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    #1

    fights and arguements on our first month...

    hi all.. i am just confused because i cant understand my bf.
    we dont have the same time, and i was trying to make things work. i dont even know if i will still hold on or just give him space... we're just starting but how can we have feelings like this. i was trying to look forward on our future but he keeps comparing me into his past which really pi**ed me off but still let him feel that i can understand. sometimes or most of the time i am questioning myself if he really love me. we always do video call.. but now it hurts me. i feel that its not worth for. he so insensitive that he only see his part.
    is it really suffocated wen you try to call him when he goes on a party???? we are miles and miles away all i want him to understand is that i care for him, even if sumtyms we have an agreement that we chat on specific day or time but then he will just txt me because a friend invited him isn't it S....KS!!!
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    #2
    You need to sit him down and have a long talk with him about this. Tell him how it makes you feel when he compares you to his past (I assume you mean any ex girlfriend he's ever had, big no no in a relationship), when he remains selfish, and when he breaks promises to be with you. He doesn't have to turn down his friends all of the time for you, but if you have already made plans, he needs to honor them or have a damn good reason why he can't. He needs to realize that you have feelings and that these things are affecting you in a negative way, just because you're not there in person doesn't mean you're not a person at all. You're his GIRLFRIEND, he chose to be in the relationship and so he must choose to treat you as an equal and respect you or lose you.

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      #3
      Long Distance Relationships are hard for many reasons. We want to spend as much time as we can with our bf/gf's but we also need to realize they have their life. I don't want my fiance' sitting around missing me, I want him to spend as much time as he can doing things he enjoys too. We are together as a couple and I know that..he doesn't have to spend every second with me...that's not fair for him...or for I...as I too have a life.

      Try to communicate with him and explain how you are feeling...one month into a relationship you shouldn't be this frustrated....
      NY to Texas Married on...August 17th, 2013

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        #4
        Your LD relationship is very young still so I'm guessing you 2 haven't set up any basic rules or guidelines when it comes to communicating and spending time with each other... If you haven't told him how you feel he won't know he's hurting you by going out with his friends when you were suppose to talk and maybe he hasn't made it clear that when a friend invites him out he wants to go and postpone your chatting...?

        Me and Andy don't have any schedules whatsoever and sometimes when I read about threads on here it makes me glad because they seem to cause so many problems if the other person isn't there on time etc... We talk whenever we're home at the same time and text throughout the day and if my friends invite me to somewhere and I wanna go I'll just let Andy know I'm going and the same goes for him and we'll talk the next day.

        Talk to him so you can both agree on when would be a good time to talk and if it's ok to go out with friends when you've settled a date - I know for many couples on here it's a sensitive thing if their SO don't show up when agreed so the best thing to do is to talk it over right at the beginning and I'm sure that will result in much less arguing and more fun times spent together.

        LDR is all about communication and team work with your partner!


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          #5
          Originally posted by Tanja View Post
          Your LD relationship is very young still so I'm guessing you 2 haven't set up any basic rules or guidelines when it comes to communicating and spending time with each other... If you haven't told him how you feel he won't know he's hurting you by going out with his friends when you were suppose to talk and maybe he hasn't made it clear that when a friend invites him out he wants to go and postpone your chatting...?

          Me and Andy don't have any schedules whatsoever and sometimes when I read about threads on here it makes me glad because they seem to cause so many problems if the other person isn't there on time etc... We talk whenever we're home at the same time and text throughout the day and if my friends invite me to somewhere and I wanna go I'll just let Andy know I'm going and the same goes for him and we'll talk the next day.

          Talk to him so you can both agree on when would be a good time to talk and if it's ok to go out with friends when you've settled a date - I know for many couples on here it's a sensitive thing if their SO don't show up when agreed so the best thing to do is to talk it over right at the beginning and I'm sure that will result in much less arguing and more fun times spent together.

          LDR is all about communication and team work with your partner!
          SPOT ON TANJA!

          Pretty, think about what you need from your relationship, and listen to what he is saying he needs, compromise and come up with a plan, and be prepared to change the plan to fit the changes in your lives.

          Everything I know, and anywhere I go, It gets hard but it won't take away my love,
          And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done, It gets hard but it won't take away my love

          sigpic

          Me without Him is like Son of Beast without the loop.

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by Karringtyn View Post
            Long Distance Relationships are hard for many reasons. We want to spend as much time as we can with our bf/gf's but we also need to realize they have their life. I don't want my fiance' sitting around missing me, I want him to spend as much time as he can doing things he enjoys too. We are together as a couple and I know that..he doesn't have to spend every second with me...that's not fair for him...or for I...as I too have a life.

            Try to communicate with him and explain how you are feeling...one month into a relationship you shouldn't be this frustrated....
            "...one month into a relationship you shouldn't be this frustrated...."
            "...one month into a relationship you shouldn't be this frustrated...."

            This is sooooo important to really understand. I'm going to be completely honest with you and say that I really did not think I could be in a LDR before Ryan found this website and all of the "ways to do things together" etc. Are you all doing those things? Or just video chatting when it's convenient?

            Last night Ryan actually called me before he left work and wanted to make sure that it was okay. I explained to him that when we don't have pre arranged plans (we probably do date night 2-3 times a week) he could do whatever he wanted but that I loved the fact that he called me and let me know his plans so I wasn't waiting for him to get home from work.

            I know I could use some more details?

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              #7
              thank you guys.. i realized i was acting so immature and childish. we've talk already and now i understand what he really wants.. i just hope we can work our LDR coz i never thought i cn be in this kind of relationship. may God give us more strength to hold on.

              Comment

                #8
                A little late in getting back to you...but I am glad you talked. LDR's are hard....but so is any relationship. I wish you luck and again I say...nice to meet you!
                NY to Texas Married on...August 17th, 2013

                Comment

                  #9
                  I think LDRs require a bit more give and take than CDRs because your personal lives are much more separate than they would be normally. It takes some getting used to but I'm sure you'll get there

                  Best of luck
                  In a relationship with


                  Read mine & Tanja's story here!

                  My Albums:
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                  Summer 2010: Part 1 & Part 2
                  My dog Sam ♥

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                    #10
                    LDR's take a lot of effort and that is something most people don't understand, unless you're in a LDR yourself. I'm glad that you talked to him! My advice to you is to make sure that you have great communication! Communication is the most important thing in a LDR. Best of luck!

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                      #11
                      I'm glad you got a chance to talk to him and work some things out. It sounds like you're just having a lot of communication problems all at once. I've had some of the same problems here and there, but talking always fixed them. Just keep talking, talking, talking, oh and listening

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