Parents don’t approve of LDR boyfriend

[at584]

Hi everyone,

I met a boy last year online and we started talking, first only texting until that turned to calling and then eventually FaceTiming. A few months later we finally met as we live about an hour and a half away. After a little while away we decided that we were quite fond of each other and decided to try out a long distance relationship. It has now been 8 months that we have been dating and everything is going smoothly for the most part. The only problem we are dealing with is that I still live with my parents as I am finishing school and they do not approve. For example, my mother had a bad experience with an LDR when she was younger and now is comparing my experience to hers telling me to break up with him. They have now said he isn’t invited to the house anymore and I don’t have a car to go see him. They have said that it has nothing to do with how nice he is. They said they think I’m living in a fantasy world. His parents are total opposite saying that we are adults and we should be able to make a decision as we are both 20 years old.

Feedback is greatly appreciated. And questions for further clarification are welcome !!

[Cheeky_Kea]

Oof, it's hard when your parents are against something, but not impossible! I eventually got a motorcycle through sheer stubbornness, but that's another story.

You have to understand that they're just trying their best to protect you from things they think will hurt you. And really, it's our job as kids to not listen and do it anyway. Your mother being in an ldr that didn't work out will affect her judgement of them negatively, but look around these forums, there are so so many people here that are happy with their choice. I can only say, go for it!

[Msmith]

also a 20-odd yr old

Hiya darl,
same situation for me! my parents also disaprove, except they don't have to worry about visits because he's on the other end of the planet!
I think 1.5 hours is manageable, and there's no culture difference there. The way I'm trying to deal with it is setting boundaries. Your relationship is something personal to you, and whilst they are entitled to their opinion, you are entitled to reject that opinion. prove to them that you can still make it work despite their efforts to break you up, if you really think it's worth it. my mum also does the whole thing where she relates her past to my future and it's just not relevant anymore. Stay strong if it's really want you want, listen to them, be respectful, but also be mindful of what is best for you and what you are giving up for the relationship. If it falls within your limits, then they should respect your decisions.

Wishing you all the best