How do I do this?

[JanineJoy]

My SO left 6 weeks ago to a job that is 19 hours away. I come from tremendous abuse and abandonment. Plus I have 3 kids and a full time job to carry. I miss him terribly. hes the best thing that has ever happened to me. He's let me know that I am too negative and he's tired of me crying every day. I don't know how to be positive about this when I see no end in sight and I miss every single thing about him.

How do you stay positive? How can I get positive? Do I just start lying to him and not tell him when I'm sad?

It's pushing him away and he's going to leave me if I can't figure out how to do this.

[kittyo9]

Do you have anyone else there to help you-- family, friends, parents of your kids' friends? There's a lot on your plate and you seem kind of overwhelmed by it at the moment.

Definitely don't lie to your SO, but it is important that you take steps to address your own feelings of negativity without relying solely on your SO. Yeah, it does suck that he's away, and it's okay to feel like that, but your SO is also not your therapist. It's better to acknowledge those feelings and move on from them than to get stuck in them. Talk to your SO about your day and what you're thinking, and ask him about his day and what he's thinking. Share the little things with him. Share something you appreciated with him.

I'm not a parent and I'm not really in a place to give parenting advice, so I understand if the rest of this isn't helpful to you. If you're feeling added stress from caring for the kids, see if you can drop them off at a friend's/family member's for a day and take care of things that you've been putting off because of them, or just take yourself out for some self care. It does make a difference. You're a badass lady for doing everything you do as it is, and you do deserve to have a little bit of time to yourself.

Can I ask more about the situation? Is this a permanent move or a temporary job? Are there plans to close the distance or visit?

[JanineJoy]

Its long term temporary until he can sell his home in Ohio. Once that house payment goes.away he can afford what this area pays.

No. I have no family. It is just me, Chad, and any friends that may step up. Plus all this stress brought on a herpes outbreak. (A gift from an abusive cheating ex) chad is okay but this means no sex next weekend that we both need. I'll take care of him though and try to find comfort in just that.

[JanineJoy]

We talked last night. We both apologized and chose to learn from this. I'm so thankful. I told him I'll do better. That I'm sorry I added to his plate.