I've been involved with a female for about a year now. Met her online and instantly clicked. It was pretty much my first serious LDR after much immature ones. She lives in the same state and we have actually met up earlier this year, first date was great (hugs, kisses, laughing, deep conversations, our past). Lately I've been noticing red flags as far as her communication style. She used to say things like 'babe' and 'I love you' and 'miss you' but I found myself saying that to her with no reciprocation. She tells me she is busy with work and going I school for her AA and I told her I understood. Not trying to be clingy I gave her space. We haven't talked for days and even if her messenger says she is online I won't initate. I do want to just cut it off because obviously she doesn't feel the same way I do anymore. However she does act differently when we are actually in person or even on the phone. But in general I feel like she just isn't as intimate as me. I talk to her about it and she says the same thing: busy, work, school, don't want to talk to anybody (including me). She has a bad past with relationships and showing her emotions so I ease up. She told me she doesnt even talk to other guys either. Sometimes I want to just ask her whats her deal, but I figure she needs space and patience, not a barrage of how I want my needs met. I understand her, just not this behavior. I really do care, but I feel like she doesn't.
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Hi and welcome,
As a relationship develops it changes over time. Just because they don't say that they love and miss you like they used to, doesn't necessarily mean they don't feel that way about you anymore. Sometimes life gets in the way and people don't even realise they aren't reciprocating. If she had stopped being like that in person I'd be worried but it's not like that in person and that's a good sign. However, if you feel you need this type of vaildation in a relationship then you need to come to some sort of agreement where you both make more of a conscious effort to say those things to each other.
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I understand as people change does the potential for the success of a realationship. We have argued and fought in the past, real nasty words.
After 6 months I got into contact with her and made amends and we met up. It went well. That was in early January. I've been trying to set up another date but she is too busy to take one day off and it is frustrating.
Along with not answering calls or texts and talking to me more like a friend than a girlfriend I hardly try anymore but I don't want to give up the relationship even though I feel like she cares less about it than I do.
She still sends me nudes occasionally and does things that make me think that she still cares but doesn't show it like she used to. Obviously our bad past has somewhat damaged the relationship.Comment
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