know it sounds trite, but it helps turn off the thoughts of leaving that can ruin a visit, just take a deep breath or two, and then find something to 'thank' the other person for, that way you will focus on them in the moment and not how you're feeling about them. Breathe, breathe, breathe

That's probably the best advice I've heard about this topic. Well said! I'll definitely be taking that advice in a little over a week when I have to say goodbye to my SO. Thanks!

[XX, Lexi]

I agree. Don't let it get you down while you're there. Think of it has a 'see you later.' Everyone has trouble leaving after seeing their SO, so you're definitely not alone!
When you're on the plane/bus/whatever mode of transportation you're using to get home, distracting yourself, like reading, listening to your personal favorite song or taking deep breaths, is also a good way to keep yourself from breaking down, if you're like me.

[Tanja]

Dwelling on it during the visit only ruins the visit because you spend more time thinking about tomorrow or the next day than today and right now, where you're in their arms and not in a plane or a bus. Just think about the now and when it comes time to part, try to remember it isn't the end, it isn't 'goodbye'.

It's very easy to say that and that's what most people without a doubt try to do... But when the actual moment comes, or a few hours before it's extremely hard and you can not control how you're feeling, no matter how much you try to stay happy and think positive all that's in your mind is that you'll be separated soon...

For me it's always hard and I cry my eyes out at some point, usually when he starts packing and I try not to but it's simply impossible, it just hurts too much to see him go. Again and again. What does help me though is that when I get home I try to keep myself busy, go out with my dogs, talk to other people, watch movies etc, just anything that takes my mind off it.
And you'll always feel better after a goodnight's sleep so get some chuklit, tissues and a nice comfy pillow and don't try to force those sad feelings to go away... Once you've had a good cry you can deal with missing him a lot better!

And of course the more visits you have the better you'll become at dealing with saying goodbye even though it doesn't really get any easier.

[amandamayaaa]

i agree with everyone on here haha

saying goodbye is never easy, some people say it gets easier each time, and i completely disagree. it's never going to be easy because you're never going to want to say bye to him

like dauntepoet said, you chose this relationship that comes with the distance, so you just have to accept it, as hard as that may be

eric and i try and book our next flight, or at least plan the next trip right after the other so we have something to look forward to

just keep thinking it's not goodbye, it's i'll see you later

also keep thinking how lucky you are to have him in your life, even if you can't see him near as much as you want to, he's yours, and you have that person that you know loves you and cares about you immensely.. some people would kill for what you have!

eric just left here on tuesday-and it's been extremely hard getting used to not having him here so we're in the same boat, i just keep trying to stay positive!

keep your head up, everything will be alright

[mynameiseric]

yeah, I have constantly heard that goodbyes just get easier....which is not true. Each time I see her, I get more used to seeing her, and it makes me want to be with her all day everyday.

I love her so much but all I want to do is be with her, which is the only thing I cant have, so its really hard. But I've realized, like Amanda said, we are just lucky to have each other, and we should definitely just be thankful for each other and the time we have until I move to be with her next year

[Yei&Jon]

I came back home a few days ago after spending 17 amazing days with Jon and this time was surprisingly easier for me to say 'see ya later'. Unlike the first time (I'm a cry-baby). He however has had a harder time dealing with it. Again, unlike the first time. (We kinda changed roles) But, of course, there were tears at the airport. Also, the first night without one another was a tear-fest from both of us on webcam. ;~;

Like you, I started thinking about my leave a few days prior to the actual date but not once did I let it ruin the time I had left. I kept having fun with him as if I had another 2 weeks left. There was one night that I let out some tears after he fell asleep. He still caught me. >.<

But, as others mentioned, just enjoy what you have left and always think that you're going to see him again soon. It helped me.

Good luck!

[Pixie]

I have a horrible tendency to cry every time one of us is about to leave. Which sucks because then I feel guilty for making the last few moments we spend together bad! Oops.

[Talent_2]

Thank you for all your advice! I haven't let it ruin our last few days together and I've been keeping my SOs mind off it by keeping us busy but still is real hard to keep my own thoughts off it. Tonights my last night so fingers crossed I can stay strong :-s

[LadyMarchHare]

Thank you for all your advice! I haven't let it ruin our last few days together and I've been keeping my SOs mind off it by keeping us busy but still is real hard to keep my own thoughts off it. Tonights my last night so fingers crossed I can stay strong :-s

Best you can do is smile, even if you're in pain.